"Will you shut up, man?" US Politics October 2020

I mean:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9Kp_eHMQ7s

2xp

"They are rapidly approaching symptom-free but will never reach it"

This is fucking world class ILX-ing, DJP. My respects.

okay so I turned on the news and yes people are very much wondering where the President is right now

The president's symptoms are said to include a cough, nasal congestion, low-grade fever https://t.co/gCS9KKn9Us

— Maggie Haberman (@maggieNYT) October 2, 2020

Trump's absence from the governor's call is sure to raise questions, however, about whether he will be able to carry out his usual duties without issue.

WHAT FUCKING "USUAL DUTIES"? All he does is sit on the can and tweet stuff he sees on Fox News. OK, to be fair, he seems to not be doing that today, so I guess he's not carrying out his usual duties.

When he kicks the bucket people are going to look at those unused rally tickets like people looked at Skynyrd tickets after the plane crash.

I turned on the news and yes people are very much wondering where the President is right now

are those the same 'yes people' he regularly hires to lick his, uh, how about we say boots?

said to include

good old maggie dutifully acting as the unfiltered conduit for whatever the administration says, because what else does a reporter do but parrot news releases?

yeah it was surreal watching CNN people freaking out about how the government is going to continue to function as though it was fucking functioning at all in the first place. two weeks ago Trump said at a press conference that he watched 9 hours of TV last night

Ronny Jackson's tweet certainly doesn't align with other reports of him absolutely having symptoms.

I really kind of want to hurl when I imagine Trump with nasal congestion. You know he's one of those guys who can't be bothered to actually go get a tissue and blow his nose, he just sits there looking glum and occasionally making NOISES

this is how you do it

My statement on Trump’s COVID-19 positive diagnosis: pic.twitter.com/03VF1oGF8a

— Rep. Ilhan Omar (@Ilhan) October 2, 2020

well so much for the sympathy angle

Chris Wallace just said on Fox that Trump arrived too late in Cleveland to have been tested by the clinic and that there was an "honor system" for the candidates to have arrived after already testing negative. pic.twitter.com/8jGZGWJjPT

— Andrew Kirell (@AndrewKirell) October 2, 2020

it's absolutely gonna come out that they new he was positive during the debate

I just want to point out that "duties" is a typo, it's supposed to be "doodies"

I'm disappointed that this news couldn't have come out on another day, one when I wasn't having a profoundly shitty day for so many other reasons. I wish I could be enjoying this more.

polyclonal antibodies sounds fancy

I just want to point out that "duties" is a typo, it's supposed to be "doodies"

He doesn't carry them out, though, he has people for that

Kudlow: LPrez has “very moderate case”

That's louder than 'mild,' innit?

extremely moderate right down the middle the most normal case possible

Be that as it may, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to trust what these snakes and their handlers have to say on this and everything else.

Friend who works with Scaramuci said that Mooch spoke with Hicks this morning.

She said that Trump showed symptoms before her, and that she's being used as a scapegoat

— (((ben))) 🏳️‍🌈 (@BenResists) October 2, 2020

uncollaborated but the Mooch is the only straight shooter in that entire orbit so I'd believe him

I don't think people think Hicks infected Trump, I thought the running assumption based on time of onset was someone else infected them both (for some reason I'm inclined to go with Father Jenkins)

Look, is he symptomic or asymptomic?!?

theres def a super spreader in their orbit

He's symphonic.

Per @PressSec, @realDonaldTrump has received an experimental COVID treatment that is still in trials and not available to most Americans. pic.twitter.com/StTnM1KeIK

— Andrew Feinberg (@AndrewFeinberg) October 2, 2020

wait a second why are they using experimental treatments on him

Hopefully the treatment is submerging him in a vat of clorox.

I'm cool with using Donnie as a guinea pig tbh.

I wrote a little bit here about the race for monoclonal antibodies -- like the one Trump is now receiving: https://t.co/JKwHE6krZH

— Paul Sonne (@PaulSonne) October 2, 2020

a vote for Clorox

goddammit Brocc

I prefer the polyclonal with a splash of bitter and lemon zest.

custos?

The experimental treatment is prayer, they've been working on that one for a while.

But it only works in conjunction with thoughts.

Well then they're fucked.

This is so awesome

very "normal" where experimental treatment is only available for the worst person alive who is also president

honestly I didn't know how I'd react with this kind of news and apparently the answer is pure joy

His presidency was designed as an experiment from the very start.

Paul Sonne
@PaulSonne
I wrote a little bit here about the race for monoclonal antibodies -- like the one Trump is now receiving

THEY'RE CLONING TRUMP?!?!?!?!

NEW: White House doctor confirms that President Trump is being treated with an 8 gram dose of Regeneron's polyclonal antibody cocktail as well as a series of vitamins. Says he's "fatigued but in good spirits." pic.twitter.com/3iLyq3DYXj

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) October 2, 2020

BREAKING: Ghost of Herman Cain heard wandering the West Wing halls, emitting a mournful belly laugh and singing "Waltzing Mathilda"

so like is this the end of his campaign? like wtf do you do from this point. he's not gonna be better in 2 weeks is he?

BREAKING: Ghost of Herman Cain heard wandering the West Wing halls, waving Godfather's pizza laced with COVID under President's nose.

fucking lmao

https://i.imgur.com/AssQf4i.jpg

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/cartoonwildtakes/images/1/12/MV5BOWU3ODY0NGItYjMxMC00MzVlLWE5MjEtNGYxZWNmOTE3NThjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzMwOTY2NTI%40._V1_.jpg

Biden's delivering the most emphatically pro-union speech I've heard from a Dem candidate in years.

just like with his fucking tax returns, if asshole was doing okay and in good spirits it'd be easy enough for him to post an image of himself with a thumbs up or a short message to his fans or whatever. but he hasn't, so he isn't.

I honestly haven't enjoyed following a news story this much since they took BoJohnson into intensive care. Here's hoping this one ends better than that did (i.e. with the subject's painful and humiliating demise)!

imagine being on the tail end of that guy's open hospital gown.

Biden actually giving a pretty good speech right now