"Will you shut up, man?" US Politics October 2020

https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/trump-biden-election-map/?cid=abcnews

― Wayne Grotski (symsymsym), Friday, October 23, 2020 12:36 PM (thirty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

if trump wins both TX and GA his odds rise to 26%. makes me nervous!!!

I know it's just human nature but I always find it funny how people spend so much time trying to read the tea leaves of polls when we'll just have the actual election results soon.

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, October 23, 2020 1:10 PM

Hating surprises is good and correct.

I mean I'm in that group who believes America & maybe the entire planet is totally fucked should he win another 4 years so what else can we do right now. there's a fucking plague and my city in particular is one of the hardest hit in the country, there's nothing for me to do but stay inside and worry about polls

Among other things, I genuinely worry about the suicide rates if Trump wins again.

fucking dying at this shit:

I forced a bot to read over 1,000 hours of QAnon theories and then asked it to write QAnon theories of its own. Here they are. pic.twitter.com/jpCkZJql0w

— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) October 23, 2020

those are great!

those are all failing my anti-Turing test. clearly written by the author of the tweet

https://i.imgur.com/6mhE29h.png

this could have already happened! how would we know?

right. the outcome in WI and PA is correlated (quite strongly), so conditional on trump winning one of them, his odds of winning the other go up.

all states are correlated with each other at some level, but because demographics is a predictor of vote, states that are more demographically similar (eg. PA and WI) are more correlated.

this, btw, is why biden winning NC is almost exactly as good news as biden winning FL according to that 538 map. FL is worth more electoral votes, so it should increase biden's win probability more, but a world in which biden has won NC is also a world in which biden has won the midwest, because NC is more similar to the midwest than FL.

cats will live longer/healthier lives indoors anyway.

physically yes, but it's probably not true of their mental health. tigers live longer lives in zoos but they go nuts.

Those Q theories were all really good but I just about lost it at Eric Trump being arrested for bone crimes.

he had the bones INSIDE himself the whole time!

I forced a bot, at gunpoint, to read 1,000 hours of Qanon theories

not to mention that bones are his money. and his emails

those are all failing my anti-Turing test. clearly written by the author of the tweet

is this the first time you've encountered this Twitter account

Trump learning Bibi has the same understanding of loyalty as Trump does. You hate to see it https://t.co/dUUaHUQRuo

— 😱 Endless Zoom Meeting 😱 (@AdamSerwer) October 23, 2020

Tigers are not housecats

I mean house is right there in the name lol

you... you know that cats didn't name themselves "housecats", right?

I felt bad that my one cat loved to run outside but I wasn't ok with him being out there (if nothing else, he'd get 1000 cacti thorns in him). So I bought him a harness and leash. Put it on him wrong the 1st time and traumatized him. It's been many months so maybe it's time to try again.

They didn't??????

you... you know that cats didn't name themselves "housecats", right?

In most feline dialects, the name is Rrrooowurrr (or a close cognate). It translates roughly as "Claw-Demon."

I think if you have a decent sized abode your cat should be fine. my cat is definitely a little bit sad because he lives in such a small apartment, definitely liked it more when I lived a place with double the square footage. although he's so needy that now I'm working from home he's in hog heaven

Yeah and give them some mentally stimulating toys, play with them, etc. Though I feel like when I put treats in a treat ball my one dude is just like "ugh are you serious with this shit? This isn't a game, man. Just put them things on a dish, I'm not some dipshit bird pressing levers for rewards"

Since I'd rather talk about cats than the election, I'll add that I've lived with both indoor-only and indoor-outdoor cats, and my overall anecdotal assessment is that the cats who could go outside were a lot happier and less neurotic. (Allowing that all cats seem fairly neurotic from a human perspective, I'm sure their behavior makes sense to them.) We currently have an old-ish cat who is an indoor-outdoor cat and we would never take that away from him. BUT ALSO, he kills a lot of animals. We only know about the ones he brings inside or leaves lying on the doorstep, but I'm sure there are more. I'm OK with most of them — it's sad to see a dead baby bunny, but at the same time our neighborhood is overrun with rabbits so I'm not worried about the survival of that species. But the birds do make me feel bad. My wife and I have talked about making our next cat indoor-only, whenever our current fella moves on (hopefully not for a good while).

It's a hard call, and I think bird people/anti-cat people are way too cavalier about "Just keep them inside!," because that's basically keeping a living animal locked up in jail no matter how comfy the home is. But I do take the bird impact seriously.

Yeah and give them some mentally stimulating toys, play with them, etc. Though I feel like when I put treats in a treat ball my one dude is just like "ugh are you serious with this shit? This isn't a game, man. Just put them things on a dish, I'm not some dipshit bird pressing levers for rewards"

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, October 23, 2020 12:14 PM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah, I play with my guy a lot, I chase him around the apartment, do the classic string dangling thing, make him run after me to receive his freeze dried chicken etc.

xposts that's a good explanation caek, thanks!

everyone knows cat's real names are shit like Jellybelly and Rum Tum Bastard and Ole' Heteronormativity

I built an outdoor cat lounge for a neighbor's aging indoor-only cats, it took them a while to not be scared by being outside but after a month they were happy to lounge in the summer heat and listen to birds.

