abysmal real names

X Æ A-Xii

Chase Knobbe has, er, come up before.

Dr. Ingo Titze

― making gazebo money (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ)

Belongs in the other thread imo.

These issues rose to the forefront of the UES Mommas group on May 30. After repeated blowback, Addy Spriggle, a 38-year-old on the Upper East Side, asked Lindsey Plotnick Berger, the group’s administrator, to consider adding a black moderator.

Trump campaign spokesperson Mercedes Schlapp

Jazz Messengers bassist Spanky DeBrest

addy spriggle is a good one

posting names without checking they're already here is the lowest form of savagery, especially if the name was amongst the first five ever posted here

please forgive my base savagery. I have the page bookmarked, and haven't looked at the top of the page for a long time.

Chase Rice

C. Phi11ip Sme11ey

Think you might've initialled the wrong part of your name there, fella.

That's a Scottish name, I'm not saying it's common though, usually spelled Smellie.

Googleproofing as I don't think she deserves to accidentally find out someone thinks her name is terrible, but there's a contributor to a podcast I listen to, who is called D4gny P4ul. While the names on their own would be fine, together I can't help but imagine the most terrible libertarian asshole. As far as I am aware she is not an Ayn Rand loving, Ron Paul voting idiot.

ha yeah it's kind of fun to mentally pronounce that with a phoney hollywood southern drawl

Chad Wolf

lol

Theodore Yoho

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubert_Blaine_Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff_Sr.

Hubert Blaine Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff Sr. (a.k.a. Hubert Wolfstern,[2] Hubert B. Wolfe + 988 Sr.,[3] Hubert Blaine Wolfe+585 Sr.,[4] and Hubert Blaine Wolfe+590 Sr.,[5] among others) is the abbreviated name of a German-born American typesetter who has held the record for the longest personal name ever used. Hubert's name is made up from 27 names. Each of his 26 given names starts with a different letter of the English alphabet in alphabetical order; these are followed by an enormously long single-word surname. The exact length and spelling of his name has been a subject of considerable confusion due in part to its various renderings over the years, many of which are plagued by typographical errors. One of the longest and most reliable published versions, with a 988-letter surname, is as follows:

Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegel­steinhausen­bergerdorff­welche­vor­altern­waren­gewissenhaft­schafers­wessen­schafe­waren­wohl­gepflege­und­sorgfaltigkeit­beschutzen­vor­angreifen­durch­ihr­raubgierig­feinde­welche­vor­altern­zwolfhundert­tausend­jahres­voran­die­erscheinen­von­der­erste­erdemensch­der­raumschiff­genacht­mit­tungstein­und­sieben­iridium­elektrisch­motors­gebrauch­licht­als­sein­ursprung­von­kraft­gestart­sein­lange­fahrt­hinzwischen­sternartig­raum­auf­der­suchen­nachbarschaft­der­stern­welche­gehabt­bewohnbar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wohin­der­neue­rasse­von­verstandig­menschlichkeit­konnte­fortpflanzen­und­sich­erfreuen­an­lebenslanglich­freude­und­ruhe­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­angreifen­vor­anderer­intelligent­geschopfs­von­hinzwischen­sternartig­raum Sr.[3]

his name is my name too

https://youtube/yYMRjnM6j6w

Ah, I remember memorizing his name (up to and including ...dorff) from the Guinness Book of Records as a kid!

We are all Hubert Blaine Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff Sr.

... implies the existence of Jr, poor kid

Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff claimed that his great-grandfather composed the surname in the 19th century, when German Jews were obliged to take a second name.[24] In some printings of the above-noted AP wire story, Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff himself provided the following explanation of his prodigious surname:[25]

It tells a story of a wolf-killer, a resident of a stonehouse in a village, whose ancestors were conscientious shepherds whose sheep were well fed and carefully guarded against attack by ferocious enemies and whose ancestors 1,200,000 years before the first earth man, in a space ship made with tungsten and seven iridium motors and using light as a source of power, started a long journey across interstellar space, searching for a star around which was an inhabitable planet where they could establish a new race of intelligent mankind and where they would live long, happy lives and be free from attack by other intelligentsia from the outer space from whence they came.

we're in the wrong "real names" thread!

I met Abbie Downton the other day

At a drag show?

Christopher Hollister Trump-Retchin

Madison Brengle

Rookie of the year in Syracuse AA-ball back in 2016 but never developed any pop in his bat. Starting to think seriously about that dealership in Tampa his former hitting coach has been bugging him about, says he can name it Brengle Chevy if he wants.

Madison Brengle is in fact a female tennis player who's been accused of match-fixing. So you're not too far off

I knew a Brengle family growing up, they were insane evangelical Christians, parents got divorced after father had affair. Both kids were very handsome and totally nuts.

chick drewrey

You’ve gotta love Mississippi politics. #Bilbo #VoteSnuffy #msleg #mspol pic.twitter.com/ZdhKm4sJFM

— J. Robertson (@JRobertsonMS) October 14, 2020

marissa hiney

"The big money is the chemistry between the two of them, the combination between the two of them. Look at the day after he picked her, money went gaga, went crazy,” said Dick Harpootlian, a longtime Biden friend and donor.

aw, that’s harsh. I’ll give you Dick, but Harpootliyan is just a nice Armenian name that indicates his ancestors were from the Ottoman town of Harput.

I dunno. You can say that, but it make me envision alien poot harpoons.

that would make it a cool name tho

Br@y V W33tman

Cool name or silver age comic villain?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dickson_Despommier

The middle initial is just gratuitous though...

Poor little mite.

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/birthday-card-plea-oscar-jealous-19246362

Gentry Stein

I just cannot be mature and professional when reading this paper
https://i.imgur.com/7PkLrxb.png

"Big" Don Abernathy

"Gabb" Don Abernebbthy

Nobody knows what that’s even in reference to.

Lol

assert (MatthewK) - Now I've got the Shel Silverstein song "I'm Being Eaten by a Boa Constrictor" stuck in my head.

My oldest granddaughter Christie Nicklaus – my son Jack’s 2nd-oldest child – just married Todger Strunk. What a beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful couple! They look like they were made for each other. Barbara and I wish them happiness and love for an eternity! @CNStrunk pic.twitter.com/lfiVBuPheu

— Jack Nicklaus (@jacknicklaus) December 14, 2020

So abysmal it's gone viral, but perhaps slightly too colourful and prurient for this thread's true purpose

The surname really makes it though.

strunk so white