US Politics, May 2020 — I will never lie to you. You have my word on that.

"abolish politicians who have served for more than 10 years"

Bye Bernie, we hardly knew ye.

we'll let him Cyrano a young budding politician who is struggling to find his voice. sort of like a ghostwriter

The partisan gap in the latest CNBC battleground state poll shows a divide between delusion and reality:

Is it safe to go to a:
Nail salon: 77% R; 9% D
Dine-in restaurant: 70% R; 5% D
Bar: 52% R; 4% D
Large sporting event: 37% R; 2% D

Is the economy in a recession?
50% R; 89% D

— Brian Klaas (@brianklaas) May 6, 2020

eek

I'm starting to hate Kushner as much as his father-in-law.

Once Trump is out of office, the Congress is going to have to actually do some work and change the rules on some of this sh!t.

not going to hold my breath on this one. Republicans would never do it for ideological reasons, Democrats will never do it because they never do anything.

I would rather go to a baseball game with thousands of other people (not 40k but maybe 10k?) than step foot in a nail salon or get my hair cut.

xp re: to poll
"It's merely a flesh wound!"

Recently realized that the Democratic party is perfectly summed up by a joke Norman Finkelstein once told me, about a man who is such a schmuck that if there was a worldwide schmuck competition he would come in second

— Shuja Haider (@shujaxhaider) May 7, 2020

Good morning!

Ah! Well, nevertheless,

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/05/07/us/coronavirus-states-reopen-criteria.html

A visual demonstration of how dumb a cubic polynomial fit is with this data:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXWWy7eUYAAlDw-?format=jpg

Why is the cubic polynomial fit dumb? Seems to approximate the existing data pretty well?

Is it because you don’t expect the # of USA cases to fall off?

learned something from Roy Cohn I guess

https://foreignpolicy.com/2020/05/06/trump-pence-pentagon-point-man-disloyal/

Why is the cubic polynomial fit dumb? Seems to approximate the existing data pretty well?

Oh sweet! That means we can stop distancing cos then new infections will just even out!

For nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut campaign (Death Star). It is firing on all cylinders. Data, Digital, TV, Political, Surrogates, Coalitions, etc.

In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time. pic.twitter.com/aJgCNfx1m0

— Brad Parscale - Download our Trump 2020 App today! (@parscale) May 7, 2020

much to lol at there, but "Political"...?

Trending in Canada
Death Star
12.5K Tweets

I assume 90% of those are gifs of Alec Guinness saying "I fear something terrible has happened"

there is a disturbance in the Farce

James Carville's a piece of shit who should be devoured by hogs, but this clip amused me:

Carville on Trump: "They’re a pack of grifters. His campaign manager got two condos, a Ferrari, a yacht, a Range Rover and they’re all just fleecing the campaign. This is all about making money and they’re going in there and giving him fake polls."pic.twitter.com/rigtoZHt5w

— PoliticsVideoChannel (@politvidchannel) May 7, 2020

like a crumblin' empiah, right before ya eyes

One of Trump's valets tested positive for COVID-19.

lol these people are so fucking stupid

For nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut campaign (Death Star). It is firing on all cylinders. Data, Digital, TV, Political, Surrogates, Coalitions, etc.

In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time. pic.twitter.com/aJgCNfx1m0

— Brad Parscale - Download our Trump 2020 App today! (@parscale) May 7, 2020

he's not wrong at calling this a kleptocracy

"In a few days we start pressing FIRE for the first time."
*death star explodes*

I get that the fact the DS got blowed up twice is the key self-own here, but before that happened they used it to commit genocide, which seems also relevant

It is firing on all cylinders? Would have thought a juggernaut Republican Death Star would have better than an internal combustion engine.

This shit is too on-the-nose to even function as self-parody anymore. Is there a word for an allusion that's actually just a word-for-word transcription? Because we're nearing that point, I feel.

before that happened they used it to commit genocide, which seems also relevant

Don't worry; that'll be self-directed, too. Fox News hosts are starting to encourage their (largely 60+) viewers to go outside and catch COVID-19 to "build herd immunity."

Fox News' Pete Hegseth calls for people to go out and get infected by coronavirus: "Now that we are learning more, herd immunity is our friend. Healthy people getting out there -- they are going to have to have some courage." pic.twitter.com/PCSHm9yUAW

— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona) May 7, 2020

so much courage

Herd immunity: you first

herd immunity: where some humans are asked to become animals

Guinea pigs are not herd animals.

Forget about overpraised healthcare workers, Fox News' Pete Hegseth knows who the real heroes are: the people who have been told that this virus is 5 to 10 times more deadly than influenza, that it is estimated that on average one infected person will infect 5 more people who in turn will each infect 5 more, and who have seen the charts showing that in a few short weeks the virus went from a couple of daily deaths to being the leading cause of death in the USA ahead of cancer or heart disease, and yet are capable of rendering their minds totally blank to all these facts and act as if they did not exist, so they can wander around infecting each other. Heroes, indeed!

He also says this while he broadcasts in isolation from a home camera.

In February 2019, Hegseth said on Fox & Friends that he didn't think he had washed his hands in ten years. He explained: “I inoculate myself. Germs are not a real thing. I can't see them, therefore they're not real.” He later claimed that he was joking.

I actually misread his name as Hogsbreath.

christ what an asshole

🚨🚨 SCOOP --> WASHINGTON (AP) — Justice Department is dropping criminal case against ex-Trump adviser Flynn, according to court filing obtained by AP.

— Mike Balsamo (@MikeBalsamo1) May 7, 2020

Thus saving President Trump the political embarrassment of issuing Flynn a pardon.

can he be re-prosecuted once we have a real administration?

(i'm fully aware biden will probably pull a 'we will not prosecute the former administration' shit to 'move the country forward' or some crap)

Prepared to be wrong on this, but I suspect this isn't the end of the Flynn case.

It's so hard not to read this as a signal for Barr and the DOJ that they will fully support Trump should he choose to ignore the results of an election.

do we think trump can parse 'signals' or that people go to the effort to signal anything to him

idg why they're going through all this rigamarole? trump suffered no political damage from pardoning a literal war criminal; why would he be squeamish about using one on flynn?

it's not a signal to him, but for him, a signal to the rest of us that there's no line they won't cross. xpost

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/05/07/trump-valet-positive-coronavirus-test-242619

hmm