love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

At least now you don't need an app to tell which wankers in your area are tory voters, all doubt is removed when you see who is banging their pot the loudest every thursday evening.

We've been getting some cunt who gets into his car and blares the horn - from 8:05!

I was walking past some grand old and new posh houses near the rectory last thursday and some of demented these pot bangers were staring right at me as i walked past them with dog and a can in my hand. i was waiting for the Donald Sutherland in Invasion of The Bodysnatchers pointing thing to happen!

Might still have a vuvuzela knocking about from the 2010 World Cup to really show my appreciation.

I want to see roy castle tap-dancing with his trumpet!

that might be difficult...

not for the lack of dedication!

It's definitely a vision of what the next world will be like!

Honk if you're Horny for Health Heroes

fond memories of the early years of the lockdown when this was just an empty but essentially benign gesture

Little bit of history here: UK govt just sold bonds at a negative yield for the first time ever. £3.75bn of conventional 3 year bonds (eg not index-linked) at -0.003%.
Investors literally paying the government to take their money… pic.twitter.com/YSIqoBBe5I

— Ed Conway (@EdConwaySky) May 20, 2020

What we effectively have here is the wages of millions of people being paid by investors who think that they will lose even more money putting that cash pretty much anywhere else. I'm guessing these are mostly investments being made on behalf of pensioners or people who will be pensioners soon.

The potential for the government to do a lot more with that cash in the reconstruction is enormous but that's the point at which they will suddenly decide enough is enough.

"If we are to harvest British fruit and vegetables this year, we need an army of people to help."

The Prince of Wales has shared a message in support of the #PickForBritain campaign. 🍓🍏🍅@DefraGovUK pic.twitter.com/a7WIDYo7E0

— Clarence House (@ClarenceHouse) May 19, 2020

In North Korea he would be joining us to pick the crops amirite

Seems short-sighted to have so many children unable to go to school and so many soft fruits that need to be picked and not have identified a perfect Uzbek-style solution to kill two birds with one stone.

*languidly indicating a chimney that could also do with sweeping*

PM says he's thought a lot about the NHS surcharge for non EEA staff to use the health service. Acknowledges he was just treated by someone who would have had to pay it! Who saved his life.

Johnson: "I do think that is the right way forward."

He said it makes money. #PMQs

— Kate Proctor (@Kate_M_Proctor) May 20, 2020

Charles should tread carefully here, his younger brother got into serious trouble with the feds for asking children to harvest his plums.

some other things which make money

*charging relatives of executed political prisoners for the cost of the bullet
*melted down gold teeth
*selling fighter jets to authoritarian regimes, oh hang on

Lol @ this interview:

Kerala's "rockstar" Health Minister @shailajateacher sharing the state's #COVID19 story live on BBC World News 🔥

(Part 1/3) pic.twitter.com/GM8VI8hlLO

— Siddharth🌹 (@DearthOfSid) May 18, 2020

This interviewer can't believe Kerala are not actually fucking this up like we are.

Hilariously, the call has gone out to Conservative MPs to dash back to the House of Commons from pandemic isolation in their homes to give the PM moral support in a Chamber that was quiet as a graveyard during Sir Keir’s last two attacks.

A little bit of Darwin Awards, as a treat.

Lol:

MPs have just voted by 350 to 258, govt majority 92, to discontinue remote participation in Commons on 2 June pic.twitter.com/m5U4UCdpbc

— John Rentoul (@JohnRentoul) May 20, 2020

time to start a parliamentary dead pool lads

are MPs gonna be allowed to stay at home if they don't think it's safe?

I’m at Clapham Junction and I have never seen anything like it for quiet. Real Sunday 2am stuff.

