Mostly Apolitical Thread for Discussing/Venting our Rational/Irrational COVID-19 Fears and Experiences in 2020

Oof, that's terrible.

xpost I gave blood on Sunday via the Red Cross and they didn't have any real covid screening questions, at least nothing specific. Obviously beforehand they ask you not to come in if you're sick, and they take your temperature there, and there are the other current physical precautions, but most of the screening questions seemed to be the usual about IV drugs, gay sex and mad cow. Those mostly kinda generic "new" symptoms, though, I want to say the CDC added them a month or so ago? Maybe just as an extra precaution to make sure people with even just the sniffles aren't coming in?

search tip for the face cages -- they are called "3D silicone mask brackets"
trying to search for stuff i want or need without the correct search terms gives me the worst agita

i had some moments of utter panic while wearing a regular mask -- like once i got the image of being suffocated into my head, it was impossible to stop thinking about it. that's obvs a psychological issue but man is it powerful! i don't even want to say where my brain went lest it make someone else's brain go there. maybe i can use the hidden text feature!

let's see

it felt like being suffocated with cheap synthetic underpants from the dollar store

so once the text is un-hidden, it becomes visible to the poster? is that how it works?

wait nm i refreshed and it went back to being hidden
i like this new feature!

re: mask comfort, this mailing list features some insanse stuff https://rodolfor.substack.com/, but says this very basic shape might help people who wear glasses https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/SeamsEasyDesign.

for getting them off your face/cheeks/mouth, i've been looking at those rigid/domed/cup-chaped construction masks (without valves). this sort of thing:

https://multimedia.3m.com/mws/media/1507524P/3mtm-respirator-sanding-and-fiberglass.jpg

another search term is "duckbill", i.e. this sort of thing. there are fabric versions of this on etsy etc. http://image.tigermedical.com/Products/LargeImages/KIM48220.jpg

i got an order of legit n95s from these people https://n95maskco.com/products/respokare-niosh-n95-respirator-mask-10-pack for some upcoming risky stuff our family has (hospital appointments, etc.). i would consider this plus some sort of rotation/cleaning strategy for them if i were teaching or whatever. they are very tight though. should probably have got their cup-style n95s in hindsight. i have a big head btw.

ok that was a bit sanpaku.

it turns out i am VERY sensitive to pressure on my face/neck/nose/mouth
i don't even like to wear scarves bc it feels like someone is choking me
it's ok if something is draped lightly (like the neck gaiters were fine until they were dubbed unacceptable) but pressure on my face or neck gives me all the signs of straight up panic

i didn't realize i was this sensitive *shrug*

honestly i think it's related to my dental trauma :(

which we do not need to discuss further

masque chirurgical bec de canard, vert

No Entenschnabel, no credibility.

mask surgical mouth of duck, green

The new Duckface.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d9/d0/dc/d9d0dcadb0662dd62d7c7768249dc0ec.jpg

Sad lol My Red Cross app still says I am antibody positive, but it specifies via asterisk that "Result is from your last donation." I can't remember what it said before, exactly, so I have no idea if "last donation" means "previous donation" or "most recent donation" (since it could mean both). So I called the Red Cross for clarification, and the person told me that they hadn't changed the wording yet because "no one thought this would still be going on." I don't know if that means antibody tests, covid, or both.

this just got advertised to me in instagram literally 10 minutes after searching for the silicone face cage thingies on ebay.

https://banale.com/eu_en/mask.html

never got a mask ad in IG before. they’re fucking good at this shit huh.

Still yet to see anyone wearing one but powered masks seem to be popping up all over the place.

https://www.engadget.com/lg-puricare-wearable-air-purifier-114505307.html

All the workers at my closest grocery store have powered masks. (the building is older and has 1980s HVAC standards)

https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/118242556_192176752258765_1454541582898828513_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=Uu_o6As3XMEAX9mZEZh&_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-1.xx&oh=a828605dc1d596bd61f59cc28a158824&oe=5F6D36FB

https://i.etsystatic.com/19566895/r/il/e00096/2472702590/il_794xN.2472702590_sm65.jpg

I’m kind of surprised I haven’t seen full face PAPR masks advertised/used.

xp - does anyone know if the n95s above are less chafing than some of the others out there? I'm still rationing the two I had at the beginning but wearing them for more than 20 minutes or so rubs the top of my nose raw, and whenever I'm outside it's usually more than 20 minutes since I'm consolidating trips

Update: contacted primary care physician and local hospital group re: rapid covid testing (15 minute turnaround) and was basically told that there is no availability unless an emergency or pending surgery. PCR testing (2-10 day turnaround is readily available). I am located on Long Island.

