love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

1/2 For clarification, the force position, in line with national guidance, is that we are not monitoring what people are buying from supermarkets. This message was sent with good intentions by an over exuberant officer who has been spoken to since this tweet was published.

"over exuberant officer". should have used that defence w jean charles de menezes, ian tomlinson etc

that’s not far off the defence they did use tbf

me in an exuberant mood: hey ho let's crack open a tinny and make me an omelette. a pig is in an exuberance mood. hey let's crack some skulls .. you can't make an omelette without cracking skulls.

Housemate kindly had a friend over the other night. I'm planning a conversation.

It will be along the lines of listen fuckface I too dearly want to have mates over for a bevvy and for all his horrendous, stupid lockdown to be other, but.

I might not say fuckface.

you should definitely say fuckface

Bar Hill Tesco is fucking massive as well, and the big supermarkets are on the ball now with social distancing: limiting the number of customers in the store, guide lines on the floor and all that. Cops patrolling is insane.

But also, if you were worried about social distancing, wouldn’t you want the customers dispersed across as many aisles as possible? “Non-essential” (wtf) aisles being empty means more people wandering around the others. Dumb pigs can’t even decide which outcome they want to harass people into

the harassment is the outcome

Well yes

Xp This is a six bed house too. The dude has tendencies to think he knows it all and has been a bit this way about the lockdown in general. Also of course the dude is a human being

potentially apocryphal but someone at my work said her sister-in-law was given a 60£ on the spot fine by the rozzers for being out to buy wine only

How does this even work? If you're on the way you can just lie, if you're on your way back you say they were out of the essentials you wanted so you just bought this.

good grief. R4 comedy has a new nadir, they have a stand up comedian who is a pig and all his material is about how much of a jolly wheeze it is being a fucking pig!

(xp) "I'm an alcoholic, wine is an essential, offisher."

"Thresher's didn't have any flour or eggs"

Accepting that it’s possibly apocryphal, people massively underestimate how much police power comes from enforcement of laws that don’t exist, people being unaware of their rights and a general unwillingness to not tell cops the truth.

If I’d, say, had a bottle of wine and was going out for another and a cop (or anyone) asked me what I was doing out I would probably tell the truth without thinking

the off licences are so they can fuck off and mind their own business tbf. i realise this is not always an easy conversation to have as the last time i had it (admittedly in australia) i ended up in handcuffs in the back of their van for half an hour while we discussed who was right.

I'd probably tell them the truth because fuck off I can buy wine if I want to

i should add that i didn’t say fuck off. i’m not daft.

ugh the off licences are *open*. what NV said.

I was quite polite last year when two cops picked me up pissed wandering along the side of not sure which main road, but I did insist I hadn't done anything wrong. Grateful for the lift home tho.

This is absolutely bizarre. If you stop people getting calories from “non-essential” sources, you’re just putting even greater pressure on the “essential” foods. https://t.co/o03byqAH14

— mary mac (@marykmac) April 9, 2020

i think that dick's already been called out on his bullshit too

punished boris to address the nation and announce that all covid corpses will be carted off to the soylent green factories and our essential daily calories will be delivered in powdered form through our letterbox by amazon drone starting next tuesday

Can someone explain Milibands tweet-like?

(I know there are two Milibands but I don't know the difference if there is one)

One of them is good now. And there is no universal semantic for a tweet like, the solution is as always to burn Twitter to the ground.

Brockwell Park was pretty quiet earlier imo - still a few sit-downers but way down on a week ago. A lot of unleashed dogs which the council are no doubt freaking out over as I type. Didn't notice any police or flashbulb-armed men with bowler hats with PRESS labels on them though.

And the big-ish Sainsburys nearby had a long queue but fast-moving with few restrictions on items - didn't notice any signs but did keep getting a tannoy message recorded by Davina McCall.

Thank you to our frontline police officers who are working to keep the public safe in the most difficult of circumstances through the #coronavirus: pic.twitter.com/P4PY75uThm

— Nick Thomas-Symonds MP (@NickTorfaen) April 10, 2020

did keep getting a tannoy message recorded by Davina McCall.

Oh look it's my local plod getting all enthusiastic, must be like having a birthday every day to these cunts

Officers patrolling Ducketts Common have removed groups sunbathing ignoring guidelines.

Two arrested for outraging public decency & a breach of schedule 21 - Enforcement of Covid.

We will endeavour to have a high police presence in parks and open spaces.#StayHomeSaveLives💙 pic.twitter.com/8e6eshU0dc

— MPS Haringey (@MPSHaringey) April 10, 2020

They'd arrest the fucking sun if they could

"urged to" for now

https://www.marketplace.org/2020/04/08/jobless-brits-urged-to-pick-for-britain-as-covid-19-blocks-foreign-farmworkers/

Jobless Brits urged to ‘risk their lives for the profit of others’ as COVID-19 blocks foreign farmworkers

I can't imagine you could keep PPE on your face while doing quite sweaty physical labour in the summer months.

Jeremy Corbyn's Twitter: All nurses on the front line should have their student debts written off.
Kier Starmer's Twitter: All nurses on the front line should receive a medal.

Centrism is back guys, in all it's non-descript and useless glory.

— rebelpaws (@rebelpaws) April 10, 2020

extremely ‘hmmm, curious’ para from that farm-worker story

Around 80,000 migrants are usually needed. Most come from continental Europe, and their numbers had been declining since Brexit because many appear to feel unwelcome and the fall in the value of the pound has, anyway, made working in Britain less rewarding financially.

One of them is good now.

More like one of them was always fucking terrible and continues to be fucking terrible and his (younger) brother bursting his balloon on the biggest stage imaginable will never not be sweet.

xp

yep, brexit always meant UK ppl would have to do more of their agricultural labour again, but now they are going to have to do all of it. Never mind lads, Sir Kier might offer you a medal!

Me taunting the pigs like pic.twitter.com/hmzaKBbLAZ

— ACAB Rees-Mogg (@jelly_pack) April 10, 2020

Delicious @tildarice rice pudding, finished to the last morsel. A great argument for the Customs Union and Single Market! pic.twitter.com/5UK75Vsaqc

— David Miliband (@DMiliband) May 14, 2018

one of the Milibands shills for big rice (and bananas)

if for one am shocked that Big JO'B likes the filth

I think the police are mostly doing a good job in very difficult & confusing circumstances. It seems unlikely that they would be deliberately trying to make things any harder than they need to be. Perhaps we could all be a bit more supportive?

— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) April 10, 2020

He's one of them posh middle class white people who says you've nothing to worry about with pigs unless you're a crim.

it seems unlikely that coppers would be trying to make things any harder

I had completely forgotten who Jo Swinson was.

she's the easter bunny, that's you crossed off her list

means-tested easter eggs for all! some!

you get vouchers for 3 free easter eggs during your working life