love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

Errr also what the fuck is Matt Hancock doing taking a press conference right now? Wasn't he isolating with symptoms two or three days ago?

he said last week he’d be self-isolating until today

he still should have a permanent Twat sticker on his back

well, yeah

100,000 tests a day in the uk before the end of the month u say

mark your calendars

Germany were doing that a week ago.

yeah but we’re doing red white and blue tests

Who did the sums on this repeated no test > bad test claim?

no deal test is better than a bad

deal

fucking formatting, you get the idea

what an elegant joke

I don't really get the clapping thing when the people who are being applauded aren't here to hear it?

some of them might be? I mean I don't like it either, but plenty of NHS staff will be home at 8pm.

every time you clap your hands, an nhs worker gets a piece of ppe

So bang a pot in the hope and expectation an NHS worker lives in the neighbourhood?

And it's not a case of liking or not, it's just a bit strange.

I think it's basically fine in and of itself, just depressing in how it reminds me that the British public will choose sentimental gestures over real change 9 times out of 10.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/02/coronavirus-took-hold-in-uk-earlier-than-thought-data-reveals?CMP

yes i live three streets from one of london's big hospitals, and at least one medical professional definitely lives in my building

New "Stay Home" advert tonight, featuring a quick shot of some doorstep applause.

oh god was that the Jess Phillips advert as well?

lol i mentioned on my busiest friends-only whatsapp that CMO chris whitty is three aliens in a trenchcoat and two unconnected ppl said they knew him and had worked with him and he's lovely so i am shamed as a dick

obviously i blame you lot

Those two “unconnected people” are the two aliens on the bottom

chris whitty: three lovely aliens in a trenchcoat

> chris whitty is three aliens in a trenchcoat

"IT'S A TRAP!"

I was clapping the Labour membership earlier myself, for showing such great wisdom and forethought by voting for a jellyfish to replace Corbyn.

hope you were shouting "THIS CLAPPING IS SARCASTIC" to make sure the neighbours didn't misunderstand your intent

damn, I put up a "SARCASTIC CLAPPING" sign, probably no good in this context :(

signs aren't really good unless you make them fairly big and use fairly lights to illuminate them

Errr also what the fuck is Matt Hancock doing taking a press conference right now? Wasn't he isolating with symptoms two or three days ago?

The strain contracted by politicians, actors, newspaper columnists, and other assorted blue ticks is a completely unrelated virus that just happens to share the name. It is without symptoms and not contagious. The risk is that, unknowingly, carriers may also be carrying the more well know version which is contracted more generally by members of the public.

WHO say 14 days self-isolation is required, is the UK govt saying it knows better than them again?

earlier Dawn Butler posted that her uncle took a fall, ended up in hospital, contracted covid-19 in hospital then died a la Eddie Large. I was telling my mum only yesterday, whatever you do and whatever chances you take .. just don't end up in a hospital right now or the rest of the year and beyond if possible.

i mean i kind of hated eddie large but this was not the way for him to go out, poor guy :(

At least he wasn't Syd Little.

tbh they always seemed like the most harmless of those club comics made good, no dark secrets, no shitty political grandstanding as far as I remember

(cue somebody digging up dark secrets and shitty politics)

They were actually signed up as replacements for ITV defectors Morecambe and Wise. No pressure lads!

Jesus that's the most inadequate replacement this side of a Dyson ventilator.

Always found the differing attitudes towards alcohol & betting genuinely curious. UK on lockdown leads to (as of yet unfounded) concerns about more people betting at home online. We rightly take that seriously. UK on lockdown, let’s all get drunk at home - no problem, apparently. https://t.co/Wk9iWz3glu

— Michael Dugher (@MichaelDugher) April 2, 2020

Tom Watson's Music UK mate seems to be a gambling industry shill now - wow very subtle. Like there is a distinct difference between supping 9 ales in your living room and completely emptying your account in the bet 365 games room. cunt

wait there's still stuff to bet on?

South African horseracing, flies running up a window, eye of horus slot machine!

Ice hockey in Belarus

Kung Volleyball

Spanish lottery has been cancelled but most Euro, New York and two Irish ones still running!

obv endless Roulette, Poker, Blackjack gaming rooms as well. gambling addicts will be doing much better (or losing much more money) than smack addicts during this pandemic

Virtual Cribbage

sorry that was meant for the symptoms thread

that reminds me.. need more real cabbage!

They’re running bets on FIFA 2020 matches, much to the annoyance of the participants.

This immunity passport thing - good idea or not? Big downside seems to be that it might incite people to deliberately contract the virus so that they can get it out of the way and get on with their lives

more importantly, what colour will it be?