I hear the LOLs echoing tonight but she hears only ROFLs of some quiet EXCELSIOR

we could all use a little TMI fo sho

It's taking every ounce of willpower I have to not make a billion Facts of Life jokes

You know what the title of that book should be? "Yes, I Can If Andrew Cuomo Says It's OK". 'Cause Andrew calls the shots for all of those guys. Did you get to the part yet where uh...Bill is coming out of the Copa... it's about 3 o'clock in the morning and, uh, he sees Andrew? Andrew's walking down Broadway by himself...

― calstars, Saturday, 6 June 2020 12:23 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

<puts up dividing window>

― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 6 June 2020 12:31 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hahahaha

my concrete milkshake brings all the cops to the yard
and they're like, just beating me hard

― Dig Dug the police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, June 9, 2020 1:32 PM bookmarkflaglink

looool

they would taze me
but it has to charge

I've been taking my glasses off before heading into stores, to prevent my (inadequate, cloth) mask from fogging them. I usually leave them in the car, but if I forget to do that, I'll sometimes tuck them into the collar of my t-shirt. I've come across three pairs of someone else's broken, crushed glasses in parking lots in the past week.
― peace, man, Wednesday, June 10, 2020 5:38 PM

It's not fair...
THERE WAS TIME NOW
― Dig Dug the police (Neanderthal), Wednesday, June 10, 2020

they would taze me
but it has to charge

zing

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2020/06/15/reader-center/15virus-hp-fader-calif/15virus-hp-fader-calif-videoLarge.jpg
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Tuesday, June 16, 2020 4:35 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

imagine the protein shake farts

― assert (MatthewK), Tuesday, June 16, 2020 8:59 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It's easy if you try

― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, June 16, 2020 9:10 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

:D

re "Gaslighter":

This song is terrible. You're all insane.

― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, March 6, 2020 10:42 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

oh shit maybe he's right, maybe this song IS terrible and we all ARE insane

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Friday, March 6, 2020 10:50 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

hahaha

okay, i missed that lol

being that I'm an atheist, I find it pointless in general to invoke a guy I don't believe in to win an argument, so I tend to find it pointless.

most of those religious-appeal memes are indeed crap

― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:02 bookmarkflaglink

There’s definitely something about those memes that has an air of winning an argument with yourself. Insert any half-hearted invocation of religion, “conservative values” etc

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:06 bookmarkflaglink

when you finally do submit to yourself, though, what a feeling

― time is running out to pitch in $5 (Karl Malone), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:18 bookmarkflaglink

Being's believing
-Psalms 73:7

― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:34 bookmarkflaglink

update: at this moment, a portion of the intersectional left is having a heated discussion over whether we should adopt the metric system

― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 20:47 (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

give em an inch and they'll take a meter

― trapped out the barndo (crüt), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 20:50 (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

:D

calz on the q magazine thread: solid gold

subtle ILX in-joke

if you had seen cats you would not forget there was a cats

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Thursday, 23 July 2020 13:21 (yesterday) link

no lies detected

― k*r*n koltrane (Simon H.)

fwiw UMS, there have been two jazz BNMs this year with >8.0 scores, so maybe pitchfork agrees with you..

― rob, Monday, July 27, 2020 12:18 PM bookmarkflaglink

that's good! which ones?

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, July 27, 2020 12:58 PM bookmarkflaglink

fiona apple and bob dylan

― the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Monday, July 27, 2020 1:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

perfectly executed, skillfully done

now that I've been excelsior'd for making an actual funny I confess that I have no idea what "subtle joke" I was supposedly making in the previous one

I feel like I deserve some credit for my plot twist post an hour prior.

stay tuned

I'll send you 1/3 of my excelsiortificate xp

Seems more than fair, thx.

one more for you:

nypd police union sued to prevent the release of 20 years of discipline records but forgot mention pro publica lol
― mookieproof

and THAT'S why you don't skimp on the paperwork
― the quar on drugs (Simon H.)

It's funny and correct

Rename the thread “Simon Says”

I had a friend who was supposed to see Hadestown this year, he was crushed of course.

i guess I should get around to listening to it.

― Lady Antibody (Neanderthal), Tuesday, July 28, 2020 11:29 AM bookmarkflaglink

sorry about your friend getting crushed

[…]

― the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Tuesday, July 28, 2020 11:31 AM bookmarkflaglink

Simon just owning the Excelsiors lately!

making up for a lot of lean years

still giggling at this one, cos now i'm imagining my friend inside a trash compactor screaming

like the end of the Ninja Turtles movie from 1989

still can't believe they crushed April to death in a family film

all that goodwill, shredded

>sai<

Bossa nova!

Chevy Nova?

every time ppl talk trump and his "strategy" while predicting the coming month's events at length my eyes glaze over tbh

― the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Wednesday, July 29, 2020 6:55 AM

fuck is that a potential COVID symptom

― the quar on drugs (Simon H.)

an unmatched run

well, since deems stopped posting

Indeed.

deems's greatest flaw was being allergic to ILM. He'd still be around otherwise.

I blame Mourinho.

can COVID spread thru cheese?

― XVI Pedicabo eam (Neanderthal), Wednesday, July 29, 2020 10:45 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

Only Swiss, iirc.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, July 29, 2020 10:46 AM (twenty-two seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

haaaaa

lol ok

holesome lols

i like it

Heh, I don't think I've ever noticed it's Birx and not Brix.

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, August 3, 2020 2:36 PM bookmarkflaglink

wait'll you take a closer look at Senator Berenstain

― avellano medio inglés (f. hazel), Monday, August 3, 2020 2:42 PM bookmarkflaglink