Not a massive amount of mask wearing. Possibly linked to the “govt advice is to consider wearing a mask” announcements.

i've still not worn one - from everything i'd heard the govt lack of buying PPE tied with non medical stuff buying all the masks up meant there weren't enough for people who genuinely needed them so it was selfish as fuck for me to go buy one when i'm socially isolating at home, not getting close to anyone when i do go out and so dont need it.... but then today i see on my socials someone posting that not wearing a mask when you go out is "a sign of privilege". so yeah confused.

people will say anything to feel superior

that said if you're going to mix with people a mask isn't a bad idea idk, but if you're steering clear it's probably an indulgence. of course if we were all given proper medical-grade masks then it'd be much easier and almost second-nature to do it regardless

Medical-grade protects you, even a cloth face covering helps protect others is what I understand about it. And especially in confined spaces like buses

not wearing a mask when you go out is "a sign of privilege".

That's so much utterly backwards nonsense. I actually don't know where to get a mask. Are there shops stocking them? I suppose I could look on Amazon but that's because I have an internet connection and a credit card.

I don't like the language of 'provilege' especially but, and this also shouldn't need saying, having to go out is clearly not something everyone can reasonably avoid just because they don't have a mask.

Provilege? Don't know the meaning of the word.

Absolutely recommend a keffiyah / shemagh if you want to simultaneously have some level of protection without taking PPE away from healthcare providers and look like you're in the PLO.

or joining The Locust

obv

I did enjoy the terror1st chic effect when attempting to wear a scarf over my face one time but it kept falling down and defeating the whole purpose.

Hooligan chic I should say. People did actually seem to be giving me a wider berth.

Get some military surplus scrim scarf in olive paired with a black beret for the ira colour party look

An unmasked/ungloved person assuming privilege is a real thing though - particularly if they’re just breezing on through, pausing only to get annoyed at people who are dressed for protection, who are judged to be unclean or in the way. The privilege is assuming others will make way for you. Context was seeing obnoxious middle aged/class man going apeshit at a BAME youth for not backing himself up fast enough when MCW was trying to pass, and that being one of a few witnessed interactions of that type.

Denmark is giving out masks on public transport.

The United States is arresting/macing/tazing people who don’t look rich and don’t wear masks.

So there’s a couple of options the UK could take.

In seriousness the UK attitude on masks (this thread, general public, the government) seems to be a global outlier.

next to no one is wearing masks here

we weren't hit like the uk mind

Right but it seems like no one is wearing them in the uk and most people wouldn’t know where to get one.

My wife ordered us tailor made masks which I'm sure are medically useless but look really cool and I'm sure would at least prevent me breathing on people if I'd set foot in a building that wasn't mine for the past month and a half.

i ordered some from etsy like a month ago and they have yet to arrive so i made a janky one out of a shirt.

“Medically useless” is the thing though. They’re not medically useless for the people you’re sharing a lift/bus/tube with.

There are so many de facto experiments being conducted right now on what works in practice and I’m sure we’ll find out if mask wearing/closing parks/2m *actually *worked to slow the spread in a few months. But in the meantime there’s very good lab based evidence that they help. A tiny bit of leadership here from the uk govt would have quickly had vendors selling masks on every corner like they have elsewhere.

I’ve been using clean scarves and tenugi cloths (and sacrificed the least interesting tenugi cloth to a friend with a sewing machine, who made it into a mask for me).

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYfYLRFWoAQcKip?format=jpg&name=large

There will be thousands of vacancies opening up on farms across the country in the coming weeks and we have already seen a fantastic response from the public wanting to pick for Britain this summer.

I know of one leading politician who was picking for Britain even before the current crisis.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/d63d3f2b39430935e344bd01b46b8a8206cb715f/0_109_793_476/master/793.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=4a3528301f7d494143dd9b9439784e67

This us a tough read. How two care homes have coped:

Spent the day in Oxfordshire talking to carers

They tell a tale of the mistakes of this crisis, how the differences between expensive care homes and more modest ones and good and bad companies help determine who lives and who dies for both residents and carers.

Thread.

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) May 20, 2020