Mostly Apolitical Thread for Discussing/Venting our Rational/Irrational COVID-19 Fears and Experiences in 2020

Xxpost Vaccine would take a while to begin working in the population due to distribution times, as well as time for active cases to resolve and requires a specific percentage to take it.

It won't be like a switch flip

But it would be at least a step in the direction of recovery. Vs now.

If I got a taste of my old life - gigs, friends, family, night life, restaurants - and had to go back to this, I am not sure my heart could take the whiplash.

I really enjoy Zoom happy hours with friends, but once I sign off I definitely experience an emotional crash that is almost the total opposite of how I feel charged up after hanging out with people in person.

My wife asked me whether I could just return to normalcy tomorrow and I said that I probably couldn't. Frankly it took a lot of emotional and mental labor to get me to acquiesce to this situation, and if I get out of this mode I am not sure how I'd get back in.

Yes, this. My gf is gently + safely dipping her toe back in the water, having bemasked and distanced small gatherings outside and I'm all 'nope, none for me, thanks'. I'm living life in precisely the same 'safer at home' manner as I was at the start of this thing and I plan to continue doing so until this is over. However goddamn crushing it might be at times. And not being with my family on the 4th like I am every year was goddamn crushing. Trying to not even think about xmas.

Quite honestly I'm having trouble seeing a reason to even wake up most mornings. I've completely given up all hope that things will ever get "better".

my one and only COVID question: why are some tests a simple self administered nostril swab and others a 12 foot probe into your brain matter

is the latter simply more definitive than the former

Idk but both tests i had this week were relatively non-invasive, but after last weeks brain-tickle I immediately forgot the words to "Seasons in the Sun"

please put more doom itt i’m loving it

Quite honestly I'm having trouble seeing a reason to even wake up most mornings. I've completely given up all hope that things will ever get "better".

― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, July 16, 2020

aw man really?

might be time to rescue an American with marriage

Xxxpost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3LNi-aPXuc

I mean, I just don't see the glimmers of hope that others see. I wish I did. It's just a constant onslaught of bad news and setbacks. Couple that with the intensity of my work rocketing to all time highs because they somehow expect our team to be prepared for "any possible configuration of learning" on campus by mid-August, without giving us the proper resources to do so and I've never felt more anxiety and overall hopelessness than I do right now. I would love to have the optimism some of you guys have, but I just don't see any hope to hang my hat on.

I think optimism is relative. Someone on some other thread dismissed my posts as, iirc, optimistic and naive, and trust me, I am absolutely neither of those things. But I think when you're near the bottom, or even sinking in that general direction, I think by default there's nowhere to look but forward or up.

Tbh any daily struggle I have I think is primarily due to exhaustion after so many years of the Asshole in Chief. At this point I'd probably prefer four more years of Covid to four more years of him. How's that for irrational?

You can't sever the two, Josh, in my mind. We wouldn't be where we are now -- this deeply in the shit -- if Hilary Clinton were in the Oval Office.

Though I'm sure "murderous lesbian President won't let me leave my house" would have been the new Benghazi

It's been helpful for me that I started voraciously boning up on world history in recent years inasmuch as, however bad shit gets, I'm now acutely aware of how much worse shit has been in other times and places. This too shall pass.

We've been taking quarantine very, very seriously, but I highly recommend seeing friends if they are able and can do so safely (i.e outdoors, distanced, small groups). My wife and I have done this a handful of times in the last six weeks and each time it makes me unspeakably happy.

xpost (Of course, ancient Assyrian despots didn't have nuclear weapons at their disposal, but I digress.)

yeah, I still see friends outside. It's done wonders for my mental stability.

j/v/c/ 2.0, you're definitely not alone in feeling hopeless. i am equally fearful and anxious about a physical return to my classroom in august, currently overwhelmed by new responsibilities and a creeping workload, and experiencing a general sentiment of voicelessness. my partner works in public health and is FAR more skeptical of (even the partial efficacy of) vaccines than anybody around here.

add'l'y: now that politicians, pundits, and armchair-experts have abruptly decided to weigh in on MY area of expertise, i'm learning that (my) experience does not hold a candle to (their) self-appointed authority. conversations about the intersections of racism, public health, and education aren't *interesting fodder* for thought – they're existential.

