New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11 https://t.co/SXZwp3tkxe pic.twitter.com/QJjHj6KGRr— The Onion (@TheOnion) September 8, 2020
― calzino, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 18:43 (four years ago) link
That's a classic.
― Spencer Chow, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 18:54 (four years ago) link
omg
― kinder, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 20:01 (four years ago) link
one of their best
― Number None, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 20:23 (four years ago) link
Right up there with:
Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friendhttps://www.theonion.com/horrified-subway-execs-assumed-people-were-buying-footl-1819595719
― Spencer Chow, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 20:42 (four years ago) link
and of course:https://www.theonion.com/frustrated-subway-marketers-scrap-150-million-jeffrey-1836215976
― Spencer Chow, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 20:43 (four years ago) link
i think theres just something inherently funny about subway. i cant explain it.
― methinks dababy doth bop shit too much (m bison), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 21:25 (four years ago) link
Did the 9/11 one originally have Jared?
― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 21:33 (four years ago) link
no it was always that dude
― Number None, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 22:24 (four years ago) link
There are amazing Jared posts like this one DATED MAY 2017https://www.theonion.com/subway-drops-jared-fogle-as-spokesperson-1819579883
― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 9 September 2020 19:52 (four years ago) link
and:https://www.theonion.com/no-one-in-prison-sure-how-jared-fogle-still-eating-subw-1825829806
Stephen Miller Enraged After Discovering Cantaloupe He’s Fucking From Mexico https://t.co/9IUvSBGQ76 pic.twitter.com/mkCAeBx4EN— The Onion (@TheOnion) September 17, 2020
― error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 17 September 2020 22:19 (four years ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/rudy-giuliani-tests-positive-for-slew-of-obscure-bat-di-1845255014
― StanM, Friday, 2 October 2020 21:08 (three years ago) link
lmao
https://www.theonion.com/newly-elected-qanon-congresswoman-worried-she-selling-o-1845574440
― frogbs, Wednesday, 4 November 2020 20:09 (three years ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/d-c-police-lose-control-of-rioting-trump-supporters-af-1846002738
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:33 (three years ago) link
Serbia Deploys Peacekeeping Forces To U.S. https://t.co/9OrohtoKAu pic.twitter.com/3oXoTfLbIE— The Onion (@TheOnion) January 6, 2021
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:52 (three years ago) link
🐦[Serbia Deploys Peacekeeping Forces To U.S. https://t.co/9OrohtoKAu🕸 pic.twitter.com/3oXoTfLbIE🕸— The Onion (@TheOnion) January 6, 2021🕸]🐦
― Boring United Methodist Church (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 23:44 (three years ago) link
Lol. because I was working there back then!
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 6 January 2021 23:52 (three years ago) link
jfc these folks do not pull any punches
Sympathetic Police Know What It’s Like To Have A Bad Day And Kill 8 People https://t.co/O6MCzgA4Ii pic.twitter.com/agbbcv3S1h— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 17, 2021
Atlanta Police Rule Out Mass Shooting As Cause Of Death After Suspect Says He Didn’t Shoot Anyone https://t.co/0J5FzYSxtb pic.twitter.com/xTqhFme4eK— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 17, 2021
― frogbs, Wednesday, 17 March 2021 21:15 (three years ago) link
https://entertainment.theonion.com/bugs-bunny-explains-how-lebron-helped-him-get-sober-for-1834816124
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 9 April 2021 09:25 (three years ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/please-like-me-1848674003
― Critique of the Goth Programme (Neil S), Thursday, 24 March 2022 15:14 (two years ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/louisiana-police-officer-plants-aborted-fetus-on-black-1848892165
― StanM, Tuesday, 10 May 2022 03:19 (two years ago) link
Tearful Uvalde Residents Thank Police For Protecting Parking Lot From Gunman https://t.co/nngdJBrsN1 pic.twitter.com/t9ajmIhgmo— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 26, 2022
― frogbs, Thursday, 26 May 2022 20:46 (two years ago) link
they've been going hard lately
Texas Passes Mandatory 24-Hour Waiting Period Before Police Can Engage Active Shooters https://t.co/UVZeprK1vp pic.twitter.com/26vK7Ie4Pf— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 3, 2022
― frogbs, Saturday, 4 June 2022 04:03 (two years ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/unsettling-peta-ad-features-sobbing-burger-giving-man-b-1848956134
― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 11 June 2022 16:05 (two years ago) link
At the risk of outing myself as a snowflake who can't handle "edgy" humor: the new Kelly comic ('Pay Palm Bomb') is kinda gross & I'm not feeling it.
― Attached by piercing jewelry (bernard snowy), Thursday, 23 June 2022 12:20 (two years ago) link
Seemed rather benign to me?
