Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post on the "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here" thread - put them here

Yep. My favourite mode of socialization is having dinner parties. Part of my brain cannot shake that "people socializing with me" has to be coerced in some way, so I try and make that apparent "coercion" as pleasant for others as possible, by making people food. Even though I'm often reassured by my social circle that I'm "great at parties" and "a lot of fun", the feeling of social inadequacy persists, largely because of my struggles with mental illness and my worry that people are exhausted by these struggles-- which is, in certain cases, absolutely the case.

Thank you for sharing fgti.

It's a difficult thing. People with cancer are treated just as awkwardly as people with suicidal depression, there's misunderstanding, there's awkwardness around it. Met someone today and one of the first things they said was that they were getting chemo for stage IV cancer and do you think I had anything to say to that?

People back away from me if I talk too openly about suicide. Hell, complete honesty here, I back away from other people if they talk too openly about suicide. I've lost people to suicide. I don't blame them for what they did, I'm not angry at them. I'm proud of them for lasting as long as they did with what they had to live with. Knowing them is still in inspiration to me, still drives me. And it's been four years still hurts, hurts like fucking hell that they're gone, hurts like fucking hell what happened to them. I'm really afraid to lose anybody else like that.

For that matter I'm really afraid that even talking about it too directly could hurt somebody, could hurt somebody who's in a really vulnerable and fragile place, and that's a fear I push through, there's no safety when one is in that place, everything is a risk, and I don't know how to live without taking that risk sometimes.

I'm really afraid that the people who care about me might someday lose me like that. My reference to DFW's suicide... I wasn't coming from a place of flippancy, but from a place of weary over-familiarity. I know too well the crushing tedium of experiencing chronic suicidality, the sort of agony that makes time itself seem meaningless. It was this sort of depressive tedium that DFW, at some point, stopped being able to differentiate from mere boredom, to the point where he tried to write an entire book about what he took to be "boredom".

There are ways out, even if they're invisible a lot of the time, to a lot of us, even if it's mostly just blind fumbling. There are choices. A lot of them are crappy ones and there's no recognition, you know, for all the good choices we make. All of the times, all of the days, I've had to choose to not die that day... that's not a choice people who aren't suicidal have to ever make. My friend made that choice countless times in his life, beat the illness trying to take his life over and over and over again, and then one day, he couldn't, and nobody was there to give him the help and support he needed, the help and support he deserved, so he died. I don't count that as a personal failing of his.

These are helpful posts to read and I think we should take it to a more appropriate thread if this discussion is to continue! Thanks for your post rushomancy <3

I left a movie critic message board not too recently because a male poster made a hilarious rape joke about a real person, a female poster summoned a mod to delete the post, and the hilarious rape jokester whined and whined, calling the female poster a snitch, asking her if she was so sensitive because she got raped, and suggesting that maybe she should seek therapy instead of infringing on his free speech rights.

Eventually, all the male posters on the board took his side.

I am so happy ILX is not that place.

(Posted here, and not on "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here", out of respect for the late Bimble.)

Eventually, all the male posters on the board took his side.

I am so happy ILX is not that place.

(Posted here, and not on "Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here", out of respect for the late Bimble.)

― oder doch?, Monday, August 10, 2020 11:25 AM (nine minutes ago)

thank you oder doch. i understand that dynamic very well. it is always painful to see it play out.

What's all this about Daryl Stuermer all of a sudden?

wow, kinda otm

but it's like peeing in your pants when you're wearing a dark suit. you get a warm feeling all over but no one notices.

not much of a defense of PHil Collins there ^

ffs

YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS YOU WHO ARE MISTAKEN, ABOUT A GREAT MANY THINGS.

haha lololol because Old

o my sides

I never know when this thread is deliberately and/or mistakenly used instead of the main second thoughts thread or whether posts herein truly refer to the main second thoughts thread (I wrote ‘thoughts’ in the plural, sorry not sorry).

Gotta say I am low-key digging the trend of people just typing in what they WOULD link to instead of linking to it

Way better than trying to link something in, failing, and then saying "fuck, that didn't work. what I meant was..."

(galaxybrain.jpg)

It's like the old meta-joke about people who have been prison together for a long time, and who just refer to jokes by number

you mean marriage?

Go fuck a diaper

the issue of having sex in front of a baby actually came up at work the other day

^ was going to post anniehallmarshallmcluhan.jpg until I realised potential for misinterpretation, but I was already on this thread so I couldn't just take it to here

Before the introduction of individual bedrooms and our contemporary ideas of private space, sex in the same room as babies and small children must have been commonplace.

I mean, I'm not recommending ito as a fun practice or a spicy kink or anything.

Simply that many of our ancestors lived in more communal spaces than we ourselves are used to. The survival of the species (and the existence of large families) suggests that an awful lot of our forebears must have made whoopee near babies and small children.

Surely the way to save the planet is to troll.

https://cdn.statcdn.com/Statistic/635000/638990-blank-355.png

Yes, but we all know that some FPs are officially sanctioned and some are dismissed.

dear lord get a life

You're one to talk, go and annoy some Americans, that's all about all you're good for, you tedious Canadian cunt.

Lol wtf

Now see, addressing other posters in that manner IS one of the ways people find their FP count rising.

It's a fair cop, guv'nor.

the opening post on this thread was inspired by none other than our dear departed friend, and is exactly why I’m going to miss him forever.

<3

so glad you could notify us about your general superiority to the general US poster consensus

Just two different perspectives I held, at different times, about how Morbs' attitude related to it, and vice versa.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-have-different-opinions-Even-if-I-believe-in-my-opinion-with-a-whole-heart-there-are-still-people-who-disagree-Has-that-something-to-do-with-who-you-are-or-is-it-in-the-brain

lmao

deems yknow I genuinely wonder that sometimes it’s a source of distress

Oh I think we all go through it!

See also:

should other people have different opinions?

Where’d esby go btw?

is it in the brain

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one, and mine is best lavished with slow, wet kisses :/

D:

Jfc

whenever UK ilxors post about US politics, I often agree, but mostly I think about making a grilled cheese sandwich though I never do make that sandwich, I just think about the ideal grilled cheese sandwich

Real testament to the charter school movement’s success aren’t you

I read through the Morbs RIP thread again the other week when someone mentioned him, and am not 100% sure that saying "I thought the same thing as everyone else" was the best way to signal my superiority to everyone else tbh

the real hasn't been in circulation for 150 years

Es verdad.

I had one that wouldve made an "ilx posts taken outtve context" entry that wouldve earned min. 20 fps within ten mins and in a highly uncharacteristic moment of sense ive gone naaah

in re things nakh likes?

racist balkans in football was a fave topic of our former m8

Look genuinely im leaving it there, we've had a hectic week

i like onions

we will always have gaz coombes