(for me, my career, and my family)

Hahahahahaha "friends".

I am convalescing from "atom bomb chemo" (which mostly worked) at the home of my remaining family for the last week, a couple months likely to go... before we start looking for a new apartment for me (best case scenario). I haven't seen any of my friends in ten weeks or so. COVID has made it worse than it had to be.

I can't fathom an economic recovery even with a vaccine because the economy has been shit and getting worse since 2008. The American standard of living just gets progressively worse from here.

Old lunch

My gf is gently + safely dipping her toe back in the water, having bemasked and distanced small gatherings outside and I'm all 'nope, none for me, thanks'.

Yeah my music friends are starting to do socially-distanced outoor cul de sac and driveway gigs, and rooftop open mics (bring your own mic!) and I am just not there yet.

And tangentially, this is the worst line break ever (as displayed on my phone browser)

It's been helpful for me that I started voraciously boning

Probably the best recourse, tbh.

Morbs, do you have a good internet connection at least? I don't know what any of this would be like without a good internet connection. Good to hear your health is stable, or so it sounds.

It's been helpful for me that I started voraciously boning up on world history in recent years inasmuch as, however bad shit gets, I'm now acutely aware of how much worse shit has been in other times and places. This too shall pass.

I agree. Hitler was still at war with the world (and murdering my relatives) in my mother's own lifetime. By the '60s we had presidents and civil rights leaders assassinated, we were mired in a pointless war with a draft, racism was not only rife but legal, there were police riots in the streets, things were literally blowing up (and people were being shot) on college campuses. And then we got Nixon. On the other hand, I think it can be argued that we never recovered from any of that, which is why reading "Nixonland" provokes so much deja vu.

Most pre-20th century plagues resolved as follows: everybody who was vulnerable to it died. Pretty much everyone who survived it (or was immune) emerged from the wreckage shaken and grieving, but comparatively fortunate.

Sometimes, fortunate survivors got a sudden influx of land and capital (cf. Ancient Athens), and sometimes wages got better (because the supply of labor decreased while the demand was stable or had increased).

That is not necessarily the case with COVID, because we don't have enough information about post-infection immunity, nor do we live in an economy with transparent supply/demand relationships.

I mean, I just don't see the glimmers of hope that others see. I wish I did. It's just a constant onslaught of bad news and setbacks. Couple that with the intensity of my work rocketing to all time highs because they somehow expect our team to be prepared for "any possible configuration of learning" on campus by mid-August, without giving us the proper resources to do so and I've never felt more anxiety and overall hopelessness than I do right now. I would love to have the optimism some of you guys have, but I just don't see any hope to hang my hat on.

I sympathize. I don't really have "optimism" or "hope" either. Being diabetic is a daily reminder of my mortality. But that, combined with being a full-time, permanently scuffling/hustling freelancer since 2017, has really helped me learn to live for today. I do what I can, and when an opportunity slides into view, I jump on it. I'm currently writing a book which will almost certainly make me very little money, but I'm having fun doing it, and a publisher wants to see a proposal for another book, which I'll start writing next year if they go for it. I was also recently able to score a surprisingly robust loan from the Small Business Administration that I'm gonna roll into a quixotic project I've wanted to take a run at for several years. Will it blow up in my face? Maybe. Probably. At best, it'll break even. But it'll be fun, and interesting, and it might lead to something else down the road.

Good luck to you.

excellent post/dn synergy at work there

I'm definitely curious to see your next project and book unperson, I've certainly enjoyed a lot of your past work. I think part of my problem is that I don't have any "passion project" to dump my energy into. I feel a twinge of jealousy when I see how others have managed to take advantage of this quarantine time to spin into things they love. But the longer it drags on, the longer and longer my work hours grow and by the time I put together a reasonable facsimile of time with my son at the end of the day, I'm lucky if I have enough time to catch up with the other chores around the house, much less take on any sort of hobby and/or project. It's just work/sleep/repeat ad infinitum.

hang in there everyone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_etyOQRQl0

Jvc, I'm not optimistic at all, but you have to remember that I survived stage iiib cancer last year. I will be shitting in a bag for the rest of my life, will never have the pleasure of getting fucked ever again, and will always have a compromised immune system as a result of chemo and radiation.

