US Politics, May 2020 — I will never lie to you. You have my word on that.

Why is the cubic polynomial fit dumb? Seems to approximate the existing data pretty well?

Oh sweet! That means we can stop distancing cos then new infections will just even out!

For nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut campaign (Death Star). It is firing on all cylinders. Data, Digital, TV, Political, Surrogates, Coalitions, etc.

In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time. pic.twitter.com/aJgCNfx1m0

— Brad Parscale - Download our Trump 2020 App today! (@parscale) May 7, 2020

much to lol at there, but "Political"...?

Trending in Canada
Death Star
12.5K Tweets

I assume 90% of those are gifs of Alec Guinness saying "I fear something terrible has happened"

there is a disturbance in the Farce

James Carville's a piece of shit who should be devoured by hogs, but this clip amused me:

Carville on Trump: "They’re a pack of grifters. His campaign manager got two condos, a Ferrari, a yacht, a Range Rover and they’re all just fleecing the campaign. This is all about making money and they’re going in there and giving him fake polls."pic.twitter.com/rigtoZHt5w

— PoliticsVideoChannel (@politvidchannel) May 7, 2020

like a crumblin' empiah, right before ya eyes

One of Trump's valets tested positive for COVID-19.

lol these people are so fucking stupid

For nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut campaign (Death Star). It is firing on all cylinders. Data, Digital, TV, Political, Surrogates, Coalitions, etc.

In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time. pic.twitter.com/aJgCNfx1m0

— Brad Parscale - Download our Trump 2020 App today! (@parscale) May 7, 2020

he's not wrong at calling this a kleptocracy

"In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time."
*death star explodes*

I get that the fact the DS got blowed up twice is the key self-own here, but before that happened they used it to commit genocide, which seems also relevant

It is firing on all cylinders? Would have thought a juggernaut Republican Death Star would have better than an internal combustion engine.

This shit is too on-the-nose to even function as self-parody anymore. Is there a word for an allusion that's actually just a word-for-word transcription? Because we're nearing that point, I feel.

before that happened they used it to commit genocide, which seems also relevant

Don't worry; that'll be self-directed, too. Fox News hosts are starting to encourage their (largely 60+) viewers to go outside and catch COVID-19 to "build herd immunity."

Fox News' Pete Hegseth calls for people to go out and get infected by coronavirus: "Now that we are learning more, herd immunity is our friend. Healthy people getting out there -- they are going to have to have some courage." pic.twitter.com/PCSHm9yUAW

— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona) May 7, 2020

so much courage

Herd immunity: you first

herd immunity: where some humans are asked to become animals

Guinea pigs are not herd animals.

Forget about overpraised healthcare workers, Fox News' Pete Hegseth knows who the real heroes are: the people who have been told that this virus is 5 to 10 times more deadly than influenza, that it is estimated that on average one infected person will infect 5 more people who in turn will each infect 5 more, and who have seen the charts showing that in a few short weeks the virus went from a couple of daily deaths to being the leading cause of death in the USA ahead of cancer or heart disease, and yet are capable of rendering their minds totally blank to all these facts and act as if they did not exist, so they can wander around infecting each other. Heroes, indeed!

He also says this while he broadcasts in isolation from a home camera.

In February 2019, Hegseth said on Fox & Friends that he didn't think he had washed his hands in ten years. He explained: “I inoculate myself. Germs are not a real thing. I can't see them, therefore they're not real.” He later claimed that he was joking.

I actually misread his name as Hogsbreath.

christ what an asshole

🚨🚨 SCOOP --> WASHINGTON (AP) — Justice Department is dropping criminal case against ex-Trump adviser Flynn, according to court filing obtained by AP.

— Mike Balsamo (@MikeBalsamo1) May 7, 2020

Thus saving President Trump the political embarrassment of issuing Flynn a pardon.

can he be re-prosecuted once we have a real administration?

(i'm fully aware biden will probably pull a 'we will not prosecute the former administration' shit to 'move the country forward' or some crap)

Prepared to be wrong on this, but I suspect this isn't the end of the Flynn case.

It's so hard not to read this as a signal for Barr and the DOJ that they will fully support Trump should he choose to ignore the results of an election.

do we think trump can parse 'signals' or that people go to the effort to signal anything to him

idg why they're going through all this rigamarole? trump suffered no political damage from pardoning a literal war criminal; why would he be squeamish about using one on flynn?

it's not a signal to him, but for him, a signal to the rest of us that there's no line they won't cross. xpost

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/05/07/trump-valet-positive-coronavirus-test-242619

hmm

i'm thinking trump's pandemic response pushes him from "among the worst u.s. presidents" to "the very worst u.s. president"

i really thought he couldn't possibly beat Bush II for a long time but... this is pushing it

and close to the worst Speaker

"Pelosi has run the House by fiat for close to two months, and there hasn’t been a single word of protest as she locks every other member of the Democratic caucus out of policymaking and hands them take-it-or-leave-it legislation to rubber stamp." -@ddayenhttps://t.co/ow623Vj6tv

— “Ideas That Are Lying Around” (@_waleedshahid) May 7, 2020

yass queen etc

But but guys she clapped weird at Trump.

it's not a signal to him, but for him, a signal to the rest of us that there's no line they won't cross. xpost

― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, May 7, 2020 5:18 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

this is the corniest part of trump, the fact that he is the most X-TREME president in history. in reality, he has been furthering the GOP's longstanding project to undermine american society for the benefit of short-term profits.

Fucking Barr saying on the news that the Flynn case had to be dropped because it presented two standards of justice in America based on political partisanship right after a story where Ahman Aubrey's father said basically the same thing based on the color of one's skin. Barr is such a disgusting creep. If there were any real justice, he would be in jail.

he can get COVID too. actually maybe him first

these people will be folk heroes for the right for my entire life and nothing bad will ever happen to them.

https://www.bisnow.com/atlanta/news/retail/for-georgia-restaurants-and-retailers-its-not-landlords-that-cause-the-pressure-104166

The first of 40 U.S. Bad Axe Throwing venues to reopen since widespread shelter-in-place orders were issued across the country was in Atlanta on Friday.

Bad Axe CEO Mario Zelaya expected business to be bad, maybe 10% of the hundreds of customers he would expect to see throw axes and drink beer on a typical weekend. “That was the worst-case scenario, especially with all the marketing we did,” Zelaya said. “The reopening weekend was a disaster. We had two customers all weekend."

Marc fucking Thiessen, WAPO's token right-wing piece of fucking shit, with a think-piece on how businesses that reopen early will need protection from a "pandemic" of lawsuits. These people are like a slurry of food poisoning shits.

Bad Axe CEO Mario Zelaya expected business to be bad, maybe 10% of the hundreds of customers he would expect to see throw axes and drink beer on a typical weekend.

sorry WTF is this business please?

excited too be frog marched out of my apartment to Bad Axe Throwing and forced to drink beer for the economy

you drink beer and throw axes idk what so hard to understand /s