Like one big shit or loads of little ones, one for each chocolate?
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:14 (three years ago) link
Lmao. 'Yo dawg we heard you're being a shit in a box, so we put a shit in a box in the box you're a shit in'
― Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Friday, 26 June 2020 13:14 (three years ago) link
You ask that and not whether it was wrapped in gold foil?
― American Fear of Scampos (Ed), Friday, 26 June 2020 13:14 (three years ago) link
I can't remember which one shat in it but they were 12 and 13 years old at the time if that helps!
― calzino, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:15 (three years ago) link
Clearly the trick is to drop a massive tartare-induced deuce then to carefully sculpt it into a dozen chocolatey pebbles before wrapping them, Midas-like, in foils of gold.
― pomenitul, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:18 (three years ago) link
Probably advisable for the 13 year old to play the Ambassador, bit more gravitas.
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:18 (three years ago) link
Stage one: open the box
― Anti-Cop Ponceortium (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 26 June 2020 13:19 (three years ago) link
Nothing was wrapped, so God knows why this fule even picked the box up, but he did!
― calzino, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:20 (three years ago) link
I like eat a Ferrero Rocher box, shit it out and then spread the resulting paste between two intact Ferrero Rocher boxes
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 26 June 2020 13:21 (three years ago) link
I think the phone box guy was addicted to sex chatlines. I'm not joking he would be in there for hours, possibly on speed, he'd even bring his bathroom rug in there with him some days!
― calzino, Friday, 26 June 2020 13:25 (three years ago) link
Classic Real England, they don't make 'em like that any more
― tired of waiting for icu (Matt #2), Friday, 26 June 2020 13:33 (three years ago) link
I was walking along the Regent's Canal once (up near St Pancras old church) and saw the most beautiful, ornate box floating along by the side. Looking back I should have known better, but I fished it out - all finely folded thick white card on a light wooden plinth, replete with a bow - and opened it up. Inside, lovingly inlaid, was a perfectly formed human shite. I fully expected Lisa Riley or someone to jump out with a camera but nothing.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Friday, 26 June 2020 13:53 (three years ago) link
itt: posts with beautiful vivid imagery
― never mind that shit, here comes scampo (Noodle Vague), Friday, 26 June 2020 14:14 (three years ago) link
― tired of waiting for icu (Matt #2), Friday, 26 June 2020 14:33 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
RIP phone boxes
― a hoy hoy, Saturday, 27 June 2020 17:33 (three years ago) link
https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/18561160.angry-mods-descend-brighton-battle-madeira-drive/
― Boris the Spreader (NickB), Saturday, 4 July 2020 11:12 (three years ago) link
So tempted to hit the spoons and then go and laugh at the angry mods in the miserable pissy rain
― Boris the Spreader (NickB), Saturday, 4 July 2020 11:19 (three years ago) link
“Heaven,” said Bert Lockley, a regular, sipping his first pint of draught Guinness for three months. “I’ve missed this more than my missus when she left,” Lockley said.
― coptic feels (seandalai), Saturday, 4 July 2020 13:01 (three years ago) link
Here are the bar staff at The Alliance Inn @MENnewsdesk pic.twitter.com/1lRB2kscTk— Rebecca Day (@RebeccaDayMEN) July 4, 2020
― Matt DC, Saturday, 4 July 2020 13:03 (three years ago) link
I admire their enthusiasm but each of those blow up sex dolls will have been through enough hands by 11pm to qualify as a superspreader event in their own right.
― Matt DC, Saturday, 4 July 2020 13:24 (three years ago) link
Spreading what though?
― The Fields o' Fat Henry (Tom D.), Saturday, 4 July 2020 13:29 (three years ago) link
thatcherism https://t.co/9vlKfWzZ0A— friends of pudding (@friend2pudding) July 13, 2020
― Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 14 July 2020 13:43 (three years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdtlIseXsAEGRex?format=jpg&name=4096x4096
couldn't get a proper pic because i feel like a creep taking pics of local posh tory houses even though I'm quite inclined to be very nosy about what these ppl are like and wtf makes them tick! But this house has a nameplate: "Aslan's How" with a homemade laminated rona rainbow pic in the window : "God is in control"
― calzino, Friday, 24 July 2020 19:17 (three years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdyKRkyXgAI9p1F?format=jpg&name=4096x4096
just sighted my first old-school horse and cart "real" scrapper in ages, huge rigger boots on as well - scrapper to the core this dude was.
― calzino, Saturday, 25 July 2020 16:13 (three years ago) link
still come round regular round here, there's an area of Hull called Gipsyville from back in ye olden days
― À la recherche du scamps perdu (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 25 July 2020 16:33 (three years ago) link
I guess what they say is true, England *is* turning into Romania.
xp
― pomenitul, Saturday, 25 July 2020 16:43 (three years ago) link
Anglia, pământ românesc.