I found a place that does the rapid testing but is all booked up for the next couple days.

xp - does anyone know if the n95s above are less chafing than some of the others out there? I'm still rationing the two I had at the beginning but wearing them for more than 20 minutes or so rubs the top of my nose raw, and whenever I'm outside it's usually more than 20 minutes since I'm consolidating trips

One of the more unpleasant new quotidian experiences is the hand sanitiser station at the entrance of certain shops that is like dousing your hands in cheap tequila, and the fumes kind of get trapped in your mask - v gag inducing

20% of new cases in my city are related to students contracting the virus as my place of work. Yesterday everyone who works and attends the school was blasted with emails and texts advising to not gather in any groups at all.

They're going to ride it out until kids can't get refunds for room and board, then move fully online. Despicable and disgusting, I am glad I am an adjunct at this institution and will be done with it after this semester.

xp I like the ones that smell of cheap gin.

It’s kind of triggering, as a recovering alcoholic. Reminds me of £5 bottles of vodka in the 90s.

Some places have ones with a nice delicate bergamot scent which I like. The ones I am talking about literally smell like agave based alcohol, but it’s not the smell that’s the issue so much as the strength of the fumes, esp with the cloth over your face where it feels like you’re huffing. I don’t think they should be that overpowering & they’re always in those 5l plastic dispensers you get sauce from in some kebab shops, which really gives the sense of something they’ve knocked up themselves

We make our own sanitiser at work but we can get laboratory grade ingredients and have the equipment to measure out the proportions accurately, some of this back of a lorry stuff seems like it was mixed in a bathtub

just had my first COVID test, as I'm traveling tomorrow. I'm officially negative. The nose swab wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting, and I got the result back in a little more than an hour.

Some swabbers are more aggressive than others. The first time for me was very gentle and I wondered what all the fuzz was about.

The second time it felt like the q-tip was trying to come out of my tear duct.

Sounds like a Pap test - it can be quick and easy and uncomfortable but not painful per se; when it’s careless and jabby it’s enough to make your eyes tear up.

For the test they did as part of the clinical trial, they used a flatter swab, but they left it in there for ten damn seconds.

My eyes watered

I had my first one last week because of symptoms and was surprised it was a self-swabber. "Insert about an inch and rotate 4x in each nostril" which made me sneeze. Negative results back the next morning and symptoms ended 3 days later.

Some swabbers are more aggressive than others.

There are two different types of (nasal) samples that can be taken, the nasopharyngeal (brain tickler) and the mid-turbinate (standard nasal swab). It's my understanding that the brain tickler was the go-to early on because it was considered more accurate but as lab testing has gotten better most places have felt confident enough to use the gentler standard nasal swab.

Research on the reason some people are worse affected than others:

https://theconversation.com/inflammation-the-key-factor-that-explains-vulnerability-to-severe-covid-144768

i had a (shitty) epiphany last night. up until last night, I'd managed to get myself to "extremely stressed, but finding ways to get by" for the last few months. last night swung me back into full-on depression. had to drag myself out of bed for work this morning. find myself unable to focus on anything.

ironically the trigger for this was something that was supposed to be a happy occasion. met up with a handful of old friends, socially distanced, for one of their birthdays. There was no joy to be had. the conversation was full of empty space as we couldn't think of things to say. none of us are 'living' anything resembling a fulfilled life, and when we thought of things to say, it was usually just sad recollections of what this year was supposed to be, and all of the things paralyzing us with fear. It was just sad to see what the political and pandemic climate has done to all of us.

then, one friend, when we finally get a private moment, confides in me that my ex from last year approached him and still misses me and wants to get back together. Like....this isn't the first time she's done this (she texted me the last time about it), and I've made unequivocally clear that I don't want to, to her directly. Nothing personal - but we aren't a good fit. Approaching another friend to try me again, NOW? do you really think I want to start a new relationship RIGHT NOW in the midst of a pandemic in which my emotions are wrecked, with someone I've already dated that I already know is a bad fit for me? it also wouldn't be wise from a COVID standpoint, but I don't even need that as an excuse. so being that one of the things that bugged me about her when we dated is her frequently using other friends as proxys to approach me about things she was afraid to ask me up front, or outright being aggro when she drinks, I'm just pretending I heard nothing.

