"Will you shut up, man?" US Politics October 2020

xposts that's a good explanation caek, thanks!

everyone knows cat's real names are shit like Jellybelly and Rum Tum Bastard and Ole' Heteronormativity

I built an outdoor cat lounge for a neighbor's aging indoor-only cats, it took them a while to not be scared by being outside but after a month they were happy to lounge in the summer heat and listen to birds.

My one guy is terrified whenever he's outside, crying and hiding by my legs. The other is like zoooom peace out bitch! At this point they're both too old to learn the new trick of being outdoors unsupervised. Maybe my next cat(s) I'd start from get-go as indoor-outdoor but man I'd be soooo nervous something would happen to them. That's selfish, I know.

https://i.imgur.com/yBsQERx.png

Now imagine the fun that happens should Biden win Omaha.

Cats are horrible for a ton of species that are part of ecosystems that cats don't belong in, they have no predators to keep them in check, and they've brought devastation to isolated ecosystems all over the globe. Down with (outdoor) cats.

Unless you literally have, like, a barn full of hay and need to keep the mice out.

almost every internet space i frequent is made up largely of, like, people with MAs in Library Science and fibromyalgia who are--it goes without saying--cat people, and usually it's great but I just can not get down with the "not MY outdoor cat!" bird-holocaust denialism. It's just like people whose dads are cops or landlords

Senate just voted 53- 43 Yea for Coney Barrett btw

A few years ago, when I was about to head upstairs to bed, I decided to check the back door to see if the cat wanted to come in, and he did. I opened the door and he meeped happily in greeting ... and in doing so released the live mouse that was clenched in his jaws. The mouse quickly ran around the mudroom in a panic, while the cat pounced in pursuit. It was maybe 1am and I'd had a couple of drinks and just wanted to go to bed, but I decided to just catch the thing myself and toss it back outside. I closed the door, got some container, cornered the mouse, and successfully trapped it. Then, against all good judgement, looked over at the cat who was eager to catch the mouse, and figured, what the hell, I'm in a small space, the mouse has nowhere to go ... I'll let it loose for the cat to catch again. The mouse races for the tiny broom closet off the mudroom, cat right behind it, and ... the mouse just vanishes. Me and the cat spend another 30 minutes searching this tiny, finite space for this stupid mouse that nonetheless outsmarted us both. I finally gave up and went to bed, but I could still hear the car rustling around in the closet, confused as I was.

(Cat not car)

this is a member of Congress

My wife has the gift of premonition.
Last night she dreamed that Federal squads were in our home seizing guns, knives, “unauthorized foods” and stored water. They said we had been “reported”.
Becca awoke crying.
What happened to our freedom? She asked.
What indeed.

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@RepClayHiggins) October 23, 2020

Lolol
My cats have caught and killed baby lizards that snuck inside. Good kitties. But mice are too cute, I don't wanna see them dead or, worse yet, mauled. Was at a tacqueria and mouse scurried into dining room. All the customers were trying to kick this poor frightened lil creature, it made me ill. Eventually a succession of ppl managed to kick it outside, where it lie dying when I left. Ugh.

Senate just voted 53- 43 Yea for Coney Barrett btw

― Un-fooled and placid (sic), Friday, October 23, 2020 3:41 PM bookmarkflaglink

wait what? i thought there was no feasible way to have this vote until Sunday?

sorry, vote on whether to proceed

What's eerie to me about the bird deaths is that I don't think I've ever seen a cat kill a bird. This massive slaughter is happening pretty much invisibly.

Grew up with 2-4 indoor/outdoor cats, and it was a regular occurrence to find a bird head, or wing, or most of a torso with the insides eaten out, or a pile of feathers and viscera on the back steps. Rarely ever saw them actually hunting, but of our guys was so proficient that you could tell when he was coming home from a roam at the bottom of the garden, because mynahs would gather in the largest trees near the house and hurl vindictive hate-speech at him.

"The one thing he's absolutely not gonna do is put up a big foot-stomping fight over the "unfair" election"

i'm gonna go ahead and predict the exact opposite of this!