― pomenitul, Saturday, 25 July 2020 16:44 (three years ago) link
some tatters used to leave their pony tied out on a grass verge not far from my house, used to feed him Polos on the way to work in the morning
― À la recherche du scamps perdu (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 25 July 2020 16:45 (three years ago) link
I wonder how much the Rona has decimated the industrial metals markets, in the noughties all the huge Chinese infrastructure spending was pushing copper to be the new gold. I can remember when copper was that cheap if a cable drum was broken people would throw it in the skip and grab another!
― calzino, Saturday, 25 July 2020 16:48 (three years ago) link
got a birthday card in the post from the UK, one of those ones that is either the innocent smoothies aesthetic applied to drinking or an alcoholism joke (never clear which). a uniquely british form of humour afaict.
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Saturday, 25 July 2020 22:37 (three years ago) link
Did it have the word "cheeky" in it
― kinder, Saturday, 25 July 2020 22:55 (three years ago) link
I only deal with appropriately respectful alcoholics ftr!
― calzino, Saturday, 25 July 2020 23:01 (three years ago) link
Baboons at Knowsley Safari Park have been found carrying weapons, it has been claimed.Keepers at the safari park, in Merseyside, said they suspect visitors have been giving the animals knives, screwdrivers and even a chainsaw "for a laugh", The Mirror reports.
Keepers at the safari park, in Merseyside, said they suspect visitors have been giving the animals knives, screwdrivers and even a chainsaw "for a laugh", The Mirror reports.
― calzino, Monday, 27 July 2020 14:31 (three years ago) link
I had no idea that such flawless gammon specimens were even possible:
https://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/top-stories/edward-leigh-on-calais-and-migrants-1-6790211
― pomenitul, Friday, 14 August 2020 22:14 (three years ago) link
perfidious albion keeps delivering
― calzino, Friday, 14 August 2020 22:18 (three years ago) link
pic.twitter.com/11nQYi2Kby— good90s (@good90s) September 23, 2019
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 04:56 (three years ago) link
Let's ask the HERO'S WIDOW if Utd should play in the Cup.
― オニモ (onimo), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:09 (three years ago) link
it's so staggering you think it has to be a fake but i'm guessing it's not a fake
― no ifs, no buts, no scampo nation (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:11 (three years ago) link
crying out for a poll of the interviewees
― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:13 (three years ago) link
At that point THE FILM STAR had played 500 football matches and acted in 1 film.
― オニモ (onimo), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:13 (three years ago) link
even Barry Norman getting in there! I can remember that mirror cover it's 100% real and my late father-in-law saying it's a bloody disgrace, best cup competition in the world etc...
― calzino, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:14 (three years ago) link
hi Lisa Potts sorry you were severely injured during a terrifying machete attack what do you think about United pulling out of the FA Cup tho?
― no ifs, no buts, no scampo nation (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:15 (three years ago) link
Yep, I remember it at the time. I wonder how many of their phones Morgan was hacking.
― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:17 (three years ago) link
as a lottery winner, i think it's a bleedin' disgrace
― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:25 (three years ago) link
yeah I think questions need to be asked wtf you'd be asking the widow of a headmaster that got stabbed to death outside his school to comment an FA cup controversy, it's bizarre really.
― calzino, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:41 (three years ago) link
they were obv all on a lot of different drugs back then.
― calzino, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:47 (three years ago) link
that page represents some kind of moment in the tabloids's imperial era, a moments where all of the stylistic tics and voice of the people shtick curdle into this gross, decadent, debauched rongness that later generations can only look back on and gasp/gag
― no ifs, no buts, no scampo nation (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:50 (three years ago) link
how many people looked that over and didn't think twice about whether victims of horrible violence were celebrities who should be approached and front-paged for their views on a football competition?
― no ifs, no buts, no scampo nation (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 15:54 (three years ago) link
the worst thing was they were good victims, not bad victims.
Just paraphrasing Brass Eye, not being a sicko ftr!
― calzino, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 16:14 (three years ago) link
despite watching Brass Eye a couple of years before that cover and seeing myself as someone who was aware of how terrible the UK press was. I remember thinking it was quite "normal" at the time, or at least just more being annoyed that it was more Man Utd bullshit rather than the absolutely horrid practises of the UK tabloids utilised in it.
― calzino, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 16:30 (three years ago) link
well i meant the people at the Mirror who had sight of it before publication but you're probably right calz, at the time, in a different context, it was probably less jaw-droppingly bad. but that's because it was standard operating procedure for the time i guess
― no ifs, no buts, no scampo nation (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 16:32 (three years ago) link