Mostly Apolitical Thread for Discussing/Venting our Rational/Irrational COVID-19 Fears and Experiences in 2020

Some swabbers are more aggressive than others. The first time for me was very gentle and I wondered what all the fuzz was about.

The second time it felt like the q-tip was trying to come out of my tear duct.

Sounds like a Pap test - it can be quick and easy and uncomfortable but not painful per se; when it’s careless and jabby it’s enough to make your eyes tear up.

For the test they did as part of the clinical trial, they used a flatter swab, but they left it in there for ten damn seconds.

My eyes watered

I had my first one last week because of symptoms and was surprised it was a self-swabber. "Insert about an inch and rotate 4x in each nostril" which made me sneeze. Negative results back the next morning and symptoms ended 3 days later.

Some swabbers are more aggressive than others.

There are two different types of (nasal) samples that can be taken, the nasopharyngeal (brain tickler) and the mid-turbinate (standard nasal swab). It's my understanding that the brain tickler was the go-to early on because it was considered more accurate but as lab testing has gotten better most places have felt confident enough to use the gentler standard nasal swab.

Research on the reason some people are worse affected than others:

https://theconversation.com/inflammation-the-key-factor-that-explains-vulnerability-to-severe-covid-144768

i had a (shitty) epiphany last night. up until last night, I'd managed to get myself to "extremely stressed, but finding ways to get by" for the last few months. last night swung me back into full-on depression. had to drag myself out of bed for work this morning. find myself unable to focus on anything.

ironically the trigger for this was something that was supposed to be a happy occasion. met up with a handful of old friends, socially distanced, for one of their birthdays. There was no joy to be had. the conversation was full of empty space as we couldn't think of things to say. none of us are 'living' anything resembling a fulfilled life, and when we thought of things to say, it was usually just sad recollections of what this year was supposed to be, and all of the things paralyzing us with fear. It was just sad to see what the political and pandemic climate has done to all of us.

then, one friend, when we finally get a private moment, confides in me that my ex from last year approached him and still misses me and wants to get back together. Like....this isn't the first time she's done this (she texted me the last time about it), and I've made unequivocally clear that I don't want to, to her directly. Nothing personal - but we aren't a good fit. Approaching another friend to try me again, NOW? do you really think I want to start a new relationship RIGHT NOW in the midst of a pandemic in which my emotions are wrecked, with someone I've already dated that I already know is a bad fit for me? it also wouldn't be wise from a COVID standpoint, but I don't even need that as an excuse. so being that one of the things that bugged me about her when we dated is her frequently using other friends as proxys to approach me about things she was afraid to ask me up front, or outright being aggro when she drinks, I'm just pretending I heard nothing.

my own mother is depressed because she's leaning on my brother and I for money, and nothing I say can assuage her that she need not worry about that. it's because of times in the past where I legitimately got upset with her over mismanaging money and relying on me and my brother to keep her afloat, often times when I didn't have much to spare. But things are different now. I am in a much better position and I can't possibly blame her for what the pandemic has done to her finances, and plus we think additional help is on the way via county-level rent payment services she has just applied for.

it's not even that I'm stressed with specific things. my best friends, I talk to on zoom or phone frequently, and that does bring me happiness. other friends, I keep up with on social media, but all it is , is a non-stop barrage of political or COVID-related messaging, over and over. so I'm stepping away from it for a week or so because I'm overloaded. I'm suffering with social comparison syndrome as well, especially regarding my reactions to various tragedies, where my emotions have just shut down to where I can't process them all at once or I fall to pieces, so I let in a little at a time.

ugh. i will shut up now. fuck.

I am looking up my old therapist today to see if she can do virtual sessions ongoing

Sorry Neanderthal. I'm not sure I have any advice, but I'm glad you are reaching out to your old therapist - that's been helpful for me.

She lives hours away but i think i can talk her into virtual sessions since we did a few that way when she still lived here. Hoping so. She was the only one who did anything besides just agree with me for an hour

hey Neanderthal, I took a month away from social media a while back and it helped improve my mood drastically— I'd been getting stuck in a neverending barrage of flat political messaging (even though I agreed with much of it!) and nihilistic memes.