― pplains, Thursday, 23 June 2022 13:09 (two years ago) link
I guess what's tasteless about it is the reference to the famous photo of Phan Thi Kim Phuc, even if it is "ironic"? It's say it's too offensive to be funny, but not offensive enough to be "offensive".
― Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 23 June 2022 14:04 (two years ago) link
lol fuck
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 23 June 2022 15:16 (two years ago) link
Ok, that went past me.
But now in context with Kelly's commentary in the corner, it is a little much.
― pplains, Thursday, 23 June 2022 15:22 (two years ago) link
stuff like this is what makes it so brilliant though, it's a reflection of the mindset that causes people to show up wearing yellow Stars of David to city council meetings to protest vaccination requirements
― frogbs, Thursday, 23 June 2022 15:23 (two years ago) link
Pay Palm... ok, ok.
why even draw the barrel then.
― pplains, Thursday, 23 June 2022 15:24 (two years ago) link
Kelly is another one of the Onion's self-deluded editorial characters. He's a bitter self-absorbed old fuck who's driven his family and friends away and treats everything that's even a slight inconvenience to him as if it's a major outrage.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 23 June 2022 15:31 (two years ago) link
if you're in the mood for livid sarcasm the homepage is pretty remarkable right now
― rob, Friday, 24 June 2022 20:15 (two years ago) link
Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Drive Slowly Alongside Woman Walking Home Alone At Night
6-4 actually, Kavanaugh voted twice.
― nickn, Friday, 24 June 2022 20:19 (two years ago) link
This is quite far down the page but oof
https://www.theonion.com/kavanaugh-thomas-champion-creating-better-future-for-n-1849106105
― Portrait Of A Dissolvi Ng Drea M (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 24 June 2022 20:33 (two years ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/dying-polar-bear-has-to-admit-owning-a-private-jet-woul-1849435124
― nickn, Tuesday, 20 September 2022 22:02 (two years ago) link
Oops, meant to post as a title:
Dying Polar Bear Has To Admit Owning A Private Jet Would Be Fucking Sick
― nickn, Tuesday, 20 September 2022 22:04 (two years ago) link
So, @TheOnion filed an amicus brief before the Supreme Court in defense of parody under the First Amendment… and it’s exactly what you’d expect. https://t.co/1JFfSqUJFA pic.twitter.com/efapgFF7dx— Anthony Michael Kreis (@AnthonyMKreis) October 3, 2022
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Monday, 3 October 2022 18:55 (one year ago) link
Brett Favre Makes Amends By Sending Photo Of His Penis To Every Mississippian On Welfare
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Monday, 3 October 2022 20:26 (one year ago) link
I feel like this is one headline that will keep coming up again and again:
Something Called ‘Guacamole Donut’ Burying News Of Dozens Of School Shootings https://t.co/TacilAGlyC pic.twitter.com/jUhmf2hRV9— The Onion (@TheOnion) October 26, 2022
― silverfish, Wednesday, 26 October 2022 17:24 (one year ago) link
The Onion > ClickHole. I said it, fite me. https://www.theonion.com/best-bios-from-the-conservatives-only-online-dating-sit-1849642523
― recovering internet addict/shitposter (viborg), Friday, 2 December 2022 06:04 (one year ago) link
I’m gonna go ahead and walk that back a lil bit.
It’s Women Of Color Visibility Month! And Even If It Isn’t, It Should Be, And Let’s Be Real, Are You Gonna Try To Argue It’s Not? https://t.co/mITLjGZEQa pic.twitter.com/SOkdExDIxf— The Onion (@TheOnion) December 1, 2022
― recovering internet addict/shitposter (viborg), Friday, 2 December 2022 06:41 (one year ago) link
No the second one is good, whereas the first is just more evidence that they're better the shorter they are, and it keeps going past the point where you think it might loop back around to good - but it never does.
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 2 December 2022 23:21 (one year ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997
― la vie wokisme (voodoo chili), Friday, 17 February 2023 20:18 (one year ago) link
Boiling the piss of the right people.
It’s a source of wonder to me that this guy once made a living out of writing comedy. Now he’s… this. Transphobia rots the brain, kids. pic.twitter.com/DHmSxABvoo— Paul Duane 🏳️⚧️ (@paulduanefilm) February 17, 2023
― Dan Worsley, Saturday, 18 February 2023 11:32 (one year ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/evangelical-leaders-announce-j-k-rowling-finally-bigot-1850129128
― Liz D. (Eliza D.), Tuesday, 21 February 2023 02:02 (one year ago) link
loll
― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 21 February 2023 02:47 (one year ago) link
A meme from somewhere that I saw on discord.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/886401332460793896/1081998660407136380/IMG_4542.png
― nickn, Monday, 6 March 2023 02:34 (one year ago) link
https://www.theonion.com/texas-bans-consensual-sex-1848631845
― StanM, Thursday, 27 April 2023 09:01 (one year ago) link