What Can't You Find On The Internet?

so, the chorus of this song, where they go "merry Christmas, he gunned his family down....." -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP2YV8OfAWs

the sing-songy melody is the same melody I used to hear during those stupid birthday songs at restaurants - "happy happy birthday/from the Chili's crew", etc. but like...I sincerely doubt that's where Macabre got it from, esp not for a Christmas song.

so am trying to figure out where that melody originated from, and failing big time. did it really originate as an alternative birthday song melody or did (as I suspect) a buncha chains ripoff another public domain melody and I just can't figure out what the fuck it is?

wait. are you absolutely sure there is a melody in there?

lol briefly, yes, in between the shrieks

also i was excited that i had answer :((((((((((

geir up in here

lol

it's right on the the tip of my tongue though...I feel like I recognize it from a kids' song along the lines of "On Top Of Spaghetti"...the last part I'm hearing with the set-up lyric "And this is what he said—"

like a silly growing-litany song

This is almost certainly not it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYgOlqinH7A

What I’m thinking of is one of those songs the joke of which is the repetition of that short, insidious melody...like it keeps implying a resolution but just goes over and over like that with wackier developments in each verse

Hadrian, I know this one from a cassette called Wee Sing Silly Songs, where it's a song about a guy with long whiskers:

Oh, they're always in the way
The cows eat them for hay
They hide the dirt on Daddy's shirt,
They're always in the way

... but I think it's also used, yeah, for schoolyard rhymes where just when it seems like it would be about to turn into a swear, the next word opens up a new stanza....

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Susie#:~:text=%22Miss%20Susie%20had%20a%20steamboat,an%20innocuous%20word%20or%20phrase.

That’s it!!!

:D

aaarrgh but it’s not though! I just listened again to Neanderthal’s song...but it’s exactly in that neighborhood

isn't it just "99 bottles of beer" ?

Similar but rhythmically different.

to me sounds like a melodically flattened variant of 'The Noble Duke of York':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzV5zDnK3G4

*it sounds

Wow it does!

That's not the "proper" tune to the Grand Old Duke Of York though ... sounds like it's been given the same treatment as Neanderthal's original tune!
sounds most similar to 99 bottles of beer to me, rhythm differences notwithstanding.

i think it matches one of the several tunes of "i had a little turtle" actually

https://youtu.be/FedGgBn9giM

... which is described as the same as "miss Lucy had a baby" or the susie steamboat one... as you were.

the johnsons had a baby
his name was tiny tim
they put him in the bathtub
to see if he could swim
he drank up all the water
he ate up all the soap
and now the johnson baby's
learnin the belly-float
he floated down the river
he floated down the lake
and now the johnson baby's
got a belly ache
i woke up sunday mornin
i looked upon the wall
the spiders and the bedbugs
were havin a game of ball
the score was 1 to nothin
the spiders were ahead
the bedbugs hit a home run
and knocked me out of bed

a lot of these mentioned so far are more like chants than melodies, or what sometimes gets called 'sing-song'

I mean, they all have as much melody as the "merry Christmas, he gunned his family down" thing we're trying to match, right?

I think it's true that they all share a certain DNA with "99 Bottles of Beer." None of them are quite the same "tune" or the same rhythm, but if your band was playing "99 Bottles," and everybody but the bassist switched to "Father's Whiskers," "Miss Susie," "Noble Duke of York," or the "Holidays of Horror" refrain, the bassist wouldn't have to change a thing.

ha, the Wee Sing Silly Songs cassette I grew up with actually introduces "Father's Whiskers" by asking "Do you know the tune, '99 Bottles of Pop'?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbE1BdBixLk

@ 9:42

This is reminding me of Tuomas

Call for assistance that can probably only be answered by UK ilxors of a certain age. I have very vague memories of a spoof of Whitney's massively overblown 1988 Olympic anthem "One Moment In Time" which had lyrics, of course, about performance enhancing drugs. The chorus was something like "one shot up the bum", and was possibly on a Christmas special by someone my parents were likely to watch (so Hale & Pace, French & Saunders, Lenny Henry etc, rather than Russ Abbott or Little & Large). Should be easy to find, right?

I don't know it, I've tried my google-fu but it has failed :(

yep mine too, thanks for looking though

my old AOL emails

I went and googled a number of my old 90s email addresses yesterday to see if anything would turn up. Thankfully nothing did.

Anyone want to help me find a comic strip from an alternative weekly paper from 15-20 years ago? It was by a female author, someone like Nina Paley (yes, the now-terf Nina Paley, sorry), but I didn't find it on her apparently very well-catalogued website. Here is the basic premise, as I remember it:

Panel one: A man and a woman are eating food. The man says something like "Imagine how good this would taste on weed!"

Panel two: The man and woman are watching a movie. The man says "imagine how awesome it would be to watch this on weed!"

Panel three: They are having sex. The man says "imagine how good this would feel on weed!"

Panel four: I don't remember, but it implies that the woman dumped the man.

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure your retelling has got to be twice as funny as the original.

i forget, what's ilx's most relevant thread for Qanon?

also, there are like 46 Q and not U threads on here

One thing I've not found is a video of the Google pixel 3 demo / screensaver thing that was running on the phones in shops. Was a ball or two rolling down a track. Not sure whether it was video or rendered in real time.

Some years back, Skot (I think) shared a fantastic YT video of amateur footage taken at a 1960s American high school concert featuring a super charming garage band among others, singer kinda looked like David Byrne, anyone recall this?

is there a website where you can input chords and then it will play said chords?

I'm trying hooktheory but I'm looking for something much simpler.

(also my free trial ran out rather quickly... 90secs lol)

"Would you like to try Hulu? Enjoy your 45 second free trial - watch the opening credits of your favorite television show!"

is there a website where you can input chords and then it will play said chords?

this seems to work pretty well: https://www.apronus.com/music/onlineguitar.htm

Thank you my dear burrito.

not 100% sure this wasn’t from a dream but

I saw an Instagram ad recently for these tiny pants that you use to glove your index and middle finger while preparing food... like teeny raw denim, corduroys, tan chinos... did I dream this?

i don’t have any idea what you’re talking about

it’s impossible to google

impossible and upsetting

this is the most annoying product I’ve ever seen

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41LIOcFYb9L._AC_.jpg

I know about finger cots, but those are latex.

couldn't remember what this was from/called last week, and then this morning I remembered

https://i.imgur.com/yL6Tmci.jpg