Alone in the Park - it's the Prem 2020-21 thread

Hahaha

footcelsiors all round

after Sarr now apparently

panic button well and truly pressed

A propos of nothing, of all the shit that's happened in football post-Covid, I'm not sure anything has weirded me out more than Ashley Young being capable of growing hair all along

Beginning to worry about the total lack of any evidence that Werder Bremen winger Milot Rashica is being teleported to Bodymoor Heath for a medical with a view to becoming part of the most cataclysmically devastating front four in the Western hemisphere

What a shit week

as i've already implied, it's the luiz/mcginn double pivot that really gets me. how did that almost get relegated

McGinn was badly injured most of the season and wasn't really back to his best til last couple of games this season, Luiz took a long time to settle and figure out how much time he does/doesn't have on the ball at this level - his appearing to figure it out post lockdown was a big contributing factor to us staying up imo

sorry Biscuits

Bild expect Milot Rashica’s move from Werder Bremen to Bayer Leverkusen to be announced shortly. #SVW #B04 #AVFC

— Ronan Murphy (@swearimnotpaul) October 5, 2020

All this talk about United's defence needing improvemt but only Liverpool (33) and city (35) conceded less goals than United (36) in the league last season...
Morgan

I mean, he's got a point. Lot of fuss about nothing really

Hearing reports that Bayer Leverkusen's director of football dropped the paperwork for Rashica down a drain at 17:59 local time, and that Rashica himself subsequently turned out to be a child sitting on another child's shoulders wearing a big coat

Sky Sports Germany now reporting that the children were not in fact wearing a coat of any kind

It's alright lads, we've signed another winger no one's heard of

OFICIAL| @FPellistri07 nuevo jugador de @ManUtd por 5 temporadas. El equipo inglés pagó la cláusula de rescisión y en este momento @OficialCAP está subiendo la documentación internacional. Muchos éxitos!

OFFICIAL | Fellistri new player of @ManUtd for 5 seasons. Good luck!! pic.twitter.com/tv2qYbfegF

— Sebas Giovanelli (@SebasGiovanelli) October 5, 2020

a winger! that'll do it

we actually do need one. Haven't had a recognised right-winger in the squad in like seven years

it's probably not this lad though

I am told that West Ham have reached an agreement to cancel Jack Wilshere's contract by mutual consent #whufc

— Jacob Steinberg (@JacobSteinberg) October 5, 2020

hope Ed Woodward's watching Twitter

Kevin Mirallas has signed for the Turkish side Gaziantep, who initially announced it on Twitter using a picture of Morgan Schneiderlin.

They've now given him some baklava with 'Happy Birthday' written on it.

Traore has apparently signed for €40m, to join in January when his work permit is in place.

aiui, he has played 24 minutes of senior football.

it's €20m + €20m in add-ons

apparently we've been scouting him for years and Atalanta's academy is meant to be the best in Italy at the moment

but it's a little bit weird alright

Cavani official now too. Been given the #7 shirt so he's fucked

Apparently Eric-Maxim Choupo-Moting has never once commanded a transfer fee? That's kind of astonishing for someone who's played for seven clubs and has Schalke, PSG and now Bayern on their CV.

and

I noticed Everton were understandably being linked with quite a few goalkeepers earlier. WTF has Lossl ever done wrong for them? Pickford should be cleaning his boots and he should have been given a run in the team. He's a class act.

well you used the word 'understandably'!

well only "understandably" because their last two managers seem to be (despite whatever other talents they apparently possess) myopic clueless cunts who don't seem to comprehend how shit Pick-me-ford is.

but now understandably they can send their "dud" back to us on loan

when a man is tired of ben hamer he is tired of life

believe or not he's actually looking a bit better under Corberán (I know a low bar) and has made two class point saving saves in 3 games now. We are at that stage that was like when Wagner first arrived - a radical improvement in performances, but the same lack of goals and generally poor results!

It would've tickled my dad for Everton to have a 'keeper whose name is nearly Joe Loss. (I've spent five fruitless minutes searching for any evidence of Wally Poole's Number One Band, Birkenhead's answer to Joe Loss, but I think it was another of the old fella's inventions).

tbh we conceded 50 odd goals in 33 games with Lossl, but erm... just naked Rothman book stats never tell the full story!

if Lossl is Joe Loss then that makes Pickford the leader of Terry Wogan's house band

I was so sad that Jerry Quy aka our famous & loyal mascot @Gunnersaurus and integral part of our club was being made redundant after 27 years. As such, I’m offering to reimburse @Arsenal with the full salary of our big green guy as long as I will be an Arsenal player... pic.twitter.com/IfWN38x62z

— Mesut Özil (@MesutOzil1088) October 6, 2020

The plot thickens

Noooo Gunnersaurus he'll abuse you just to chase after Gulen!

When he says "as long as I will be an Arsenal player" is he saying "I'll continue to do this for the rest of my days at the club" or "I'll only do this if you let me stay at the club"?

I think it's a job application

itt: pictures of dinosaurs gazing haplessly at the arriving mesut

I can't stop watching this

In this video you can see Shaw completely ignore the front post and hear de Gea shout “No, Luke! No, Luke! No, Luke! No!” just before we concede.

[Video Credit: @afcamaru]pic.twitter.com/Q8HpfBa4AX

— UtdArena (@utdarena) October 6, 2020

need Big Sam to get in there

De Gea sounds like he's watching his family get slaughtered there

Sir Haircut...yhank you

Arsenal fan Keir Starmer hits out at club over Gunnersaurus redundancy https://t.co/ikJ0dEmXBE

— Evening Standard (@standardnews) October 7, 2020

Club-to-club agreement for Said Benrahma to join West Ham from Brentford. £30m inc add-ons. Medical likely Weds after int’l duty. Per @JacobSteinberg personal terms still to be done, @SkySportsLyall 1st w/ info last night #WHUFC #BrentfordFC @TheAthleticUK https://t.co/gG4TVCZ9Wt

— David Ornstein (@David_Ornstein) October 11, 2020

Oh noes the Boggies are gonna struggle

nothing will make peasants' revolt 2 electric boogaloo more likely than project big picture

I'm not sure I get the outrage about Project Big Picture aside from the special privs for the 9 clubs, which I assume they put in there as an obviously outrageous thing they could compromise away? I suppose I should care about the League Cup? I think I quite like the idea of the end of parachute payments, I definitely like the idea of TV monies being shared (albeit unevenly) across the 92.

I guess the fans angriest about this are the ones who see their club's potential ascent to the Premiership compromised. The entire Championship are up in arms

Poor darlings.

Narrowing the financial chasm between the premier league and the EFL seems (on the face of it) pretty good, particularly if the EFL teams can get their act together in terms of salary caps and so on*. I mean, overall the proposals are probably bad but what we have now is terrible.

*yes I know, totally unrealistic, poor darlings

anybody who doesn't think that the Big *INSERT NUMBER HERE DEPENDING ON LAST COUPLE OF SEASONS* Clubs should be in charge of professional football in the UK might have some concerns about this bullshit