"Will you shut up, man?" US Politics October 2020

Negative, I’m afraid.

Ah, well. But I hear there are plenty of false negatives, and any one negative test is unreliable.

Boris is like Usain Bolt compared to Trump.

Meanwhile, Florida!

Wow. Look at these returned vote by mail numbers in Florida. @FlaDems +91,340 vote advantage.

DEM: 184,552 (7.6% return rate)
GOP: 93,212 (5.6%)
N/3/I: 64,119

Total: 341,877

In 2016, this far out from E-Day, GOP held +1,304 advantage with only 7,487 mail ballots returned.

— Kevin Cate (@KevinCate) October 2, 2020

awesome

Let me point out: Miami-Dade and Broward haven't voted yet. So.

with this many ballots already cast it's gonna be fucked up if Trump actually died from this

not bad, just fucked up

More positive tests in the White House. Details to come

— Frida Ghitis (@FridaGhitis) October 2, 2020

with this many ballots already cast it's gonna be fucked up if Trump actually died

there is no time left for ballots to be reprinted. should trump die or withdraw all votes cast for trump-pence would be assigned to whatever substitute ticket the Republicans might designate. this is the only solution that even approximates an orderly process.

"We've replaced Donald Trump with... Hillary Clinton"

b/c the Republicans care so much about an orderly process, yes yes

Aimless you might be right, but that seems kinda fucked up. wouldn’t there be a metric assload of maga chuds who’d rather go vegan than vote Romney?

i'm pretty sure that process for dealing with last-minute death or withdrawal of a candidate is codified in various state election laws. plus, since a dead man can't be president, the Republicans have a vested interest in still having a shot at winning, so they would be quite happy that such a process exists.

have to figure the national party would nominate Ivanka, to keep the name. and start madly spinning out propaganda that while she may have been out of the spotlight, she's JUST as much of an egomaniacal racist lib-owning piece of shit asshole who built a great company and will build the wall and make America great again

At the rate we are going, I wouldn't be shocked if Trump fully recovered and then said having antibodies made him a better candidate, because Biden was too at risk of catching covid.

the best antibodies!

xxxpost afaict, the party convention would reconvene and select a name. electors won by Trump/Pence would be encouraged to vote for that person (hard to imagine many of them bailing).

there's a chance this tanks his Supreme Court nomination, right? like we don't know who all has it but it would be nuts for the Senate to convene right now

Has it been noted that supposedly Trump has gone 12 hours without tweeting? Usually that only happens when he is traveling overseas, but apparently you also go silent while you are traveling the River Styx.

yeah that got noted upthread but not sure if it's in this one or TRUMP HAS COVID

i'm really looking forward to hearing trump promoting the idea of herd immunity after this

Do they make ventilators that will accommodate someone of his... size?

FFS

I keep humming "Who's Got The Crack?" to myself only it's "Who's Got The COVID?" and then I think "TRUMP" and smile

Do they make ventilators that will accommodate someone of his... size?

This is an extremely odd question, ventilators aren't pants

i'm really looking forward to hearing trump promoting the idea of herd immunity after this

― idkwtf (Karl Malone), Friday, October 2, 2020 1:55 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

Um, I believe it's called 'herd mentality'.

i guess i shouldn't count my eggs before they're hatched, but i'd have to hope that perhaps the trump admin will take this more seriously now. if so, it perfectly fits into the longstanding tradition of conservatives never expressing belief or support about anything they don't like until it directly happens to them (see: children coming out as gay to conservatives, who then suddenly find the courage to stop expressing constant hatred toward the LGBTQ+ community)

breaking: Trump has died.
cause of death: couldn't find ventilator that wold fit Trump

wold!

buried in a piano box

Someone needs to bump Shakey's apposite thread.

that's totally otm, I do think this will cause some conservatives to take this more seriously, plus all those cancelled rallies are going to directly correlate to lives saved, if you believe all lives matter it's absolutely a good thing he's got the 'rona

he had the biggest covid

xxpost When I woke up this morning to 'TRUMP GOT COVID' I was genuinely expecting to find a 'Not really.' from shakes upon clicking through. Sad!

can't tell you how giddy I was creating that thread for all y'all to wake up to

I'd never do that to you

Thank you for your service. And the caps – it just wouldn't have been the same without them.

I was just about to go to bed and randomly decided to check Twitter one last time, put on CNN and bam there it was

struggled for a few minutes to decide whether or not to wake up my wife, and I decided I had to...she's been waiting too long for this day. I mean in retrospect it's a damn miracle he didn't catch it sooner

Trump hasn't tweeted in 12 hours. Notably neither have I because I got suspended for the day for telling him to die.

He's actually up to 14 hours now.

i woke up my partner when i went to bed, around 1:30 last night. i couldn't help it. how often do you get to wake up someone you love and say that someone's severely ill, and it's immediately understood to be the best news

He's actually up to 14 hours now.

ok so my newest theory is he's already dead

I really wonder what this quarantine is like. I can't imagine choad willingly not tweeting through this. He's either sicker than they are saying, or they took his phone away from him in the interest of national security.

Did even his ghost-tweeters catch the 'ronus?

my newest theory is he's already dead

When FOX News puts up a static screen showing a picture of the White House and plays somber music for hours on end, we'll know.

seemed like a Pynchon set piece, but "Senator Mike Crapo" just seals the deal.

lol

" a disease whose impact ranges unpredictably from no symptoms at all to rapid death, according to experts and research."

sounds good. keep me posted.

lol

rather go vegan than vote Romney?

lol

I guess he was supposed to be on some call 12:30 or something, but they replaced him with Pence? My wife's theory is that he is just napping, which is not a bad theory.

She woke me up with the news. I've kind of been happy all day in a way I haven't been in a week or so, I honestly wonder if that's what's doing it.

we won't officially know until the pearl-clutching about the massive weeklong global party that spontaneously erupts upon news of his death

xp

What this whole experience has taught me is that you should, in fact, count your chickens before they're hatched. It's wayyy more fun than the alternative.

When he dies a whole lot of flags will be at full mast, if you get my drift.

boners