New Yorker magazine alert thread

omg haaaa

this guy wtf

let those who have not ended their zoom calls this way throw the first stone

why do people think the call was over?

if he ever writes a thinkpiece about this we're pretending he didn't

Zoom = the new Chatroulette

Toobin also once hit on a female media figure, repeatedly, offering to fist her. He even followed her back to her hotel room to do this. https://t.co/pThhATxDgM https://t.co/8AirF17p90

— foster kamer. (@weareyourfek) October 19, 2020

wtf man

yeahhh sorry - feel free to delete or spoiler tag

not super into the humorous zoom content on twitter right now given this appears to have been sexual assault

Wait so he intentionally flashed a coworker? On a work Zoom call? What?

yeah, i'm waiting to hear the details. i think a lot of people had first reactions and just assumed they knew what happened - masturbating? having sex with someone? using the restroom/showering? there's all sorts of ways to show your dick during a zoom call

the vice article is not written in the way you would expect if it were obviously an accident

Toobin’s Conde Nast email has been disabled and he has not tweeted since October 13. He did, however, appear on CNN, where he is the network’s chief legal analyst, on Saturday. “Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” CNN said in a statement.

this is not someone changing their clothes while they think the camera is off.

sure, but it could also be...toobin sleeping with someone that isn't his wife?

on zoom?

Toobin should have confirmed the camera was off before he whipped out his personal issue.

beats me! i don't know, i read the vice article in a different way. it seemed purposefully vague, but not in a way that hinted at a malicious act. just an embarrassing one.

i'm sure someone on that haunted zoom call will leak the details. hopefully they're just embarrassing.

beats me!

Well, as Toobin would probably tell you, it ain't gonna beat itself.

ok, so that puts josh in the "he was masturbating" camp

that might be the most likely thing!

given he has history, no one is saying anything, and he's been put on leave, i'm not sure i agree with that.

okay, so!
- heard several name-y staffers were on the call
- hearing the call was recorded
- hearing that everyone had taken a break during a long call, and that *gestures* THAT is what they came back to
and:
- hearing remnick had to be the one to alert him.

— foster kamer. (@weareyourfek) October 19, 2020

Can I just say that I am puzzled by describing repeatedly asking someone if you can fist them as "hitting on them"?

I mean, I guess in a very specific way

"i thought i had muted the Zoom video"

oh no

no no no no

look who among us

but no no no

lmao Tracer

who amongst us hasn't gotten so worked up by a tedious work call that the only possible way to blah blah blah

zoom dick incident

― Guayaquil (eephus!),

Kathryn Bigelow's best film imo

"Uh, Jeff? You've got a little penis on your hand there, and I mean little"

might have been extra weird and creepy if he knew the video was off but left the audio on.

Given the fisting story part of me kinda wonders if it wasn't even about dick-in-hand, if maybe they all came back from a break to the full Goatse.

i have no opinion on zoom dick but i do kinda want to know if 'repeatedly asking someone if you can fist them' is an approach that ever actually worked for 2bin

think toobin, rather than zoom, should be liable for the D? Then you get why S230 matters.

— Shoshana Weissmann, Sloth Committee Chair 🦥 (@senatorshoshana) October 19, 2020

one of the funniest things that ever happened to me on a zoom call was during a particularly keyed-up meeting just after covid hit, when zoom calls were still a novelty, and senior leadership were kind of “cascading” comms about what to say to teams yada yada, and with like 1 minute to go a guy i know sends a chat JUST TO ME that says “does this mean i can get back to wanking now?” and i fuckin lose it laughing right as everyone signs off.

in retrospect i’m awed by his trust that the chat was just to me rather than going out to all participants

oh my fucking god https://t.co/A0uliRN6bo pic.twitter.com/Ev74lZQzMw

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) October 19, 2020

ok forget i said this sounds like assault, it sounds extremely funny.

Even without the jerking off that call sounds like a nightmare.

lol

... and the stimulation continued.

there's all sorts of ways to show your dick during a zoom call

Um, Karl, you ok?

He meant to type "you're," which makes more sense.

“meet me in the break out room”

Was waiting for this

and people say *i* embarrassed the new yorker

— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) October 19, 2020

I hope someone is already working on the appropriate Eustace Tilley graphic, in which a Victorian dandy is holding up a monocle to look at Toobin's, um, toob

This feels like a good time to deploy the WHAT ARE THOOOOSE meme

Even without the jerking off that call sounds like a nightmare.

― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Monday, October 19, 2020

haha, yes

The post headline is “toobin his own horn”