TRUMP GOT COVID

Apropos of nothing, I sing this thread title to the tune of "Saved by Zero."

One Case Leads to Another

the part I can't reconcile is that everyone knows this disease really gets bad from days 7-10 and the President had to be hospitalized on day 2 or 3 & they're claiming he could be discharged on day 5 despite being given all these treatments you would associate with someone who's in for a long hospital stay. like it's really fucking obvious that this administration is doing everything possible to show he's doing well and suggesting his prognosis is somehow different from every COVID-19 patient on the planet for political reasons and quite frankly that might wind up getting him killed

Live your life like a placebo effect, that’s the ticket.

btw the press corps were called to Walter Reed three hours ago and they haven't said anything yet, something's up

This is such a circus

Well, he is a clown.

what a bozo

Now Kayleigh McEnany's got the Cove.

A real jabroni.

Voting for that to be on his tombstone.

quite frankly that might wind up getting him killed

fine with that tbh

btw the press corps were called to Walter Reed three hours ago and they haven't said anything yet, something's up

― frogbs, Monday, 5 October 2020 17:48 (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

It'll be a victory over covid parade as he heads back to the WH

With a fogger atop the limo belching his aerosolized spittle onto random passers-by.

press briefing, mandatory
subject: you all have covid now and we are the experts on covid now

Once you’ve inhaled the spores, you become other. Surrender to their spell and speak a sooth beyond human ken.

https://t.co/1DT19eZHET pic.twitter.com/qwVNEbXXPA

— Alex Ross (@alexrossmusic) October 5, 2020

good shit

immensely satisfying monday paragraph

"which lie do we tell them!?"
"which lies, it's gotta be more than one"
"wait, did we use this lie yet?"
"....we're running out of time, just put the garbage bag on the lectern, take off your mask and get back in here"

*PRESS SECRETARY WHO SPENT LAST WEEK EATING HER FRIENDS' COVID BARF AND BARFED COVID ALL OVER REPORTERS YESTERDAY*

"I DEFINITIVELY AM NOT GOING TO JAIL. THERE WAS NO WAY FOR ME TO KNOW I SHOULD HAVE WORKED REMOTELY YESTERDAY, OR AT THE VERY LEAST WORN A DARN TOOTIN MASK"

"...the Lectern remained covered with a garbage bag."

Such fitting symbolism for this whole shitshow.

lectern has to wear a mask too, give it a break

meanwhile, outside of the hospital, the discourse grows louder

Early Sunday afternoon. Thirty days until the election. Donald Trump’s supporters were holding history’s loudest vigil outside Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, where the president’s oxygen levels were being monitored as he struck boardroom poses for the camera. Fifty supporters danced on the northbound curb of Rockville Pike, elbows and knees within inches of side-view mirrors moving at 40 mph. The blare of horns competed with AC/DC and Lee Greenwood.

Men with bullhorns walked around, calling for “eight more years,” praying to God, needling journalists and the handful of protesters across the street, at the intersection of the pike and South Wood Road. A spry older woman ran up and down the two-foot-wide median as “Eye of the Tiger” played on a portable speaker. She had a white Trump flag tied around her waist and a blue Trump flag aloft in her wriggling arms. Her purse swung into the path of BMWs and minivans whooshing by. “TRUMP FOREVER,” the woman on the median shrieked. “TRUMP FOREVER. TRUMP FOREVER.”

"Born in the USA" was trending on Twitter yesterday because Trump supporters were blasting it outside the hospital. If it weren't for all the sick people in the hospital who are just trying to get some rest, I would love the idea of Trump's supporters forcing him to listen to the music of someone who's literally campaigning for his opponent.

Serenading a draft dodger with a song about not having that option.

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run ain't got nowhere to go

Born in the USA, etc.

it's been 40 years, how can people still not get that song?

Let’s not forget that people are morons

cluster city baby

NEWS: @NYMag has confirmed that Pastor Greg Laurie of Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, California has tested POSITIVE for COVID-19. Pastor Laurie was at the Prayer March on the Mall with Mike Pence and Franklin Graham and the ACB Rose Garden event later that day.

— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) October 5, 2020

STRIKE DOWN THE HERETICS GOD

From Karl's post:

the lectern remained covered by a garbage bag

I repeat:

the lectern remained covered by a garbage bag

Can someone please call the writers' room and tell them the metaphors are getting a little too heavy-handed this season?

the lectern remained covered by a garbage bag

Keep on rockin' in the free world

There's covid on the street
Red, white and blue
covid in their feet
covid sleeping in their shoes
But there's a warnin' sign on the road ahead
There's a lot of people sayin' we'd be better off dead
i feel like Satan, and i want to digest them
in my belly for eternity while they scream and beg for forgiveness and i will never fucking listen to them, ever, no matter right or wrong they are because it's motherfuckin apocalypse for the right that's right it's judgment day you fucking pricks

Keep on rockin' in the free world

And yet more in the TOO OBVIOUS zone:

She had a white Trump flag tied around her waist

I will go down with this ship

There will be one - white - flag around my waist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayrHIpnE2mU

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run ain't got nowhere to go
Built FORD tough in the USA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9d5csMFAfE

Saw the Marine One and decoys heading toward Walter Reed.

— Kellie Meyer (@KellieMeyerNews) October 5, 2020

Lectern covered in a plastic bag
No Covid direction, still plenty of traffic
Some kind of fashion

what the fuck is happening

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/10/don-jr-thinks-trump-is-acting-crazy-presidents-covid-joyride-has-family-divided

what a maverick

lol, don JR is the voice of reason in the family right now?

loooooooool

A source familiar with POTUS phone calls from the hospital today tells me he said “I need to get out of here.” He's being warned that if he rushes to leave the hospital and has a setback it would be bad for not just his health, but his re-election campaign.

— Dana Bash (@DanaBashCNN) October 5, 2020

of course this is what it is

he's been demonstrably "out of control" since day 1 of his presidency, and now you have his own children saying he's not fit for office.

maybe it's time to admit that the 25th amendment, section 4, doesn't work and never will work

“I need to get out of here.”

I wonder if he sees dead people.

A spry older woman ran up and down the two-foot-wide median as “Eye of the Tiger” played on a portable speaker. She had a white Trump flag tied around her waist and a blue Trump flag aloft in her wriggling arms. Her purse swung into the path of BMWs and minivans whooshing by. “TRUMP FOREVER,” the woman on the median shrieked. “TRUMP FOREVER. TRUMP FOREVER.”

Pulling from a different King book for a change, read that and pictured the end of "The Jaunt".

Claw hands beat and twisted and danced on the air; abruptly they descended and the thing that had been his son began to claw at its face. "Longer than you think, Dad!" it cackled. "Longer than you think! Held my breath when they gave me the gas! Wanted to see! I saw! I saw! Longer than you think!"

Pink lectern in a plastic bag getting dissed by covid

This is some Chev Chelios shit

lol, I love how the comments seem to be divided between whether his lack of access to Adderall or his lack of access to hair and makeup is making him so stir crazy.