rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

if they have any goddamn sense, they will put a big fuckin' Chuck E Cheese cartoon on the box surrounded by supporting characters; that's mostly what people feel nostalgia for.

consumers who understand delivery

and to think all these years they were withholding the robust, grown-up flavours of pizza sauce and cheese.

i ate the taco bell grilled cheese burrito and couldn't finish half of it - the entire thing was just drenched in cheap grease, it sounds halfway delicious on paper and i generally fuck with taco bell LTO but it was really unpleasant!

Are there any children named Alinea yet

https://www.pmq.com/marcospizzabowls/

Seyferth said Marco’s pizza bowls will “give pizza lovers another option to eating their favorite food. With more than one-fourth of the population tossing and wasting the crust of pizza and the popularization of pizza bowls, this product is an ideal fit. Marco’s officially gives you permission to eat pizza with a fork.”

love to absolutely shred the roof of my mouth on a nice piping hot bowl of toppings

With more than one-fourth of the population tossing and wasting the crust of pizza

lol the leap from "people don't like to eat the tasteless dry bread at the end of their pizza slice" to "people just want to scrape off the sauce and toppings and eat it with a fork because they hate the concept of bread"

What’s the problem with not eating 100% of the crust? This feels like being chided for not cleaning the plate.

Look, it's called a Zaproboli, and you're going to shove it in your fucking face

(Zaproboli being short for Pizza Protein Bowl)

If the crust on the pizza is “tasteless dry bread” that’s not good pizza

yeah, most pizza isn't good pizza

so wait... by removing the "crust"...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qItugh-fFgg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG7273yDpdA

i fucking love polly o string cheese btw

This is pizza for Ketos.

eat the ball pic.twitter.com/iXplBqhglc

— Big Bob Hell 🏴☭ (@AlmightyBoob) August 2, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsxTSr-5Mww&feature=youtu.be

cmon dickheads, eat the ball

Eat the Ball® is an innovative European company based in Austria that launched the world's first bread brand in 2012 and established a new category of functional branded bread.

It all began in 2007, with one simple question: Why are there no real bread brands? A food as important as bread is still only sold in generic “categories” instead of as a real, distinguishable product brand with individual quality characteristics. The company’s founder Michael Hobel and his business partner Norbert Kraihamer found the issue of bread so intriguing that in 2012 they decided to launch Eat the Ball® in Austria, following five years of research and development. The first steps into Europe and now in the USA. The stated aim is to create the world's first real bread brand.

excellent mission statement, that answers all of my questions

"gently made"?

five years of research and development

I feel like there are bread brands!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsxTSr-5Mww

DISRUPT BREAD

562 views for an ad that was posted two years ago

get me a two year old donut ad

launched the world's first bread brand in 2012

I am incredulous that these euros have never heard of Wonder Bread.

Even Dave's Killer Bread started in 2005.

and Mike's Hard Bread was a year before that

what the fuck?

Pepperidge Farm, not remembered :(

The World's First Bread Brand

Hey, wait just one minute.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b0/Bread_1971.JPG

RIP mexican pizza

Good US-baiting from Supreme Court of Ireland there: for VAT purposes at least, Subway bread is confectionary, not bread.

https://www.insider.com/ban-chipotles-cuffing-season-menu-2020-11

"Our restaurants have been extremely popular date destinations, and many of our fans have found love bonding over their Chipotle obsessions," Tressie Lieberman, Chipotle's vice president of digital marketing and off-premise, told Insider. "In our endless pursuit to meet our fans where they are, we teamed up with Uber Eats to create a series of fun, sharable pairings that can be enjoyed anywhere and will complement the dating experience."

https://i.imgur.com/U4xzEfe.jpg

the chipotles i’ve been in have really bad atmosphere, don’t go on a date there

RIP mexican pizza

https://www.kfc.co.uk/menu/for-one/gravy-burger-1-mini-fillet-box-meal

A Christmas Special – An Original Recipe fillet burger, teamed with creamy Gravynnaise™, cheese & topped with a cupped hash brown made to be filled with lashings of your Gravy side, all in a glazed bun. Served with a Mini Fillet, Fries, a Gravynnaise™ dip & drink.

it'd be pretty cool if they served that "Gravynnaise™ dip & drink" with an oxford comma too

https://www.redlobster.com/news-press/press/2020/09/15/red-lobster-and-pepsico-kick-off-new-relationship-with-thedew-garita---the-first-official-mtn-dew-cocktail

The DEW Garita pairs perfectly with Red Lobster’s iconic Cheddar Bay Biscuits®. Made using a top-secret recipe, the refreshingly fun cocktail will begin rolling out to select Red Lobster restaurants in September and will be available nationwide by the end of 2020. The Red Lobster and PepsiCo innovation teams are also working together to leverage iconic PepsiCo brands across the Frito-Lay and Quaker range of products to co-create tasty menu items.

Whatever could be the ingredients in this Mountain Dew margarita?

love the name Gravynnaise™

https://burgerlad.com/kfc-christmas-gravy-burger/

https://burgerlad.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Christmas-Gravy-Burger-5.jpeg

Oh no...

someone shat on a zinger

...12th Street and Vine

Take out the KC and you only get Ffffffff

Xp:

can’t believe I’m posting this but you can recreate the Mexican pizza at a cheaper price by ordering a tostada with no chipotle sauce/lettuce and adding a side of beef. or maybe it’s two tostadas? I need to ask my partner.
― brimstead, Friday, November 13, 2020 3:00 AM (two weeks ago)

Unfortunately, the Spicy Tostada also got the ax earlier this year during the first round of cuts (when they eliminated all the potato items)