I've had some similar experiences with certain friends recently, though not all. To be honest, the people who've spent the most time holed up have been the most difficult to interact with— there's not a lot to say to someone whose been working from home and watching movies for months while you've been bicycling, reading, and writing like mad. There are different reactions to what's been going on, and so I understand that people are processing everything in different ways, but it's hard to feel communion with people when there's such a vast gulf in experiences...even when those people are some of the people you care about most.

Anyway, sorry you're feeling poorly <3

I've been off Facebook for years now, but I've not managed to pull myself away from Twitter. No matter how carefully I attempt to massage my feed, the utter horror of America right now creeps in so many ways and I end up following the rabbit holes that leave me feeling frustrated and disappointed at best, angry and hopeless at worst.

I know I just need to step away from it completely, but it is also legit helpful to keep up with some news.

Thanks table. Yea I could hardly blame any of us for just feeling flat. I felt like i had nothing of interest to say.

I think I'm finally gonna just go to Messenger only for a bit. Glad to hear it helped you!

<3 Neanderthal, you’re a good dude

In my family we're discovering that we're all pretty depressed and anxious.

At the same time, we're acknowledging that it's not always appropriate to label it as a clinical or medical issue because, well, *gestures vaguely at the entire fucking world*. Being mad stressed is totally rational, and we're coping as we can and as we must, for now.

That said, those who would benefit from some professional help should ABSOLUTELY get it, and fast, and without any stigma attached. All love and strength and hope to all.

a friend just mentioned that her niece is now starting university, and as a singer the latter is very cognizant of the dangers of covid.

but also she is, and i quote, zaftig (a risk factor)

anyway at the risk of getting too deep into broadway lore, let us protect the zaftig kids. not only are they good people but we'll need them if crosswords are to carry on <3

In the world of sanitizer assault, this Moxé stuff at the Uhaul joint is weird and sorta awesome tho I dont know what it’s meant to “be.”

this is making the rounds and I hate it:

Steve Doocy, who lives in New Jersey: "If you live in New York City, aren't you thinking twice about 'do I really need to walk to the grocery store today?'" pic.twitter.com/jOccJa21cf

— Bobby Lewis (@revrrlewis) September 3, 2020

like, I do happen to live in new york, and I do have these thoughts regularly, in these exact words, not because I'm afraid I'm going to get shot, but because WE'RE STILL IN A FUCKING PANDEMIC, it is impossible to distance either while walking to the grocery store or inside it, assuming people are wearing masks, which they frequently aren't; and my craving for fresh pears or whatever does not outweigh my responsibility to unnecessarily endanger others.

this whole new wave of "going to restaurants is good actually because it owns the repubs and if you are still socially distancing you are the problem" is absolutely fucking infuriating

christ please tell me that's not a real circulating take

I do have these thoughts regularly, in these exact words, not because I'm afraid I'm going to get shot, but because WE'RE STILL IN A FUCKING PANDEMIC, it is impossible to distance either while walking to the grocery store or inside it

i had a guy come by for some repairs in my apartment that have needed doing since February and it was weird and scary just to have a stranger in my home. but my sink has been leaking for half a year and when he tried to rebalance my ceiling fan it FELL OUT OF THE GODDAMN CEILING and exploded so I'm at the pick your poison stage

i went to the TJs in union sq and chelsea in the last week and it was so bonkers calm and spread out inside.

I love going to Target midweek and midday: it's almost Zen.

they had these tables set up outside on the sidewalk in chelsea so if you want to bring your own bags, you bag it up outside.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=6&v=tjkRd288caQ&feature=emb_logo

just to underline my schizophrenia about this, I went to the Met on member opening day and found it surprisingly okay! Everything is weird.

Saw an article about that.

