Real England

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ElXSuAJX0AA7x8v?format=jpg&name=900x900

Lol

apparently this is a storyboard of my life type thing people do on instagram. Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals, Bradders, Smithster. This is quite a rich internal life here!

Those are Earl Brutus lyrics I swear

actual extract from john lanchester's capital

>> I have to return some videotapes. The Hangover 2, absolute classic haha

I have been laughing at this all day. pic.twitter.com/faK89utkui

— Daniel Howdon (@danielhowdon) October 28, 2020

Inevitable

lol what is that

last night I got back from the bar & tried to describe a particular British man-type me & my friend identified pic.twitter.com/D7LDkInsK5

— hannah proctor (@hhnnccnnll) November 19, 2016

Posted in 2016 and left-ish, 30-something Twitter has never recovered.

oh
thanks!

1 skeleton in a German uniform = 1 respect pic.twitter.com/rFcwYRuz1u

— Scott (@scottwilks) November 6, 2020

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EmICz_xXEAAnZDP?format=jpg&name=medium

nice touch

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/brawl-breaks-out-tesco-eggs-19243834

I’ve never felt more patriotic than I did after reading this. pic.twitter.com/ofESRC5Xyy

— Suzi (@SuziOvens) November 8, 2020

I mean this might _not_ be England but

Genuinely speechless. pic.twitter.com/2W7VyTaOzz

— adidas cringe (@adaedophiles) November 11, 2020

irl lol

lotta smug cunts in the follow-up comments

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Emr8lWXXYAQ4Guh?format=jpg&name=large

oof that hits hard.

Personal number plate owners who are a mix between The Stone Roses and Primal Scream with the swagger of Oasis

it was posted by Kev The Postman Poet from Hudds and is a genuine publication believe it or not!

honestly tried to zoom in to see if that was Rob Coombes, brother of Gaz

it’s Reg Transfers

He's Gaz Coombes' brother-in-law iirc.

i thought you were all joking as it's clearly the lad out of Take That but having just seen the picture full size my mistake

Gaz Coombes’ brother does something financial in Paris and is married to a McAleese.

Gaz Coombes did something in Paris, 1940-ish

This guy doesn't fit the Real England mood here as I have nothing but sympathy but I didn't know where else to share it. His wee resigned chuckle at the end slays me

Welcome to the north ✊🏻 pic.twitter.com/FOzD9yCTtI

— Darryl Morris (@darrylmorris) November 17, 2020

Very much right to appear here, I reckon. I think of this thread as a celebration as much as anything, and if that fantastic wee clip's not "Real England", I don't know what is.

The difference a second makes

This is the most British thing I have seen in ages pic.twitter.com/mDchcpe7Lc

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 27, 2020

and another

This is a SUCH a thing I love it pic.twitter.com/RUxR87fCQ7

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 28, 2020

That second one is because he stops and puts an extra happy Christmas in between saying 1 and pressing the button. Idiot.

i mean he brought it on himself in the second one by sticking in a happy christmas after one

^

lol this was the wording of a post i left in my drafts.

I'm supposed to be photographing the local switch-on next weekend, so I better bear this in mind. Just blaze away from around the "Three..." mark.

Worker woke to find word 'nonce' tattooed on forehead as two arrested for GBHhttps://t.co/CKQbYQ6h2N

— Daily Mirror (@DailyMirror) November 28, 2020

Anger as vandals change Great Torrington's name.

"To put all of these things right is costly, and a cost which will be borne by the council tax payers of Great Torrington. However, what is worse is that it is sad that some people find this appropriate to do in our lovely small community town."

https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/incoming/article4756768.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_Great-Torrington-Town-sign-vandalised.jpg

could have turned the rest into 'anal scoff' at a stretch

an appropriately cavalier response

"Come to Great Torrington and get your Roscoff."

More like Real Britain but

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/27/hundreds-uk-tourists-flee-covid-quarantine-swiss-ski-resort-verbier

Swiss media quoted an elderly woman from London, who had self-isolated in her second home in Verbier, as saying: “For days I was put under general suspicion. It was unbearable.”

^^^

I've never had a lower sympathy rating for someone, lol

Man with 'samosa between his buttocks' among 45,000 arrests made by West Midlands Police in 2020https://t.co/8yn4RMe7Js

— Birmingham Live (@birmingham_live) January 1, 2021

Nowadays you'll be arrested and thrown in jail just for saying you've got a samosa between your cheeks

Patients have turned down the chance to have the Pfizer coronavirus vaccine because they want to "wait for the English one", a doctor says https://t.co/iNhFD2Q24X

— BBC North East and Cumbria (@BBCNEandCumbria) January 7, 2021

I want the huawei one that gives me 5g superpowers!

Real Scotland I guess

As temperatures drop, take care on those roads and mind yer cannabis plantation might no be as well hidden tae.. 👀#HashInTheAttic#BlawPatrol#BabyItsColdOutside#OpProspect pic.twitter.com/kMyCjFX0za

— Levenmouth Police (@LevenmouthPol) January 13, 2021

Real Scouse Nan

Scouse nans ha ha! pic.twitter.com/15owTXPkd3

— MOTJ GOALS (@MOTJGOALS) January 16, 2021

That cannabis tweet is amazing too.

it gives me no pleasure to inform you that we’re talking about Echt Nederland here:

Geen sneeuw op het dak van de buren? Melden van vermoeden #hennepkwekerij kan ook anoniem via @M08007000. pic.twitter.com/e5zkD0IfiX

— Politie Haarlem (@POL_Haarlem) January 30, 2015

"Teenagers offer free squirts of hand sanitiser to shoppers in Bradford - but it's super glue"
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/teenagers-offer-free-squirts-hand-19654287