love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

980 today :(

*imagine* if Diane Abbott had signed off on purchasing 17.5 million faulty CV tests.

— Jonny - Universal Basic Income now (@sensiblehuman96) April 10, 2020

we’re gonna crack 1,000 a day, we can fuckin’ do this lads, let’s show those pissant Italians and spaniards how it’s done

We should give the government much more credit. Have 1000 people died today? Or, have 65 million people stayed alive?

— Simon Hedges (@Orwell_Fan) April 10, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUoT5AxFpRs

Yeah no offence Matt, but the existence of David Miliband disproves your argument

It does not. Both brothers would have understood it, Ed chose to laugh along and gave it a sly like for the lols. David would have tutted and registered his stern disapproval.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/apr/10/matt-hancock-urges-public-not-to-overuse-ppe

Bold new strategy of blaming nurses for wasting PPE.

we've got the tories blaming them and the LOTO offering them medals. What a fucking great time to be alive.

Going well:

More good news on Boris Johnson’s recovery... I’m told he’s now doing su doku puzzles and has been watching films, including Lord of the Rings and Withnail & I... Full details in tomorrow’s @DailyMailUK

— John Stevens (@johnestevens) April 10, 2020

"I have come to this hospital by accident.."

Boris, you terrible cunt.

Are you the Prime Minister?

one does not simply walk into nightingale

We have 130 students in Bristol going on ren strike over their agents response to Covid-19 and rents. Please consider dropping the agents an email and sharing this to add pressure and raise awareness of their campaign! ✊https://t.co/tFPrl0jz1U

— d a i s y 🥀 (@daisycarter__) April 10, 2020

we’re gonna crack 1,000 a day, we can fuckin’ do this lads, let’s show those pissant Italians and spaniards how it’s done

We already have - the brief fad for counting care home deaths in the total has faded.

Official 1000-a-day should coincide nicely with official 10,000 in total

We already have - the brief fad for counting care home deaths in the total has faded.

― Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 11 April 2020 08:01 bookmarkflaglink

What happened with this? aiui this was going to be counted and included on a weekly basis and i seem to remember on Tuesday the figures (possibly in the FT?) said 'this is the first time care home deaths have been included in the totals.

I know in France, Italy and Spain, when this came up, partly as a consequence of the horror Spanish society felt at the images coming out of care homes, that questions of how to get numbers without post-mortems and lack of official diagnosis came up, but it doesn't seem too difficult to me to have a 'suspected Covid' status on the death certificate (as in fact that Guardian article suggests).

also, while we're on it, has anyone seen any 'excess deaths' figures for the UK?

i'm not a statistician, but when i get onto my laptop which has excel on it, this looks like it might be the place to go to at least get a sense of comparative numbers.

We're at the end of the third week of lockdown. Over 1.5m in Britain couldn't feed themselves - and that's limited to who is acknowledged. Over 1m people have reported losing *all* of their income due to COVID-19. The food banks are running empty. https://t.co/lUsuyTcZ3K

— GlumBird (@GlumBird) April 11, 2020

Thank god for potatoes

Just went all the way through a Universal Credit calculator, it would seem that our eligibility is somewhere in the region of £0.00. We're fortunate enough to be able survive I guess, but no doubt there will be huge amounts of people who fall through the cracks, many of whom were way below the poverty line already. How strange, that the Tory response to this vast, unforeseen shock to the economy is a disdainful shrug.

"and charity was not enough on its own."

it never should have been in the first fucking place. These cunts are terrified of reversing austerity because it would be a tacit admission that it was all based on a lie to start with... even if it means people might starve to death they are still trying preserve the integrity of a big lie rather than protect their citizens. Time to start murdering tories imo.

Big fuck up from Hancock on PPE today. Blaming NHS workers for misusing the meagre resources they have isn't going to reassure the public when the one thing that is almost certain to incite mass panic is the idea of doctors and nurses dying in their droves.

when you see the National Lottery adverts bragging about food banks and such, and remember the arguments when the Lottery was set up, and the promises about how the money raised would be for "luxury extras", you get a pretty clear picture of how far this country's fallen in 20-odd years

"28000 people might starve to death this summer. That is why it is very important that you keep buying those scratchcards."

