https://www.imgur.com/QILYj9k.jpeg
― conrad, Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:13 (three years ago) link
oh my god FUCK OFF
― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:26 (three years ago) link
I'm sure the Bangladeshi sweatshop workers making their jackets appreciate that message đ
― Neil S, Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:27 (three years ago) link
Twattery of the highest order, Coco Pops possibly the worst single infringement
― Ivan Scampo (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:32 (three years ago) link
Altho urging people to read as if any old shite is somehow improving always gets a rise out of me too
― Ivan Scampo (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:33 (three years ago) link
the fake-working-class remember-the-80s aspects of the ISA grind my gears, but "drink good coffee" is real mask off stuff.
― đ đđ˘đ¨ (caek), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 18:04 (three years ago) link
Fuck you pic.twitter.com/vDSfK361bw— Shrieking Tinman (@phased_bemused) June 23, 2020
― calzino, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 18:46 (three years ago) link
Love to see the phrase "wee wee wee" on something I'm about to drink
― kinder, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 21:14 (three years ago) link
I just opened up a new pack of uncompostable, non-biodegradable trash bags, from a regular degular brand (Brabantia) and when I unfolded the first one I saw that it had words written on the side:âMAKING ROOM FOR BIGGER DREAMSâwhat??
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 21:29 (three years ago) link
XpWhat a truly horrible label, it probably isn't true innocent smoothies aesthetic, but seriously what kind of a wanker would do that to a malbec?
― calzino, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 21:47 (three years ago) link
The Southern Impact Team were excited on Friday and making preparations to celebrate National Onion Day on the Saturday (yep - apparently this is actually a thing).Whilst on patrol in the Arbury; hoping to find more onion enthusiasts, they instead came across a car linked to County Lines Drug Dealing.Whilst the officers had a "spring" in their step, the occupants of the car appeared to be peeling rather nervous.The vehicle was searched, with several wraps of Class A drugs recovered, a large amount of cash, and more worryingly, a TASER disguised as a torch.Despite the pair protesting their innocence shallot, they were in something of a pickle and arrested.There were tears from one of the suspects, and the officers didn't want to keep going onion about it so transported them to Parkside Custody.During a strip search the driver of the vehicle was found with a further bundle of Class A wraps in his pants, which didn't quite onion ring true with the rest of his story.Both were interviewed and released under investigation.#OpRaptor #WeHateDrugsShallot #AllCardsOnTheVegeTable #RingThePolice #PeelySilly #InAPickle #DryYourEyes #StrangePlaceToKeepYourDrugs #DontShineTheTorchInYourFaceByAccident #SOUTHERNIMPACTTEAMFuck offffffffffffffffffff
― Keirâd flex (wins), Tuesday, 30 June 2020 12:52 (three years ago) link
what in the world
― maf you one two (maffew12), Tuesday, 30 June 2020 13:23 (three years ago) link
lmao oatly have sold out to amazon-destroying venture capital monsters blackstone and their social media team are tying themselves in knots trying to justify it to their many angry customers
(2/3) We know that as a relatively small oat drink company, we canât solve the global challenge of combating climate change alone. To succeed, weâre convinced that everyone needs to start somewhere to make changes - and this includes private equity.— OatlyUK (@OatlyUK) August 31, 2020
― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:12 (three years ago) link
lol ethical capitalism
― A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:16 (three years ago) link
but what if could change the system from the inside? and if we get rich while doing it, well... money won't change me! i've got principles!
― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:29 (three years ago) link
For a very brief moment I thought that you meant Amazon the company rather than Amazon the rainforest there bizarro and I got a flash of excitement at the existence of a venture capital monster that could destroy them. Then I felt sad when I realised the obvious actual meaning.
― brain (krakow), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:32 (three years ago) link
Of course, a venture capital monster that could destroy Amazon (the company, not the rainforest) would probably be de facto even more horrific than Amazon themselves, but still it was a nice little daydream for a split second.
― brain (krakow), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:34 (three years ago) link
sorry 4 false hope, we are in fact still doomed, perhaps even a little more than we were before
― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:40 (three years ago) link
Not to worry. If I drew cartoons it gave me an idea for a bad one.
Panel one: Angry protest outside the corporate headquarters of "Venture Capital Corp.", with protestors carrying signs saying "Amazon-destroying monsters!", "Save the Amazon!" etc.
Panel two: Bulldozers etc. (branded with "Venture Capital Corp.") in midst of destroying an Amazon.com warehouse.
― brain (krakow), Tuesday, 1 September 2020 10:51 (three years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eg8cpDMXYAEXpG-?format=jpg
― Number None, Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:19 (three years ago) link
oh my fucking god
― this is my clean tone (NickB), Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:26 (three years ago) link
think i probably hate a good 70% of those things
― this is my clean tone (NickB), Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:30 (three years ago) link
that doesnât even count any more imo, thatâs just standard british ârelatableâ adspeak.
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:34 (three years ago) link
yeah it's not quite cuddly enough but on the other hand maybe we just live in an Innocent Smoothies world now
― A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:00 (three years ago) link
I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc). Does this kind of thing stem from there, or elsewhere?