My one guy is terrified whenever he's outside, crying and hiding by my legs. The other is like zoooom peace out bitch! At this point they're both too old to learn the new trick of being outdoors unsupervised. Maybe my next cat(s) I'd start from get-go as indoor-outdoor but man I'd be soooo nervous something would happen to them. That's selfish, I know.

https://i.imgur.com/yBsQERx.png

Now imagine the fun that happens should Biden win Omaha.

Cats are horrible for a ton of species that are part of ecosystems that cats don't belong in, they have no predators to keep them in check, and they've brought devastation to isolated ecosystems all over the globe. Down with (outdoor) cats.

Unless you literally have, like, a barn full of hay and need to keep the mice out.

almost every internet space i frequent is made up largely of, like, people with MAs in Library Science and fibromyalgia who are--it goes without saying--cat people, and usually it's great but I just can not get down with the "not MY outdoor cat!" bird-holocaust denialism. It's just like people whose dads are cops or landlords

Senate just voted 53- 43 Yea for Coney Barrett btw

A few years ago, when I was about to head upstairs to bed, I decided to check the back door to see if the cat wanted to come in, and he did. I opened the door and he meeped happily in greeting ... and in doing so released the live mouse that was clenched in his jaws. The mouse quickly ran around the mudroom in a panic, while the cat pounced in pursuit. It was maybe 1am and I'd had a couple of drinks and just wanted to go to bed, but I decided to just catch the thing myself and toss it back outside. I closed the door, got some container, cornered the mouse, and successfully trapped it. Then, against all good judgement, looked over at the cat who was eager to catch the mouse, and figured, what the hell, I'm in a small space, the mouse has nowhere to go ... I'll let it loose for the cat to catch again. The mouse races for the tiny broom closet off the mudroom, cat right behind it, and ... the mouse just vanishes. Me and the cat spend another 30 minutes searching this tiny, finite space for this stupid mouse that nonetheless outsmarted us both. I finally gave up and went to bed, but I could still hear the car rustling around in the closet, confused as I was.

(Cat not car)

this is a member of Congress

My wife has the gift of premonition.
Last night she dreamed that Federal squads were in our home seizing guns, knives, “unauthorized foods” and stored water. They said we had been “reported”.
Becca awoke crying.
What happened to our freedom? She asked.
What indeed.

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@RepClayHiggins) October 23, 2020

Lolol
My cats have caught and killed baby lizards that snuck inside. Good kitties. But mice are too cute, I don't wanna see them dead or, worse yet, mauled. Was at a tacqueria and mouse scurried into dining room. All the customers were trying to kick this poor frightened lil creature, it made me ill. Eventually a succession of ppl managed to kick it outside, where it lie dying when I left. Ugh.

Senate just voted 53- 43 Yea for Coney Barrett btw

― Un-fooled and placid (sic), Friday, October 23, 2020 3:41 PM bookmarkflaglink

wait what? i thought there was no feasible way to have this vote until Sunday?

sorry, vote on whether to proceed

What's eerie to me about the bird deaths is that I don't think I've ever seen a cat kill a bird. This massive slaughter is happening pretty much invisibly.

Grew up with 2-4 indoor/outdoor cats, and it was a regular occurrence to find a bird head, or wing, or most of a torso with the insides eaten out, or a pile of feathers and viscera on the back steps. Rarely ever saw them actually hunting, but of our guys was so proficient that you could tell when he was coming home from a roam at the bottom of the garden, because mynahs would gather in the largest trees near the house and hurl vindictive hate-speech at him.

"The one thing he's absolutely not gonna do is put up a big foot-stomping fight over the "unfair" election"

i'm gonna go ahead and predict the exact opposite of this!

He whines incessantly about things that are perfectly fair and reasonable or minor; when he actually suffers giant losses, he drops the matter and walks away.

i thought that last line was about a cat!

ohhh thanks sic

i am reposting this favorite cat video i put on 77
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3-sie5pNUE

This is now the cat thread

My wife has the gift of premonition.
Last night she dreamed that Federal squads were in our home seizing guns, knives, “unauthorized foods” and stored water. They said we had been “reported”.
Becca awoke crying.
What happened to our freedom? She asked.
What indeed.

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@RepClayHiggins) October 23, 2020

Bring back witch trials

NOT TODAY, SLIPPERS

Not sure if this has been covered already but I keep checking to see if this gets deleted but apparently it's real?

Pres. Trump is fighting for YOU! Here are some of his priorities for a 2nd term:

*Establish Permanent Manned Presence on The Moon
*Send the 1st Manned Mission to Mars
*Build World’s Greatest Infrastructure System
*Establish National High-Speed Wireless Internet Network

— GOP (@GOP) October 23, 2020

omg Christians are a menace. Even the reasonable ones, because they normalize Xtianity for the batshit ones.

i will vote for this if the mission to mars is manned by donald trump