love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

This was the topic most full of cunts - https://twitter.com/search?q=%22Hope%20Boris%22&src=trend_click

― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 5 April 2020 bookmarkflaglink

Well yes I'm sure if you search it like that ofc you are going to get plenty of get well etc. But note the odd threats and aggression if you are not toeing the line.

big ben MUST bong for boris

selfish bastard needs to stop taking up space if he's going to die soon anyway

beautiful pic.twitter.com/2bw2XwVTJO

— NumberGoDown (@DownNumber) April 5, 2020

pic.twitter.com/UBpCT1VBBh

— Loki (@Lokinash06) April 5, 2020

Can't spell Downing Street without DNR

Guardian suggesting the 17.5m tests they’d bought to check whether people had previously had coronavirus might be about 50% accurate.

https://www.theguardian.com/law/2020/apr/05/retired-senior-judge-sir-john-laws-dies-after-contracting-coronavirus

John "Cummings' uncle" Laws down now, they're dropping like fucking flies!

Guardian suggesting the 17.5m tests they’d bought to check whether people had previously had coronavirus might be about 50% accurate.

(xp) Tough for working class anti-establishment figure Dominic Cummings to lose his uncle, retired senior judge, Sir John Laws.

This could wipe out a generation of cunts, clearing space for more cunts to fill the gap

truly our most reliable renewable resource

me rn

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/933394218323759104/fkdxldtq_400x400.jpg

irl lol

the rona doesn't give a fuck about class lines or race, that's basically the only reason it's managed to bring the whole show down. When Cummings said if some pensioners die then too bad he didn't mean his uncle... ohh the humanity!

Would this count as death by misadventure?

Pretty sure the rona is still disproportionately killing poorer people here and around the world tbh

yeah i was thinking it might take out disproportionately many republicans in the US because of where they tend to get their news/who the governor of their state is, etc., and then i remembered how the world works.

Indeed, Boris very much letting the side down here.

xxp

I meant in terms of who it infects, of course posh bastards get better medical treatment and the finest bespoke ventilators!

nah I knew what you meant bud just clarifying inequality under capitalism kills people

everyone tweeting good wishes to boris johnson with a union jack in their name looks like this pic.twitter.com/4ptWIb5ckP

— ▀▀▀▀▀▀ (@immolations) April 5, 2020

Not far off it. My sister posted that he was in hospital - on Facebook - just for news, not that she cares about Boris Johnson, and she had four of these hideous fat balding ex-mods she knows, who are all Rangers fans and voted Tory, posting crying emojis *boke*

conspiracy theory: Johnson's already dead, but the announcement has been held back to avoid undue numbers of people partying in the park over the weekend

What’s the protocol on days of national ‘mourning’ here? Would be a shame if it overlapped with Easter.

Shame on everyone, you might not personally like Boris Johnson but imagine his unborn child growing up without a fath-

tbf he would have died anyway

Scottish CMO has resigned

National day of mourning is a tricky one, something seems not quite right about only being able to watch online as they yeet him in a routemaster and drive it into the thames

Just thinking about the state funeral via cctv with the ceremonial duties carried out by a jcb and two guys in full hazmat kit

Crashing through a wall of polystyrene bricks with Goodbye Bojo written on it.

who? the queen?

I don't know if she has a licence to drive a JCB, but I'm sure she'd do her duty if called on by the nation.

Day 10 is the average day when the severe and critical cases get hospitalised, I’ve just remembered.

Also, what “tests” for this require hospitalisation? You can do oxygen sat at home. Chest x-rays, I guess, but that’s outpatient stuff, surely.

Does seem plausible that he could be properly ill.

I suppose this might make the dozy dumbfucks half this country consists of more careful about social distancing etc, probably not though

au contrite, I shall be running around shaking hands with every Tory I can find

Contrite? wtf spellcheck?

Yeah “tests” really only makes sense if they’re ruling something else out. I got my oximeter on eBay. Did they say what hospital he went to?

National day of mourning is a tricky one, something seems not quite right about only being able to watch online as they yeet him in a routemaster and drive it into the thames

I feel like stet’s hunch is right, though, because I don’t know why the PM would go to a hospital unless he absolutely needed to. I’m sure no 10 has a medical team at the very least? He could have pneumonia.

While No 10 did not say what tests Johnson would undergo in hospital, experts said they would be likely to focus on assessing how the prime minister’s lungs, heart and other organs were responding to the virus.

“Doctors will be monitoring important vital signs such as oxygen saturations,” said Dr Rupert Beale, who heads the cell biology of infection laboratory at the Francis Crick Institute in London.

“They will also check blood tests to see what the immune response to the virus looks like, and to assess liver and kidney function. They will perform an electrocardiogram to check the heart. More sophisticated tests may include a CT scan of the chest to get an accurate picture of the lungs.”

Keegan.jpg

I don't know if she has a licence to drive a JCB, but I'm sure she'd do her duty if called on by the nation.

Just hide the keys from Phillip though.

more importantly hide the kids from Prince Andrew

Imagine being the doctor expected to treat Boris. Imagine being on shift and they wheel him in and youre expected to look after him.

brexit and remain diehards on twitter currently united in repulsive display of toff arse licking, moral outrage over anything resembling humour

So if he is proper ill then he'll be out of action for a while (assuming the fucker survives). In other words, he'll avoid the peak of the pandemic and will get to swan back in when the death toll starts to drop a little, and all the gammons will be nodding sagely and letting you know they always though Bozza would sort it out.

If he does cark it though I suggest a flaming pyre floating down the Thames, like the end of Return of the Jedi mashed into the end of Aguirre: Wrath of God.

https://i.redd.it/86h6k4hh72r41.png

sterling work itt. must admit i just had the image of him doing that thing before your mum comes in in the morning - jamming your face in your pillow to make your self as hot as possible and simulating a nasty wheezing cough. the man’s a serial evader.