― brain (krakow), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:39 (three years ago) link
It could also be done in the style of 'Fitter Happier' from OK Computer.
― brain (krakow), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:41 (three years ago) link
interpellation just isn't as subtle as it used to be
― A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:43 (three years ago) link
krakow i think you could be right about that
if so it's another example of the classic evolution of satirical irony congealing into earnestness through years of overuse cf. every one of coogan's 'saxondale' mannerisms
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 3 September 2020 09:14 (three years ago) link
I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc)
ha, you weren't the only person who thought that:
Choose death pic.twitter.com/ub5NL3Sa3V— Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) September 3, 2020
― this is my clean tone (NickB), Thursday, 3 September 2020 14:15 (three years ago) link
"Proper bants"?
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 3 September 2020 14:50 (three years ago) link
Proper bants for a proper job
― kinder, Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:14 (three years ago) link
The result of that layout is that I keep reading 'plastic pants' and wondering what the hell I'm missing in the World of Work
― kinder, Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:15 (three years ago) link
listing random shit is not marketing
― doorstep jetski (dog latin), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:21 (three years ago) link
"What is the DEAL with office carpets? So weird"
― doorstep jetski (dog latin), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:22 (three years ago) link
1) listing 2) random shit 3) is 4) totally marketing!5) LYSOL DOUCHE
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:26 (three years ago) link
Love me a buzzword
― doorstep jetski (dog latin), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:31 (three years ago) link
I did have a little chuckle when I saw Irvine Welsh's tweet.
― brain (krakow), Friday, 4 September 2020 17:51 (three years ago) link
This is soooo much better. Thanks @TheGreenParty pic.twitter.com/fczDuzBjpO— Katy Beale (@katybeale) September 4, 2020
― syphilitic wolf prose errata (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 5 September 2020 12:46 (three years ago) link
Absolutely no buzzwords, boss jokes or proper bants
The Green Party clearly don't have bloody Skype conference calls or Microsoft Teams.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 5 September 2020 12:56 (three years ago) link
I think the green party is promising you they'll not bant around.
― koogs, Saturday, 5 September 2020 13:56 (three years ago) link
No bants, no tricks.
― emil.y, Saturday, 5 September 2020 14:57 (three years ago) link
https://i.ibb.co/r7gjHCP/20200927-164341.jpg
― here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Sunday, 27 September 2020 15:46 (three years ago) link
what app is it?
― sarahell, Sunday, 27 September 2020 19:37 (three years ago) link
Train Line - like where you check train times and order tickets đ¤ˇđťââď¸
― here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Sunday, 27 September 2020 20:16 (three years ago) link
lol
― sarahell, Sunday, 27 September 2020 20:27 (three years ago) link
it's asking for feedback...
― koogs, Sunday, 27 September 2020 20:42 (three years ago) link
What youâll be doing at Pace Taking on and responding to a variety of fast-paced client briefs; from designing a short gif, to creating a fresh animation style to bring a campaign to life Youâll be working within the design team on exciting new pitches and client briefs, across a range of sectors Youâll be bringing content to life with bold, stand-out creativity across various platforms, from advertising to social media Youâll be working with a team of energetic, outgoing folk who are not just passionate about what they do as individuals, but who root for one another in their own specialisms and disciplines Youâll be part of a purpose-led team that has a real commitment to positively impacting society and the environment Youâll be having a laugh, every single day at work. Because the Pace team like to laugh, loudly. Just ask our neighbours!Perks of the job Weâre based in Hullâs creative centre in the Fruit Market. So, imagine leisurely lunch-time walks around the Marina and a cheeky drink after work down Humber Street. Youâll get your birthday off plus 25 days annual leave plus public holidays every year Youâll be part of the company-wide bonus scheme. Youâll enjoy lots of team events And biscuits (we love biscuits). And coffee. And cake. And our office dog, Tilly.
Taking on and responding to a variety of fast-paced client briefs; from designing a short gif, to creating a fresh animation style to bring a campaign to life Youâll be working within the design team on exciting new pitches and client briefs, across a range of sectors Youâll be bringing content to life with bold, stand-out creativity across various platforms, from advertising to social media Youâll be working with a team of energetic, outgoing folk who are not just passionate about what they do as individuals, but who root for one another in their own specialisms and disciplines Youâll be part of a purpose-led team that has a real commitment to positively impacting society and the environment Youâll be having a laugh, every single day at work. Because the Pace team like to laugh, loudly. Just ask our neighbours!
Perks of the job
Weâre based in Hullâs creative centre in the Fruit Market. So, imagine leisurely lunch-time walks around the Marina and a cheeky drink after work down Humber Street. Youâll get your birthday off plus 25 days annual leave plus public holidays every year Youâll be part of the company-wide bonus scheme. Youâll enjoy lots of team events And biscuits (we love biscuits). And coffee. And cake. And our office dog, Tilly.
― 1000 Scampo DJs (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 October 2020 10:43 (three years ago) link
When do you start?
― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:01 (three years ago) link
that's... not the worst i've seen, i'll admit
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:12 (three years ago) link
Working on the loudness of my laugh before I apply
― 1000 Scampo DJs (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:12 (three years ago) link