love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

beer garden permissions have been getting fast tracked here but apparently the ban on freeform outdoor drinking won't be lifted anytime soon:

As far as I understand it, there is a complex and lengthy process that requires to be followed for a by-law to be changed. This involves a decision by the local authority, a referral to Scottish Ministers and, subject to approval, a further decision by the council to confirm that the by-law should be changed.

in fact I think edinburgh are even thinking about bringing a similar by-law in.

I took a friend from Hudds to one of my sticks pubs, Brewers Pride near Horbury and he couldn't believe there are parts of Dewsbury and the extended Heavy Woollen District universe of grimness that are actually beautifully picturesque and not completely grey and horrible, and a pub where the atmosphere is so genteel and almost posh!

rains to fuck here half the time anyway which makes it mostly academic but would be nice for the 2-3 days a year it's sunny

The last time we were inapub was the day before the lock down. We sat outside for social dist., I went in for drinks, when I came out my wife was surrounded closely by various smokers under the parasol because it was raining.

We had arranged a birthday meet up with friends the next evening, but then Boz announced the shutdown for the end of that evening, and guessed it'd be like the last pissup on earth so sacked it...

Shadow chancellor Anneliese Dodds tells @PaulBrandITV she wants people to hit the pubs this weekend in order to 'support local businesses'

This is very much not what she says, though? She steers it to 'local businesses' immediately and stays there, emphasising staying safe.

I doubt the two pubs I regularly drink in will open - well, one of them definitely not according to the grapesvine - and that's entirely due to space considerations.

Johnson saying he doesn't believe in gestures having done half a single press-up to keep the Mail on Sunday hot for him. Seeing this cunt taking the knee would be more insulting though.

btw keep clapping for the nurses cos they're certainly not getting a pay rise

sorry don't believe in gestures

did david starkey really say "so many damn blacks"

yes but frankly that wasn’t the worst thing he said. he went on to compare slavery with the treatment of roman catholics, who, because they were “emancipated” long ago “don’t go on about it”.

the earlier bit where he said black americans aren't culturally black and wouldn't survive ten seconds back in darkest Africa was possibly a bit racist too

And I'd like to think Starkey apologist Neil Oliver should get a fucking for giving tacit approval by declaring his love for him and for being shit.

classic dorries

😂 pic.twitter.com/F8yMdoPwJf

— Justin Madders MP (@justinmadders) July 2, 2020

Also I noticed Neil Oliver's twitter has three retweets of black conservatives renouncing that silly old "cancel-culture" just to show he isn't racist

That was me retweeting lefty Jews saying Corbz is the biz!

trigger warning: pigs really pigging it up

Being white, I’ve never been searched or arrested for looking at a police officer. Listen to the tone and the disrespect shown by officer’s in this video. It makes me feel sick to my stomach to know this is STILL happening on a regular basis in London: pic.twitter.com/2pbnvKZ5l6

— Liam Young (@liamyoung) July 3, 2020

god it must wonderful time to be a sneering bullyboy shitbag

some good social distancing from the rozzers there

Pop the kettle on. https://t.co/j2EWBpgF3A

— Rishi Sunak (@RishiSunak) July 3, 2020

guy with the beard looks like MJ "best at wood" robbins

Dust off those microwaves stout yeomen far and wide.

what.... does that mean?

is he talking to me? does he want me to make tea for him?

does he really think that pubs are small electrical good suppliers

i’m honestly completely confused

i think he was having a laugh at his own expense

he's just a misunderstood absurdist comedian really

accidentally found himself made chancellor but hey

It's always bad/funny when evil tories try and do twee

Lol there is a touch of Daniil Kharms to Rishi 's twitter recently

I'm struggling with the disconnect between 'please drink responsibly' and 'you can have a pint at 6am'. Suppose the latter might help if you're working as a security guard or at a meat market.

they're still not bringing back club cricket, seemingly out of a desire to destroy the sport

Do rugby next!

is that basically a ball handling thing? have been seeing quite a few people practising together, like groups of 7 or 8 people in the nets etc xp

boris originally said a ball handling thing (oo-er) but has now changed it to legitimate concerns about changing rooms (arrive already changed!) and teas (bring your own!)

Get Rishi on the brew station

do less well-off sides share boxes or something?

Devon & Cornwall police are apparently trying to limit the amount of time you can spend in a pub to two hours, though idk on what basis they imagine they can enforce that.

I'd guess a lot of people will want to go mid-afternoon and stay through the evening, rather than spending hours queuing to get in at 9pm.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/coronavirus-covid-19-travel-corridors#travel-corridors-countries-and-territories-exemption-list

Travel corridor list published - places that you won't have to quarantine after you come back, if you visit, but won't necessarily let you in to begin with.

Portugal not on the list, wtf

Neither is Bulgaria so guess Stanley is going to have to quarantine if he comes back in the next week

they're still not bringing back club cricket, seemingly out of a desire to destroy the sport

my team has done some nets, sorry haters

Somehow I think cricket is fairly low down on the list of things the tories want to destroy

tories are bad confirmed

my local cricket/tennis club seemed to be sneakily keeping up the tennis during the lockdown, always an adult coaching a group of children. I was bit pissed one night and yelled "Quit Torying!" at the tennis court and some bloke said what did you say? and i didn't embarrass myself any further

classic tale of failing to organise a piss-up in a brewdog:

Pubs in England have been forced to cancel post-midnight reopening events following a government announcement that regulations enforcing their closure will remain in place until 6am.

Some landlords – including the pub chain BrewDog – had planned to reopen their venues in England as the clock ticked past midnight.

But several hours before they were due to welcome customers, No 10 said on Friday afternoon the ban would now remain in place until later on Saturday morning.

Pub owners and the Police Federation of England and Wales have since criticised the timing of the announcement.

Adam Snowball, managing director of the Showtime sports bar in Huddersfield, said it was “massively disappointing” to have to cancel his reopening event.

The 35-year-old said about 50 people had booked a table at his venue on Zetland Street, which would have remained open until 3.30am.

He told the PA news agency:

"We only found about the changes this morning when we received a call from Kirklees council’s licensing department.

"To be honest, I don’t think the government had thought about it (pubs reopening at midnight) until it was reported in the media that venues like ours would be.

"It’s massively disappointing, but it does allow us to step off the gas a little bit."

Snowball said customers were being notified that the bar would not be open until 10am on Saturday.

Meanwhile, a BrewDog spokeswoman said the chain had also been required to tell customers that its planned ticket-only events in Manchester, Newcastle and Shoreditch would no longer be going ahead.

John Apter, the national chairman of the Police Federation of England and Wales, said while he welcomed the decision to keep pubs shut until 6am, the timing of the announcement was “very unhelpful”.

He said:

"I think the lastminute.com approach to this is very unhelpful to policing and adds even more pressure to what is an already difficult situation."

Apter said the federation, which represents thousands of rank and file officers, had “raised concerns” about some pubs planning to open after midnight.

He said:

"It is a good thing the Home Office has acted and has made the right decision keep pub doors firmly shut until 6am.

"I would urge the public to be responsible, sensible, and mindful of the restrictions that are still in place."

While regulations allowing for the reopening of pubs and bars comes into force from 6am, licensing conditions will still apply – so venues can only open at the time they normally have permission for.

not sure why i needed to share that but you will observe:
- man running a pub whose name is 'adam snowball'
- police spokesman using the phrase 'lastminute.com'
- fucking brewdog

love a snowball tbh

Britain was a mistake

One which may be rectified in the next few years.