"Will you shut up, man?" US Politics October 2020

I think we started to and then they all got hit by the plague bat

We live in a timeline where it's only like the 50th most notable story in the news cycle right now.

I'm beginning to wonder whether someone other than Trump tweeted the announcement maybe because Trump himself was in no condition to do so.

Melania's rant was posted somewhere yesterday afternoon, but has since been swallowed by other conversational interests.

if there's no word or sign of him throughout the weekend, assume the best.

I like the way you think.

2xp

I mean the text of the tweet itself was clearly not him

Relevant:

TIL the opposite of doomscrolling is schadensurfing

— N’Gai Croal (@ncroal) October 2, 2020

The announcement tweet was much more grammatically and syntactically subdued than anything Trump would write on his own. More like an official communique.

If it was genuine, it's be: "Do-Nothing Democrats and CNN might be Pleased to find out that Melania and I have the loser Chinese Virus, but they won't hear it from me! The Wall is almost finished, MAGA!"

I know people hate this genre of statement but it does make me happy to know that this is almost certainly the worst week of Trump's life. get exposed as a broke tax cheat, completely bomb a debate performance, "accidentally" make a nod to the Nazis AGAIN, have tapes of your wife saying nasty shit, then the both of you contract the deadly disease that you've been handwaving away for months? and it's only Friday??!?

There was a statement from Meadows that something about how "we" decided to release a statement. So.

So, tomorrow he has a catastrophic anal prolapse?

I've never felt more rayliottalaughing.gif than I do today

‘catastrophic’

Comforting when your doctor doesn't know how to spell "comorbidities." https://t.co/pjQneIhCvs

— James Surowiecki (@JamesSurowiecki) October 2, 2020

"mild symptoms" = coughing blood, uncontrollably weeping

BREAKING UPDATE — Trump has notified FOX35 that he won’t hold a Rally tonight https://t.co/3OR8DEfPi8

— FJ News Reporter (@FJNewsReporter) October 2, 2020

not even doing a virtual rally

there's a nonzero chance he's dead

xpost "Asymptotic" as well.

guys I think the pivot is finally happening

The pivot to death?

You can be asymptotic and symptomatic at the same time.

xps

They are rapidly approaching symptom-free but will never reach it

the pivot to Infrastructure Week

Was Ronny Jackson the Dr. Feelgood that was handing out pills like Sweetarts?

Apologies if this was already posted:

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/519360-pence-subbed-in-for-trump-on-call-with-governors-after-presidents

A mild no-show.

I don't know if my brain can handle anymore dopamine today.

any more

Isn't Pence the task force leader anyway?

I don't know if my brain can handle anymore dopamine today.

― Quiet Storm Thorgerson (PBKR), Friday, October 2, 2020 3:54 PM (two minutes ago)

https://thehill.com/homenews/media/519387-fox-news-anchors-executives-to-be-tested-after-potential-covid-19-exposure-at

Guys, I just realized that Trump's insistence on presenting physically as a horrific, shambling mockery of a human being has been strategic all along, allowing for his staff to hastily assemble a crude dummy from whatever leftovers happen to be floating around the WH at a given time (a hefty quantity of ham topped with a fistful of bean sprouts, for example), stuff it in an ill-fitting suit, and wheel it before an unsuspecting public that's used to seeing a president that's made of day-old meat products. The untrained eye might never penetrate the charade.

there's a nonzero chance he's dead

― frogbs, Friday, October 2, 2020 3:41 PM (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Can you die of covid within one day?

If he had a heart attack or something, sure.

You can die of anything within a day.

Giuliani negative. You can't have 'em all.

We can be certain that somewhere in DC and various other power centers, hundreds of Republican power brokers and consultants, broken into smaller working groups, are grimly war-gaming a couple dozen scenarios to discover how this all can be managed in such a way as to ensure their continuation in power.

What the hell? https://t.co/zPdOa51OSp

— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) October 2, 2020

"Giulian Negative" sounds like a diagnosis itself. Like, "I got real drunk at a party last month and slept with someone I shouldn't have, so thank God I just found out I am Giuliani negative."

Can you die of covid within one day?

if anyone could I would venture to say it's a man who believes exercise drains the body's finite energy stores

So Randy Jackson is former WH physician... but it seems they've deputized him as a spin doctor.

I mean:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9Kp_eHMQ7s

2xp

"They are rapidly approaching symptom-free but will never reach it"

This is fucking world class ILX-ing, DJP. My respects.

okay so I turned on the news and yes people are very much wondering where the President is right now

The president's symptoms are said to include a cough, nasal congestion, low-grade fever https://t.co/gCS9KKn9Us

— Maggie Haberman (@maggieNYT) October 2, 2020

Trump's absence from the governor's call is sure to raise questions, however, about whether he will be able to carry out his usual duties without issue.

WHAT FUCKING "USUAL DUTIES"? All he does is sit on the can and tweet stuff he sees on Fox News. OK, to be fair, he seems to not be doing that today, so I guess he's not carrying out his usual duties.

When he kicks the bucket people are going to look at those unused rally tickets like people looked at Skynyrd tickets after the plane crash.

I turned on the news and yes people are very much wondering where the President is right now

are those the same 'yes people' he regularly hires to lick his, uh, how about we say boots?

said to include

good old maggie dutifully acting as the unfiltered conduit for whatever the administration says, because what else does a reporter do but parrot news releases?

yeah it was surreal watching CNN people freaking out about how the government is going to continue to function as though it was fucking functioning at all in the first place. two weeks ago Trump said at a press conference that he watched 9 hours of TV last night

Ronny Jackson's tweet certainly doesn't align with other reports of him absolutely having symptoms.

I really kind of want to hurl when I imagine Trump with nasal congestion. You know he's one of those guys who can't be bothered to actually go get a tissue and blow his nose, he just sits there looking glum and occasionally making NOISES