my own mother is depressed because she's leaning on my brother and I for money, and nothing I say can assuage her that she need not worry about that. it's because of times in the past where I legitimately got upset with her over mismanaging money and relying on me and my brother to keep her afloat, often times when I didn't have much to spare. But things are different now. I am in a much better position and I can't possibly blame her for what the pandemic has done to her finances, and plus we think additional help is on the way via county-level rent payment services she has just applied for.

it's not even that I'm stressed with specific things. my best friends, I talk to on zoom or phone frequently, and that does bring me happiness. other friends, I keep up with on social media, but all it is , is a non-stop barrage of political or COVID-related messaging, over and over. so I'm stepping away from it for a week or so because I'm overloaded. I'm suffering with social comparison syndrome as well, especially regarding my reactions to various tragedies, where my emotions have just shut down to where I can't process them all at once or I fall to pieces, so I let in a little at a time.

ugh. i will shut up now. fuck.

I am looking up my old therapist today to see if she can do virtual sessions ongoing

Sorry Neanderthal. I'm not sure I have any advice, but I'm glad you are reaching out to your old therapist - that's been helpful for me.

She lives hours away but i think i can talk her into virtual sessions since we did a few that way when she still lived here. Hoping so. She was the only one who did anything besides just agree with me for an hour

hey Neanderthal, I took a month away from social media a while back and it helped improve my mood drastically— I'd been getting stuck in a neverending barrage of flat political messaging (even though I agreed with much of it!) and nihilistic memes.

I've had some similar experiences with certain friends recently, though not all. To be honest, the people who've spent the most time holed up have been the most difficult to interact with— there's not a lot to say to someone whose been working from home and watching movies for months while you've been bicycling, reading, and writing like mad. There are different reactions to what's been going on, and so I understand that people are processing everything in different ways, but it's hard to feel communion with people when there's such a vast gulf in experiences...even when those people are some of the people you care about most.

Anyway, sorry you're feeling poorly <3

I've been off Facebook for years now, but I've not managed to pull myself away from Twitter. No matter how carefully I attempt to massage my feed, the utter horror of America right now creeps in so many ways and I end up following the rabbit holes that leave me feeling frustrated and disappointed at best, angry and hopeless at worst.

I know I just need to step away from it completely, but it is also legit helpful to keep up with some news.

Thanks table. Yea I could hardly blame any of us for just feeling flat. I felt like i had nothing of interest to say.

I think I'm finally gonna just go to Messenger only for a bit. Glad to hear it helped you!

<3 Neanderthal, you’re a good dude

In my family we're discovering that we're all pretty depressed and anxious.

At the same time, we're acknowledging that it's not always appropriate to label it as a clinical or medical issue because, well, *gestures vaguely at the entire fucking world*. Being mad stressed is totally rational, and we're coping as we can and as we must, for now.

That said, those who would benefit from some professional help should ABSOLUTELY get it, and fast, and without any stigma attached. All love and strength and hope to all.

a friend just mentioned that her niece is now starting university, and as a singer the latter is very cognizant of the dangers of covid.

but also she is, and i quote, zaftig (a risk factor)

anyway at the risk of getting too deep into broadway lore, let us protect the zaftig kids. not only are they good people but we'll need them if crosswords are to carry on <3

In the world of sanitizer assault, this Moxé stuff at the Uhaul joint is weird and sorta awesome tho I dont know what it’s meant to “be.”

this is making the rounds and I hate it:

Steve Doocy, who lives in New Jersey: "If you live in New York City, aren't you thinking twice about 'do I really need to walk to the grocery store today?'" pic.twitter.com/jOccJa21cf

— Bobby Lewis (@revrrlewis) September 3, 2020

like, I do happen to live in new york, and I do have these thoughts regularly, in these exact words, not because I'm afraid I'm going to get shot, but because WE'RE STILL IN A FUCKING PANDEMIC, it is impossible to distance either while walking to the grocery store or inside it, assuming people are wearing masks, which they frequently aren't; and my craving for fresh pears or whatever does not outweigh my responsibility to unnecessarily endanger others.

this whole new wave of "going to restaurants is good actually because it owns the repubs and if you are still socially distancing you are the problem" is absolutely fucking infuriating

christ please tell me that's not a real circulating take