love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

If I was Khan I'd already be concerned about the very real possibility of a Mair type deranged assassin coming after me as London mayor never mind Labour party leader and might think it too dangerous a move to make in what is a right wing emboldened and quite deranged political milieu right now. But that's as far as my sympathy and empathy goes with this fucking creep!

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/feb/01/matt-hancock-mp-app-released

so the app has launched will anyone be downloading it

not even with Starmers cold dead severed hands!

If I was Khan I'd already be concerned about the very real possibility of a Mair type deranged assassin coming after me as London mayor never mind Labour party leader and might think it too dangerous a move to make in what is a right wing emboldened and quite deranged political milieu right now. But that's as far as my sympathy and empathy goes with this fucking creep!

That Novara thing has been silently deleted, huh

'ending with a smile' is as old as the hills - that's all that was.

The attached graphic about trust in the written press, published last week, has not been widely reported in Britain. This is a huge annual survey by @EurobarometerEU across 33 countries. It's the ninth year out of the past ten that the UK has been last. We have a problem. pic.twitter.com/8eYoQR7XZw

— Brian Cathcart (@BrianCathcart) May 5, 2020

going out on top, baby!

British public are good again.

Clarification: This morning we shared a clip of a paper review on the Today programme cut together with the headlines being discussed in which the Guardian's headline was replaced with story about otters.

— Novara Media (@novaramedia) May 6, 2020

Interesting: PHE ordering govt comms hubs to take down all “Stay Home” messaging by Saturday night. Looks like we are getting a new slogan from PM... told: “Please ensure that all Stay Home messaging is removed from websites, social media and any other available channels“

— Harry Cole (@MrHarryCole) May 6, 2020

“Wash your hands for the length of we’ll meet again and get to fucking work peasants” is it

Go Forth And Multiply.

boris 'regrets' the care home epidemic, apparently, which presumably means that he's neither apologetic nor responsible but he gets to say something platitudinous that cretins will give him credit for

Whatever this is I have a suspicion we're about to witness a fuckup of genuinely historical proportions.

i can't see how it leads to anything else tbh

to not even wait and see how easing lockdowns plays out in france and italy before we even start thinking about our next step seems basically genocidal

we still don't have enough PPE, capacity for adequate testing/contract tracing etc to cope with getting hit by a 2nd spike. I just can't think what could possibly go right.

but red line go down tho

still don't have enough PPE to even cope with now when we are supposedly past the peak

no it's fine now, i hear schoolkids are making it with 3d printers

Feels like Boris has a whole new coalition to try and keep together between the emerging ardent-capitalist back-to-work fucks faction and the, idk, let's-not-kill-the-olds faction? In other circumstances you'd love to see it – feels like they were united as a party for about three weeks after he sacked all the Remainers.

And it does seem like Boris is on the side of the let's-not-die faction, which is not where I'd have put him, near-death experience or no

give him some time

I doubt he would have been had he not shat himself over his clog-popping episode.

In fact, I'm certain of it as he doesn't care about anyone other than Boris Johnson.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXVKrS-UcAA43Ks?format=jpg&name=small

Juist a humble wee crofter wi' his bonnie tartan curtains!

I'm not really sure who they are planning on sending back to work next week? It can't be schools, surely? Non-essential shops?

I wonder if businesses themselves have taken legal advice over what to do if employees start dying because they've been rushed back.

media drip feeding of stuff about necessity of resuming bau asap has already been influencing the attitudes of my (usually anti-tory) IRL associates sadly. really terrible idea

Reinforces the idea that the reason business isn't being done is because of the lockdown, rather than because of the virus. Decisions were being put on hold, redundancies were being mooted, investment was being pulled before the lockdown and it isn't going to magically come back because it has been lifted.

if schools aren’t open how is anyone going to go back to work? innit

Take your kid to work day would be a right blast when pops' works at an industrial battery hen barn!

Schools will be at the start of June but likely to only be certain grades. I'd expect them to have stronger restrictions over the number of learners in a classroom, mandate lunch in shifts, etc, but can't realistically see them shutting individual schools down for deep cleaning, isolating classes, etc, if pupils show symptoms.

Wondering what the scientific consensus is about the R0 number right now and what that's expected to look like in three or four weeks' time.

Could it be they're floating random stuff again to gauge what they'll be able to get away with? Optimistic, I know.

Sounds like one malicious person could send thousands of people into self-isolation by riding around the Circle Line all day. Is this what happens when you try to get on the testing and contact tracing app bandwagon, without a proper testing infrastructure? https://t.co/NIda6ZtptZ

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) May 6, 2020

Oh dear.

Back to the drawing board eh lads? Well probably not

Ideas for the Gatwick drone guy if he's still around.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXVYKa_U0AI8XKO?format=jpg&name=medium

Hyperrealist depiction of today's PMQ's.

Extraordinary analysis from #DowningStreetBriefing pic.twitter.com/rFbqedGDUM

— JamesClayton (@JamesClayton5) May 6, 2020

so if i’m only getting 80% of my salary does that mean it’s “increased over time” since i didn’t have a job for the first 16 years of my life?

Nadia Whittome MP sacked from her care home job for speaking up about lack of PPE in the sector. Fuck this sideways.

ffs

Sickening

Was just coming here to post. Cunts. Cunts!

EXCLUSIVE Labour MP Nadia Whittome sacked as carer for speaking out about PPE shortageshttps://t.co/teMzfMJlFD pic.twitter.com/d1aMponf7V

— Nicola Bartlett (@NicolaRBartlett) May 6, 2020

What exactly were they expecting when they hired an Opposition MP?

didn't she previously work at this care home before she was an MP?

Starmer holding the government's own graph at Johnson when Boris was waffling on about not comparing the death rate to other countries was pretty funny, mind. Forensic my arse, it was an open goal but it did at least require some composure in the moment.

In general Johnson just seemed like it hadn't even occurred to him to prepare an answer to this most predictable of all questions but he did at least manage to get "stay at home, protect the NHS, save lives" in there so everyone will be convinced he has the best interests of the nation at heart.

Spiegelhalter, tweeted: “Polite request to PM and others: please stop using my Guardian article to claim we cannot make any international comparisons yet. I refer only to detailed league tables-of course we should now use other countries to try and learn why our numbers are high”.

the statistician boris was quoting out of context at PMQ is politely telling him to stfu

In general Johnson just seemed like it hadn't even occurred to him to prepare an answer to this most predictable of all questions

Yes, his 'near death' experience hasn't changed a thing, still winging it like a lazy arrogant cunt.

there is a self-congratulatory arsehole cop story doing the rounds in Yorkshire about a nipper who accidentally phoned 999. when the police did a welfare check they found a mother and child in a house with zero food and starving. Thanks to the goodhearted generosity of lots of virtuous law-abiding Yorkshire tory voters they got some supermarket brand dry foods and a few tins of beans from a foodbank. it just warms my heart so much, hope all concerned clapped themselves off afterwards!