He whines incessantly about things that are perfectly fair and reasonable or minor; when he actually suffers giant losses, he drops the matter and walks away.

i thought that last line was about a cat!

ohhh thanks sic

i am reposting this favorite cat video i put on 77
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3-sie5pNUE

This is now the cat thread

My wife has the gift of premonition.
Last night she dreamed that Federal squads were in our home seizing guns, knives, “unauthorized foods” and stored water. They said we had been “reported”.
Becca awoke crying.
What happened to our freedom? She asked.
What indeed.

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@RepClayHiggins) October 23, 2020

Bring back witch trials

NOT TODAY, SLIPPERS

Not sure if this has been covered already but I keep checking to see if this gets deleted but apparently it's real?

Pres. Trump is fighting for YOU! Here are some of his priorities for a 2nd term:

*Establish Permanent Manned Presence on The Moon
*Send the 1st Manned Mission to Mars
*Build World’s Greatest Infrastructure System
*Establish National High-Speed Wireless Internet Network

— GOP (@GOP) October 23, 2020

omg Christians are a menace. Even the reasonable ones, because they normalize Xtianity for the batshit ones.

i will vote for this if the mission to mars is manned by donald trump

that's the guy that livestreamed from auschwitz i think

stop making me like you dude

Ending the present ongoing mass casualty event should probably make it into your top four. https://t.co/cH8UfKfZfp

— Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) October 23, 2020

gil scott heron had a song about this

Becca's lucky, I've dreaded waking up for four years now.

What that GOP twitter account will talk about in a few days:

"Despite Democrats’ procedural maneuvering, Barrett will almost certainly still be confirmed to the supreme court in a nearly party-line vote on Monday."

*Establish National High-Speed Wireless Internet Network

lol

going through a whole term and announcing priorities for the second one that you have never once mentioned before, ten days before the election

Sure thing. Nobody in his base would refuse a 5G connection.

Pretty sure he's referring to the all-American 6G prototype, which automatically dechips and devaccinates.

fuck everything, we're doing six Gs

i thought that last line was about a cat!

ha :D

i thought that last line was about a cat!

https://deadstate.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Screen-Shot-2017-07-27-at-7.35.41-AM.png

those are all failing my anti-Turing test. clearly written by the author of the tweet

is this the first time you've encountered this Twitter account

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, October 23, 2020 2:51 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

hmm, I was not familiar with this person at all but part of me did worry this might be the case. bummer, though they're still funny.

multiple xposts

Cats are horrible for a ton of species that are part of ecosystems that cats don't belong in, they have no predators to keep them in check

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-45588088

'Croydon cat killer' mystery solved by police

The so-called Croydon cat killer does not exist, the Metropolitan Police has confirmed.
The force launched an investigation in 2015 into reports of mutilated cats in Croydon and the surrounding area.
Twenty-five post-mortem examinations were carried out but found no evidence of "human involvement".
Scotland Yard said injuries inflicted on cats were "likely to be the result of predation or scavenging by wildlife on cats killed in vehicle collisions".
Foxes are believed to be behind some of the mutilations.

Cats are horrible for a ton of species that are part of ecosystems that cats don't belong in, they have no predators to keep them in check

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_meat

cats are weirdos

Didn’t Germans call cats “roof rabbits” when they had to eat them because of famine or war?

good band name

I think "Roof Rabbits" was the nickname of the 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry that Teddy Roosevelt served in in the Spanish-American war. Or, you know, pretty sure. Like, 98%, just leaving a tiny bit of room for error.

Anyway.

On the 2016 timeline, today was the day of the Comey letter. Congrats to everyone on reaching the east coast close of business.

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) October 23, 2020

we're still on the 2016 timeline stay woke

Far-right dipshit charged with shooting at police station during MN protests. Let's all pretend to be shocked.

someone from Mpls I follow on Twitter posted something I am feeling very much right now: fuck you to all the "reasonable" know-it-alls on twitter who were constantly gaslighting people like me (who lives literally 6 blocks from the police station that burned) about how we were paranoid when, for instance, i would see a car with indiana plates w/four white dudes driving past curfew down my extremely quiet street after curfew at 10pm on a sunday night

roof rabbits vs. lot lizards

If you're eating either one, times are tough.

Feeling that, ums. Although don’t forget to add some dickhead from high school who never leaves Maple Grove sharing Candace Owens videos and their opinions on Minneapolis, a place they haven’t been to without Vikings tickets.

What is happening pic.twitter.com/ZUt29ObBL9

— Blake News (@blakehounshell) October 23, 2020