I hear the LOLs echoing tonight but she hears only ROFLs of some quiet EXCELSIOR

lol

haha perfect

Pittleyick in Lyongdyang

FTR "Grancy" is ALMOST as clever as "Obummer" so, points for that.

― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, April 27, 2020 4:01 PM bookmarkflaglink

well I think *** **** wd get me banned

― brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Monday, April 27, 2020 4:04 PM bookmarkflaglink

hen...faps?

― dip to dup (rob), Monday, April 27, 2020 4:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

so glad I got to participate in this shitshow

― brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Monday, 27 April 2020 20:16 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

what -- life?

― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 April 2020 20:16 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

an electric word, it means forever

― stone cold jane austen (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 27 April 2020 20:18 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

looool

Statistics show cyanide pills overwhelmingly kill the people who had them installed

― Mordy, Tuesday, 28 April 2020 17:15 (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Edited for maximum LOLs:

I saw an article about a doctor who flays the penis and puts a sleeve around it for length and girth, I imagine recovery is tough.

― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Friday, May 1, 2020 8:44 PM bookmarkflaglink

doctor who flays the penis

― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Saturday, May 2, 2020 5:09 AM bookmarkflaglink

that were good, that

ffs I just spent the last hour desperately searching for that ep!

ha

something v lynchian about the unremarked-upon but deeply unsettling presence of the furry

― Millennials are using this app to speak in just 3 weeks. (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, May 3, 2020 2:37 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

There's sometimes a furry.

― jmm, Sunday, May 3, 2020 2:42 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Ha!

My husband finally broke and got out the clippers, buzzed his shaggy head right down. Now he wanders the house, listening to work calls in his big beats headphones, mostly silent and staring straight ahead, and I wonder why I’m suddenly living with Lobot.

― Kim, Friday, May 15, 2020 2:09 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Living with Lobot coming to Disney+ this August

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, May 15, 2020 2:40 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

What is the Best School of Magic?

Miss Cackle's Academy for Witches

― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, May 24, 2020 1:24 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Meanwhile, in America, the "Deep State Mapping Project" is here to show you how this whole thing is a false flag disinformation op intended to subvert the 2020 election...and it goes all the way back to 1918!
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/EY88a7dU8AIodki.jpg
― but also fuck you (unperson), Tuesday, May 26, 2020 3:45 PM

man, there's nobody keith haring's estate won't collab with
― ruin a band name by changing one litter (voodoo chili), Tuesday, May 26, 2020 3:49 PM

The Mad magazine reference afterward was good too.

young and dumb and full of cum-ly
the girl from ipanema goes walking

?

― forensic plumber (harbl), Tuesday, May 26, 2020 3:21 PM bookmarkflaglink

incredible

And when she passes, each one she passes goes
"A-a-ah!"

Thought this was a widely-known acronym outside of ilx, but TMI = Tooty Menstrual Intercourse

― peace, man, Wednesday, May 27, 2020 3:19 PM bookmarkflaglink

I needed that today.

we could all use a little TMI fo sho

It's taking every ounce of willpower I have to not make a billion Facts of Life jokes

You know what the title of that book should be? "Yes, I Can If Andrew Cuomo Says It's OK". 'Cause Andrew calls the shots for all of those guys. Did you get to the part yet where uh...Bill is coming out of the Copa... it's about 3 o'clock in the morning and, uh, he sees Andrew? Andrew's walking down Broadway by himself...

― calstars, Saturday, 6 June 2020 12:23 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

<puts up dividing window>

― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 6 June 2020 12:31 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hahahaha

my concrete milkshake brings all the cops to the yard
and they're like, just beating me hard

― Dig Dug the police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, June 9, 2020 1:32 PM bookmarkflaglink

looool

they would taze me
but it has to charge

I've been taking my glasses off before heading into stores, to prevent my (inadequate, cloth) mask from fogging them. I usually leave them in the car, but if I forget to do that, I'll sometimes tuck them into the collar of my t-shirt. I've come across three pairs of someone else's broken, crushed glasses in parking lots in the past week.
― peace, man, Wednesday, June 10, 2020 5:38 PM

It's not fair...
THERE WAS TIME NOW
― Dig Dug the police (Neanderthal), Wednesday, June 10, 2020

they would taze me
but it has to charge

zing

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2020/06/15/reader-center/15virus-hp-fader-calif/15virus-hp-fader-calif-videoLarge.jpg
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Tuesday, June 16, 2020 4:35 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

imagine the protein shake farts

― assert (MatthewK), Tuesday, June 16, 2020 8:59 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It's easy if you try

― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, June 16, 2020 9:10 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

:D

re "Gaslighter":

This song is terrible. You're all insane.

― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, March 6, 2020 10:42 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

oh shit maybe he's right, maybe this song IS terrible and we all ARE insane

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Friday, March 6, 2020 10:50 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

hahaha

okay, i missed that lol

being that I'm an atheist, I find it pointless in general to invoke a guy I don't believe in to win an argument, so I tend to find it pointless.

most of those religious-appeal memes are indeed crap

― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:02 bookmarkflaglink

There’s definitely something about those memes that has an air of winning an argument with yourself. Insert any half-hearted invocation of religion, “conservative values” etc

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:06 bookmarkflaglink

when you finally do submit to yourself, though, what a feeling

― time is running out to pitch in $5 (Karl Malone), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:18 bookmarkflaglink

Being's believing
-Psalms 73:7

― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), maandag 6 juli 2020 1:34 bookmarkflaglink

update: at this moment, a portion of the intersectional left is having a heated discussion over whether we should adopt the metric system

― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 20:47 (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

give em an inch and they'll take a meter

― trapped out the barndo (crüt), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 20:50 (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

:D

calz on the q magazine thread: solid gold

subtle ILX in-joke

if you had seen cats you would not forget there was a cats

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Thursday, 23 July 2020 13:21 (yesterday) link

no lies detected

― k*r*n koltrane (Simon H.)

fwiw UMS, there have been two jazz BNMs this year with >8.0 scores, so maybe pitchfork agrees with you..

― rob, Monday, July 27, 2020 12:18 PM bookmarkflaglink

that's good! which ones?

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, July 27, 2020 12:58 PM bookmarkflaglink

fiona apple and bob dylan

― the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Monday, July 27, 2020 1:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

perfectly executed, skillfully done

now that I've been excelsior'd for making an actual funny I confess that I have no idea what "subtle joke" I was supposedly making in the previous one

I feel like I deserve some credit for my plot twist post an hour prior.

stay tuned

I'll send you 1/3 of my excelsiortificate xp

Seems more than fair, thx.

one more for you:

nypd police union sued to prevent the release of 20 years of discipline records but forgot mention pro publica lol
― mookieproof

and THAT'S why you don't skimp on the paperwork
― the quar on drugs (Simon H.)