Alone in the Park - it's the Prem 2020-21 thread

i was on the road today and completely missed Liverpool.

are Aston Villa gonna be a top table team? 3-0 already.

Gunnersaurus out.

i was on the road today and completely missed Liverpool.

are Aston Villa gonna be a top table team? 3-0 already.

Don't look back you can never look back

Gunnersaurus thing is ridiculous

We will miss you... The club has let u down.... You will be forever in our hearts pic.twitter.com/efTHPhnTiT

— Achal Patel (@achal24296) October 5, 2020

😢

caveman-wielding-a-small-club mentality

Pls @jeremycorbyn can you save Gunnersaurus

— Congolesa Rice (@judeinlondon2) October 5, 2020

Enjoy, Dee!

Will anyone ever actually sign Said Benrahma? Envisaging him repeatedly pricing himself further out of anyone's budget with an escalating series of wondergoals

He's been linked with Palace and he'd improve them but that also seems kind of enh

Manchester United are now in advanced talks to sign Amad Traoré [2002 top talent] from Atalanta on a permanent deal! Deal collapsed with Parma (after announcement) and Man Utd in talks.
Work permit still pending, deal to be completed now or on next January. 🔴 #MUFC #DeadlineDay

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) October 5, 2020

I don't know who he is, but he will save us

...in January

ffs

Not sure an 18-year old winger, even a prodigiously talented one, is really what you need right now.

hard to say though what they do

a really good centre-back might be a start though

Idly wondering if Southgate is enjoying going into the international break with his first choice CB pairing having conceded 13 goals between them yesterday.

the crown has passed to mings and dier

mings should be in the side regardless tbh, he is as the kids say 'levels'

no i am not a villa fan now. merely a new sympathiser. as are half the kids in the playground today

swapsies john mcginn for my kevin de bruyne

Fuck a mascot and all that but also fuck any club making a mascot redundant to save money when they're still buying £20-30m players.
Like furlough the guy until the fans are back. It'll cost a few thousand a year - less than any first team player gets a week.

still paying Ozil 350k a week to do nothing

Exactly, he can wear the dinosaur suit.

consternation amongst the junior fans as Gunnersaurus goes missing for several games at a time

Gunnersaurus and Erdogan suddenly BFF's

Hahaha

footcelsiors all round

after Sarr now apparently

panic button well and truly pressed

A propos of nothing, of all the shit that's happened in football post-Covid, I'm not sure anything has weirded me out more than Ashley Young being capable of growing hair all along

Beginning to worry about the total lack of any evidence that Werder Bremen winger Milot Rashica is being teleported to Bodymoor Heath for a medical with a view to becoming part of the most cataclysmically devastating front four in the Western hemisphere

What a shit week

as i've already implied, it's the luiz/mcginn double pivot that really gets me. how did that almost get relegated

McGinn was badly injured most of the season and wasn't really back to his best til last couple of games this season, Luiz took a long time to settle and figure out how much time he does/doesn't have on the ball at this level - his appearing to figure it out post lockdown was a big contributing factor to us staying up imo

sorry Biscuits

Bild expect Milot Rashica’s move from Werder Bremen to Bayer Leverkusen to be announced shortly. #SVW #B04 #AVFC

— Ronan Murphy (@swearimnotpaul) October 5, 2020

All this talk about United's defence needing improvemt but only Liverpool (33) and city (35) conceded less goals than United (36) in the league last season...
Morgan

I mean, he's got a point. Lot of fuss about nothing really

Hearing reports that Bayer Leverkusen's director of football dropped the paperwork for Rashica down a drain at 17:59 local time, and that Rashica himself subsequently turned out to be a child sitting on another child's shoulders wearing a big coat

Sky Sports Germany now reporting that the children were not in fact wearing a coat of any kind

It's alright lads, we've signed another winger no one's heard of

OFICIAL| @FPellistri07 nuevo jugador de @ManUtd por 5 temporadas. El equipo inglés pagó la cláusula de rescisión y en este momento @OficialCAP está subiendo la documentación internacional. Muchos éxitos!

OFFICIAL | Fellistri new player of @ManUtd for 5 seasons. Good luck!! pic.twitter.com/tv2qYbfegF

— Sebas Giovanelli (@SebasGiovanelli) October 5, 2020

a winger! that'll do it

we actually do need one. Haven't had a recognised right-winger in the squad in like seven years

it's probably not this lad though

I am told that West Ham have reached an agreement to cancel Jack Wilshere's contract by mutual consent #whufc

— Jacob Steinberg (@JacobSteinberg) October 5, 2020

hope Ed Woodward's watching Twitter

Kevin Mirallas has signed for the Turkish side Gaziantep, who initially announced it on Twitter using a picture of Morgan Schneiderlin.

They've now given him some baklava with 'Happy Birthday' written on it.

Traore has apparently signed for €40m, to join in January when his work permit is in place.

aiui, he has played 24 minutes of senior football.

it's €20m + €20m in add-ons

apparently we've been scouting him for years and Atalanta's academy is meant to be the best in Italy at the moment

but it's a little bit weird alright

Cavani official now too. Been given the #7 shirt so he's fucked

Apparently Eric-Maxim Choupo-Moting has never once commanded a transfer fee? That's kind of astonishing for someone who's played for seven clubs and has Schalke, PSG and now Bayern on their CV.

and

I noticed Everton were understandably being linked with quite a few goalkeepers earlier. WTF has Lossl ever done wrong for them? Pickford should be cleaning his boots and he should have been given a run in the team. He's a class act.

well you used the word 'understandably'!

well only "understandably" because their last two managers seem to be (despite whatever other talents they apparently possess) myopic clueless cunts who don't seem to comprehend how shit Pick-me-ford is.

but now understandably they can send their "dud" back to us on loan

when a man is tired of ben hamer he is tired of life