But I'm alive and while I weep most days, I also took a 20 mile bike ride yesterday, walked with my dog, spent time with my husband, and saw two dear friends for banh mi and beer.

Whether it's 2021 (with those caveats, obviously) or well after, which is more likely, I'm lucky to be here.

In early May I tested negative for antibodies. In mid June, I tested positive. A few weeks after that my wife tested negative, and today one daughter tested negative. So right now I'm going to presume I got a false positive. But I'm donating blood again in a month, and if I come up positive *again* when they do their complimentary test I'll consider it more likely that I *am* positive, and that (maybe) my wife and daughter tested false negative. Or true negative and just never caught it from me? Or maybe because if I had it it was super-mild, so it was not enough of a viral load to transfer? For sure I was not coughing or sneezing or anything, and by March we were all washing our hands a lot, so maybe they just lucked out.

Yeah, clearly I need to get my shit back in perspective. I know this, logically. In practice though, it's proving tougher than usual to do.

I tested negative for antibodies. In mid June, I tested positive. A few weeks after that my wife tested negative, and today one daughter tested negative. So right now I'm going to presume I got a false positive. But I'm donating blood again in a month, and if I come up positive *again* when they do their complimentary test I'll consider it more likely that I *am* positive, and that (maybe) my wife and daughter tested false negative

It's Schrodinger's test. It's simultaneously positive and negative, false and true. You cannot know unless you test, and then the quantum waveform collapses.

If I got a taste of my old life - gigs, friends, family, night life, restaurants - and had to go back to this, I am not sure my heart could take the whiplash.

Yesterday me and the wife and kid drove 9 hours back to the area of michigan where we grew up to meet up with 2 friends and their two kids who live in chicago now. Both households totally isolated themselves for two weeks - no socially-distanced visits, grocery delivery only, no going into gas stations and peeing on dirt roads off the freeway while traveling - and three of the four adults got tested and everyone is negative.

We're all staying at a house on Lake Superior and walking into the place was INTENSE as it was the closest any of us have been to other people since March. It was like a huge weight lifted and everyone was just so eager to talk to each other and drink beers together and the kids (4, 5, and 6) went crazy and have been playing with each other like mad and stayed up til midnight and it's so good to just be around other people and to see our only child have actual interaction with other kids. It's going to be incredibly harsh to give this up in a few days and I expect to feel incredibly depressed by it but it's still worth it.

aww

A+

Isolation is, to quote the Catholic mea culpa, is just and necessary, but we need contact. Socialize with relatives and friends, wear masks, hang out outside.

god bless. i am preparing to go back to my ceramic studio in the next week or two and it's giving me heebies and jeebies to just think about getting back on the subway again. it's gonna take time.

By chance I ran into my beloved niece this morning and gave her... an elbow bump. It felt radical and daring. I washed my elbow.

Later (as noted) my wife and I went for an outdoor meal (tapas and way too much sangria). We were served food by a waiter! We asked for more sangria! Paid the check with a credit card! Walked home in disbelief at the novelty of it.

Fun but probably won't happen again for at least three months.

for at least three months.

maybe consider doing it again before all vestiges of good weather disappear :-)

went to the pub a couple of weekends ago for the first time since mid-march. felt weird, but very needed. though we're relatively unscathed here (so far) - a study in the news today suggests that likely less than 1 in a 100 people in the area have been exposed to the VID - so it doesn't feel too weird or irresponsible. also made sure to tip well because I know all the servers

Feeling the recent posts by joygoat and table.

You won’t catch me dining in before 2021 probably.

We’re going to an island to spend two nights in a beach place at the start of august tho. I plan to bring the waffle iron.

My mom, sis, and two nieces ate outside at an almost deserted restaurant on Sanibel yesterday. I say "almost" because a geriatric couple hobbled in with masks held on by what looked like duct tape. Mask requirement in place. I/we felt safe.

maybe consider doing it again before all vestiges of good weather disappear :-)

Gah, I am not looking forward to this when it starts dropping down below 50 again, let alone in the dead of winter.