It'll be a point of national pride to starve rather than accept outside help, in the unlikely event anyone offers. You wonder if the Tories are secretly relieved that Johnson isn't around to fuck the press conferences up even further. At least this way they can send out the cannon-fodder underlings to tell everyone the bad news.

I've stopped watching the pressers. Is anyone asking if the current strategy differs from OG Herd Immunity in anything other than timescales?

Testing still isn't RAMPING UP™ * in any meaningful way and tracking seems to be non-existent. In the absence of cures or vaccines all this other shit is basically slightly fewer people dying and stretched over months rather than weeks.

*I previously considered staying on the news channels and playing the RAMPING UP drinking game. I'd already be dead by now if I did.

Neighbourhood groups moving on from shaming sunbathers to shaming photographers who are supposedly editing images to look like ppl are closer than they are (i.e. posting pictures of random people with cameras). Impressive lateral move in the snitching championships.

ramping up v flattening the curve drinking bingo = spending entire lockdown in alcohol induced coma.

sounds like a plan

just did my weekly trip to Booker and Sainsbury's, the latter had a looooong queue outside, the couple in front were told "you must not shop together or you will be removed from the store" - have now disinfected everything or removed it from its packet, just took 2.5 hours in total, this is life now I suppose.

My neighbourhood's WhatsApp group has been fine, but I guess Cambridge is a bit different. Nobody even mentioned Boris.

mine has been very business-like, almost all queries abt how to help and answers to the queries, plus links to info, plus occasional "this person needs hello does anyone live nearby" stuff. a couple of swerves towards "clap for boris" and "actually the tories are good" have been instantly and roundly squelched

why yes i do live in hackney why do you ask

the islington one has apparently been tetchier? but my info there is secondhand

turned on Any Questions on R4 and someone was asking "Does the coronavirus prove god doesn't exist?"

POLL

what the fuck is wrong with people?

@thetimes Maybe you want to reconsider this article considering @caitlinmoran spent most of yesterday afternoon loudly breaking the lock down rules in my neighbour's garden pic.twitter.com/rAqyvGT0t9

— Simon Thompson (@sthompingground) April 11, 2020

Caitlin Moran: This lockdown is a piece of piss when you break it to go to a pals house.

coming soon from Brendan O'Neill: People Breaking the Lockdown are the Real Heroes

https://img.memecdn.com/Get-a-Brain-Morans_fb_93213.jpg

i used to have tons of time for Caitlin but she seems like a test run for Jess Phillips nowadays

speaking of which, a reminder of happier times

Is this the same Catlin Moran who got labour MP Jess Phillips to sort her passport out for her? pic.twitter.com/ZiDTLbFyXL

— unproductive & sad (@MarkEssen) April 11, 2020

clown news

Not sure why it's happening. But there's now a concerted and co-ordinated attempt to negatively shift the narrative on the Government's handling of this crisis. I suspect it's because we're nearing the peak, and there are some signs the strategy's working.

— (((Dan Hodges))) (@DPJHodges) April 11, 2020

i cannot fathom the depths of that cretin's perfidy

Assuming the strategy was 1000+ people dying every day to save money on PPE, then yes

Katie Puckrik weighs in on the Moran Twitter thread if anyone's interested

Not loving the Cultural Revolution-style snitchery, here.

— Katie Puckrik (@KatiePuckrik) April 11, 2020

Lol exposing the sanctimonious bullshit of a Murdoch columnist is very comparable with the cultural revolution!

Puckrick is my friend and stuck up for me on another person’s FB thread - the person being critical of me going out at all was not aware that WC1 and most of zone 1 is an absolute ghost town to the point where there’s empty squares, no queues and a handful of people out at any given time. Also I live alone and am not willing to have deliveries unless a) I get miss rona and b) it’s a local friend dropping milk off in that situation.

Also, while we are here, and without naming names, why do melts consider Jeremy Corbyn ‘arrogant’? IDGI.

trying to make them recognise their own privilege? god knows tbh

I still think Puckrik is talking a load of shite. Highly paid Murdoch columnist writes piece saying lockdown is a piece of piss, whilst considering themselves quite above the rules of the lockdown is a very deserving candidate for derision and contempt imo. You know she is isn't literally getting struggle sessioned, people are just saying she's a hypocritical bullshit merchant on twitter. And that is correct.