I'm far less paranoid about big interior space than smaller ones -- if everyone's required to mask, that is.

this whole new wave of "going to restaurants is good actually because it owns the repubs and if you are still socially distancing you are the problem"

what the fuck tell me there is not really a "wave" of this

ps "getting takeout from local restaurants and/or eating outdoors there is good because it's good to support local businesspeople and employees" is a wholly different and better take but is not new and is not about owning republicans

I'm noticing a lot more people in supermarkets recently only having their mouth covered by the mask they're obliged to wear. Wonder if taht's just a question of timing and has been going on all the time just not coincident to me but seemed like eerybody wearing a mask was wearing it right. NOw seeing people's noses all the time when I consciously wasn't before.

Oh well, kids are back at school etc and flu time is just down the road. next wave is on the way anyway innit.
Oh yeah tourists and students and things all over teh place when I'm downtown.

How fun.

met museum was mostly good though i saw SEVERAL docents with masks down talking to one another in galleries and a few old school retiree-weirdos of the kind familiar to any nyc art scene habitues doing typical batshit stuff. one guy was, i swear, walking around with a dinner napkin tucked under his glasses and pretending that was a mask. i'm presuming they're being more stringent after a week of adjustments.

It's depressing to see the now weekly news articles in our town listing all of the businesses and restaurants that are closing.

And it's so frustrating to see that so many of the ones closed are the ones simply unfortunate enough to either not be positioned for a sidewalk cafe or having had their requests to take over adjacent parking areas denied.

one point not well covered by ny media (shockers i know) has been the prioritization of highbrow entertainment over populist events. We've got a roaming Philharmonic in a pickup truck and most museums opening but free outdoor shows or socially distanced parties in parks are somehow unmanageable? It's better to put people in a gym than to have them dance in Central Park? it's political bullshit and it refuses to take into account the very real need for non-college educated people to have access to social existences and daily art.

what the fuck tell me there is not really a "wave" of this

ps "getting takeout from local restaurants and/or eating outdoors there is good because it's good to support local businesspeople and employees" is a wholly different and better take but is not new and is not about owning republicans

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, September 3, 2020 11:19 AM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

it is the very obvious subtext of most of the pieces, as well as tweets etc., pushing back against the gop narrative, which tend to go like "don't leave new york, look at all the people enjoying restaurants and museums and socializing together!" the other day someone claimed that mask-wearing is widespread in new york city, which is simply not true.

(for what it's worth, most restaurant workers I've seen are more OK with takeout I've seen but hate everyone dining at the restaurants themselves, even outdoors, since they still have to come into close contact with hundreds or thousands of unmasked people per day)

i feel like i see 90% people masked up while I am walking around lower manhattan and queens in the last 3 weeks.

wait so Miami-Dade has a mandatory mask ordinance (you even gotta wear them outside) and NYC doesn't?

so far I've been in my neighborhood, as well as midtown (I had to pick up a package from a store, and delivery wasn't possible), the bronx terminal market (had to emergency pickup a new keyboard for work) and the east village (visited someone outdoors, even that feels like having breached the rules), and across the board, the rate of mask wearers to non-mask wearers is about 50%, not counting people outdoors at restaurants and bars. if you do count them, the rate drops well below half.

There is. When I don't see people wearing a mask it's usually outside and/or when they are eating, talking on their phones, the random asshole.

that was for alfred.

I mean you're still supposed to wear a mask outside

This is all true.

Yes, I feel that 90% of the people i see outside are masking up unless they are outdoor dining or talking on their phone. I think I only saw one person not wearing a mask in a C-town.

The rising gun violence in nyc thing is weird. It is obviously a feast for trumpists but at least where some of my friends are living it is apparently pretty real. NB it is not perceptible in this part of brooklyn on my several hours of dog walk per day.

Here we get the mask-over-the-mouth syndrome on occasion, which bugs the shit out of me because it is that much less irritating if you don't cover your nose? Really?

our mask ordinance allows you to pull your mask off for smoking, which, if you know how Parisians smoke, is lol

i actually don't know how parisians smoke! i suppose...with the cigarette almost always in the mouth?

ha no, I mean...a lot

we all know you were talking about anal.