local businesses with horribly formed "names"

Québécois version:

https://media1.ledevoir.com/images_galerie/nwd_838049_666263/image.jpg

The Office québécois de la langue française has incidentally launched an investigation into it.

Apparently their menu features the 'Phô King Cochon' (fucking pig, but 'cochon' can also mean 'racy'), 'Phô King Deal', 'cock-tails', 'Flash Thé Saint' (i.e. 'flash tes seins', flash your tits), 'Lichi Mwa Lku' ('lèche-moi le cul', lick my ass) and the self-explanatory 'Pho Ktup'. SHOCKING!!!

Similarly there's a furniture retailer here in the east end of Glasgow called 'Sofa King'... "sofa king cheap" etc.

SNL did a whole bit on this: https://vimeo.com/207212097

also reminds me of the "hilarious" K-Mart 'ship your pants' commercials

Saw a van go past today from "The Waggin' Train" dog walking service.

on the Long Island Railroad a few weeks back I saw out the window a strip-mall tattoo place called Monsters Ink. the middle panel of their plastic sign was off the building, propped up on the edge of the parking lot, so it just read Monst Ink, and i imagined the owner getting a cease-and-desist letter from Pixar and thinking "aha, THIS'll get them off my back!" but maybe it was just a cheap sign that fell apart. apparently they are permanently closed so maybe it's just the ravages of time.

This might be more for a 'great names for businesses' thread but there is a van in my area bearing the legend 'I & I Carpentry'. I've not seen the driver yet; I'm desperate for it to be a dude in a tam.

'We'll look after your joints'.
'Under heavy spanners'.
'We work for (Yabby) You'.

I reckon quite a few of the names here over the years are brilliantly (and often simultaneously horribly) formed.

Mon stink!

Mon stink is great as a horribly formed French business

Not the name of the place but a local business had a sign for the last year with “ask about” on its own line but terrible kerning made it read “a ska bout” so I always pictured nerds with horns and pork pie hats engaging in fisticuffs

Lethal Injections tattoo parlor, Cambridge, MD.

jesus

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/aron-waltons-tattoo-studio-must-4705580

Nev er mind the fact he's a plonker, but what's with the name? Am I missing a clever pun of some sort?

Cross-post to the Freemen on the Land thread
"Mr Walton has presented arguments against lockdown which appear to be rooted in the “freeman on the land” conspiracy theory.

Its proponents say laws only apply to someone with their consent. No such argument has ever succeeded in court."

I don't think it's a pun btw

Except for the holy/holey pun.

'Holy skin' isn't a phrase afaik? (is it?) Can't say it's really bothered me before, though!

Not that I know of, but maybe they specialize in religious/new agey/etc work, and thought the "hole" aspect of tattooing was worth the stretch.

“I make holes in your skin”

maybe they do a lot of piercing? otherwise, I would not want to get a tattoo from a guy who said "yeah we'll put some holes in your skin"; seems like he may be missing the point.

local businesses causing horribly deformed skin

Meanwhile down in Penzaaaaaaaaaance...

https://www.spandauvalet.co.uk/

Nothing Bundt Cakes is already pretty drippy, but the logo looks like it says "butt cakes"

http://realmenuprices.com/wp-content/uploads/Nothing-Bundt-Cake.jpg

Especially from a distance, like on a sign

https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/024/521/484/small/bri-lashelle-bundt-cake-logo-concepts-06.jpg

That's one of the worst so far
"those really 'nothing' bundt cakes, meh"

The name is bad enough, but the logo looks like an actual turd.

They should really team up with these folks: local businesses with horribly formed "names"

The name is bad enough, but the logo looks like an actual turd.

― epistantophus, Tuesday, December 8, 2020 9:09 AM bookmarkflaglink

Nutty Butt Cakes

Dog groomers in airdrie called captain dugwash

:/

https://tableagent.s3.amazonaws.com/media/originals/2985_7575.jpg

Misread ar 'creepery'. Like, a place for creeps and creeping.

loooool that's amazing

There used to be a breakfast place in the Castro (SF) called Squat & Gobble too (its looong gone now)

The Bread Pitt ( bakery) here in Amsterdam

ahaha

The Holy Grill

Hm. That’s seems to be a common one.

is there a Grill Marcus

Grin and Bear Grylls DDS

it's defunct now but there used to be a videography/motion picture editing business around here called Edithead

woulda gone with Eraserhead but what do i know

There's an optometrist here called AccessorEyes, but I never felt it was horrible enough for this thread.

https://www.accessoreyesoptometry.net/uploads/4/1/5/1/41516421/6274419.jpg

You were wrong, it is :)

It didn't quite meet the level of the child's party violinist who went by "the Kiddy Fiddler."

http://www.sewitseams.uk.com/images/belfast_small.jpg

Sew it Seams

amazing!
I refuse to believe in 'the Kiddy Fiddler'

The post I responded to where I made that joke is a dead link now, but it was something on that line (though not as one-the-nose).

Intended to evoke Peyton Place, I guess, but instead conjures an image of Peyton Manning receiving a lap dance.

― Josefa, Tuesday, November 26, 2013 9:14 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

His brother looks cute on that billboard though.

― pplains, Tuesday, November 26, 2013 9:16 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

I don't know how anyone could ever feel comfortable leaving their kids at a daycare called Little Kiddies.

― Gumming The Fun Tunnel (Old Lunch), Tuesday, November 26, 2013 9:18 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

"Are you ready to hear some some violin music, children? Well let's have a round of applause for the Kiddie Fiddler!"

― nickn, Tuesday, November 26, 2013 9:41 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink