Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

Branwell let’s be perfectly fucking clear here your preoccupation with “AMABs” and “AFABs” is hateful and dangerous and if that’s how the galaxy brained queers you hang out with are talking about cis men, trans women, and transfeminine nonbinary people in the same breath all the time then feel free to fuck back to that chatroom and don’t bring that shit to this board that you hate posting on anyway.

Like I don’t know what discursive culdesac you’ve trapped whoever is naive enough to hang out with you in but leave us out of it alright?

maybe it's an issue of feeling like transwomen and nb-ppl who were AMAB are behaving in ways similar to the ways cis-men have behaved to Branwell on ilx in their history on this board?

I’m not about to speculate on what Branwell’s issues are

well, Branwell has posted many times about and has expressed the perception that the fact they were AFAB (and presented as a woman for many years) -- led to a lot of the hostility from the cis-male posters in the past, that B feels they would not have received had they been "a man" at the time?

Like, seriously.

Me: "The creation of gendered adults from the genders assigned to children is a nonconsensual and often violent process, which is applied in very different ways to people who are considered to be female, and those considered to be men."

Reponse: YOU HATE TRANS WOMEN!!!!!

It's not anything to do with what I'm saying, is it? It's the fact that it's *me* saying it, right? Because this starts to feel like gaslighting after a while.

I know what my issue is, which is their rearing up out of the depths of the ocean to bully a genderqueer poster off the board twice in two years while spouting off about AMAB this and AMAB that is more than enough recent evidence I need to call them out for their transmisogyny.

maybe it's an issue of feeling like transwomen and nb-ppl who were AMAB are behaving in ways similar to the ways cis-men have behaved to Branwell on ilx in their history on this board?

No, it's more like... so-called "queer" spaces which are dominated by cis gay males often replicate misogyny in ways that are not always apparent to trans women or AMAB enbys.

Branwell if you were making the same posts as an unidentifiable sock in the same threads rest entirely fucking assured I would be reacting the same way

I truly cannot fathom how you are so wise as to understand that trans women are not as attuned to misogyny as you are

I’m really glad you’re here bringing your elevated understanding of AMABs to us

silby -- I would not use the phrase "bully a poster off the board" here -- like, I feel that B should have been more sensitive to Brad, esp. considering the history from 2 years ago, but -- "bullying a poster off the board" compared to what ilx used to be like, and what some of us went through when ilx was like that -- esp. Branwell? ... poor choice of words.

It’s interesting that you would not use that phrase, what are some other phrases you wouldn’t use

“I was wrong”

I wouldn't use the phrase "you should clearly keep antagonizing Branwell"

What happens to people who antagonize Branwell, is it unpleasant

ilx has a search function

god 'antagonizing'.. this sort of weird warped language and discourse that emerges around narcissists, like simultaneously they suffer all the harm and deserve all the placation

You act like I have never experienced misogyny. You act like I have never experienced transphobia. You act like I've never been bullied nearly to the point of suicide by people on this board. When I first started transitioning, there were men on this forum who started entire threads board lawyering for the right to deadname me - where were you, springing up to fight that transphobia? (I think it was pretty much FGTI the only person who did, at that point.)

You project the wildest shit into completely reasonable things which have been echoed many times, in trans and enby support groups, by trans women as well.

You're right, I don't get on with brad nelson, as a poster. We do not see eye to eye, and I suspect we never will. If the mere act of "not getting on with a nonbinary person" makes someone transphobic - hello, I'm trans and nonbinary!

Too grisly to mention??

I wouldn't use the phrase "you should clearly keep antagonizing Branwell"

also, it is just garbage behavior. Like, where is it getting you? It certainly doesn't seem to be coming from a place of respect and attempt at mediation or listening. ... One could call it bullying ... idk ... i really like ice cream

cis people don’t have any kind of monopoly on hating trans people

You're right, I don't get on with brad nelson, as a poster.

so why the fuck did you engage them? why are you still here? get the fuck out

i stopped watching that monopoly doc before the last episode ...

I've literally had trans women talk to me about how they feel safer in spaces run by "women and nonbinary afabs" than they do in cis gay male spaces, but it's transphobic for me to make the same assertion?

I can totally see Mark Wahlberg playing that dude

i for one don't fucking care about your trans credentials. you're a goddamn creep who makes this board a worse place to be for multiple people. xp

I didn't engage Brad. Brad inserted themself into a piece of advice I was giving to the father of an AFAB child who was coming out as maybe lesbian / bisexual / nonbinary - and was tailored specifically for an AFAB person, because I was speaking about an AFAB person - and started screaming at me because they felt this piece of advice (which was never aimed at them) did not adequately cover their specific experience.

Brad started this, and was not the slightest bit interested in engaging with me or listening to me.

You're a bunch of playground bullies, shouting that I'm the bully. It's just absurd.

You are transphobic as fuck to me, you're misogynist as hell, and yet accuse me of "hating trans women" to cover your own bullying.

You have no interest in any experience outside your own self-righteousness, but you scream that I'm a "narcissist" if I defend myself in any way.

go steamroll over some other people who aren't on ilxor.com for god's sake

You're a narcissist bully and you're a transphobe trying to bully a nonbinary person off a forum. Congratulations!

You are now exactly what you accuse me of being.

what you want I should bully myself off the forum then?

i'm a transphobe. all i can say is go fuck yourself you worthless piece of shit xp

i'm out

You're trying to bully a nonbinary trans person off a forum. That is what you are trying to do right now.

so I guess we didn't have second thoughts after all

I am a nonbinary trans person, and you are all screaming and swearing and trying to bully me off the board. Do you want to take a look at yourselves right now? Seriously?

you're also a person. who acts like a piece of shit. and yes, please leave.

You're the one swearing at me. And I will not leave, because a bunch of tranphobic bullies think I should.

well then i sure as shit hope the flag function works soon, in the meantime there's killfile

can't say i've ever been a huge branwell fan but bb does not deserve this treatment right now and y'all need to chill

Pretty sure they have me killfiled so in the interests of anyone reading, this:

Brad inserted themself into a piece of advice I was giving to the father of an AFAB child who was coming out as maybe lesbian / bisexual / nonbinary - and was tailored specifically for an AFAB person, because I was speaking about an AFAB person - and started screaming at me because they felt this piece of advice (which was never aimed at them) did not adequately cover their specific experience.

tbf i was basically screaming but, like, whatever. all this deserves screaming. brad is a great poster who contributes a lot. yeah, i'm really mad about how this all went down. and gyac is otm.

Agreed w mookieproof

And sarahell is extremely otm here

If you hate Branwell so much just killfile them, god, stop making it such an issue, nobody wants to read this fucking horseshit

gyac: I disagree, Brad got his back up very quickly

===

Look

The issue, as far as I can tell, is that Branwell started using AMAB to refer to not only the people that term is intended for (transwomen, AMAB enbys) but also, more broadly, to the cis gay men who populate the LGBTQ thread

I get why it's offensive-- and I did it too, and I apologize. I will not stop using AMAB because it applies to me, and I like it, and it is useful. I will stop using it to also refer to cis gay men, which I did, and I apologize for

Everything else still stands

Screaming "transphobic" at anybody and everything is counter-productive

Attempting to bully people off the board is ugly and execrable and stop doing it

And also I don't really dislike anybody on this board except silby right now for telling me to fuck you, but whatever, I just flagged a few posts about it and I feel better now

using AMAB to refer to not only the people that term is intended for (transwomen, AMAB enbys

Would you do me a big fat favor and not use it to refer to anyone

I don't have you killfiled, gyac, I'm actually following my own advice of not getting into discussions with people I don't think I will learn anything from.

I did think there was a chance, that if map and silby actually sat down and exercised some empathy and tried to understand that they are doing The Shitty Thing to someone from their own community, they might actually stop and reconsider? This is a thing that queer people do out of queer rage and queer pain - they attack other queer people. Sometimes you can empathise people into "we are both coming from a place of pain" and sometimes other people are too deep into their own pain to care.

and for the record another poster contacted me privately and was also pretty upset about the amab stuff branwell posted in the queer thread. it made for a really unpleasant and deeply unwelcome experience and now one of my favorite posters is gone.