Mostly Apolitical Thread for Discussing/Venting our Rational/Irrational COVID-19 Fears and Experiences in 2020

In other news, I was out yesterday, and while it could be projection, the music I heard piped in a couple of places seemed conspicuously positive. "Vacation" by the Go-Gos, "California Girls" (Beach Boys original), Stevie Wonder "Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing" (kinda).

As I said earlier, I heard "Close to You" by the Carpenters. In the supermarket.

Heh, they should have swapped out "Vacation" for "Our Lips Are Sealed."

will my roommate ever learn that my working from home is somewhat more important (and contributes more to the rent on this apartment being paid tomorrow) than her watching grey's anatomy from home? stay tuned to find out

My somewhat vague, longish ago reading about the hantavirus was that it's from...mouse urine? When urine dries and gets incorporated into dust and then into the air? Gave me a turn, I can tell you.

xp katherine when this is over, or whatever passes for "over," we're finding you a new roommate/apartment. This one has Got To Go.

I complain a lot about Chris Cuomo (+), but I'm only going to say nice things about him for the time being...I was wondering if--if he's up to it, that is--him continuing to go on the air every night would be a good thing, in that it would help alleviate fear about this. But then I thought it could have the unintended consequence of confirming for some people their belief that this is no big thing, just a mild flu.

afaik, hantavirus in the US is sorta limited to the southwest, right?

Well, this has cheered me up a bit:

James Corden says he's been struggling with 'incredible spikes of anxiety and sadness' during the Covid-19 outbreak.

Lol, pouring one out for each one of Corden's anxiety spikes!

I've had decades of harsh lessons about how much that seems vitally important to me is out of my control, so I mostly skip past the anxiety straight to the sadness. Saves time and energy.

Just tried wrapping a scarf round my mouth when I went to supermarket and it was definitely worse than useless in that I ended up touching my face much more than I otherwise would, fiddling with it.

Wasn't sure how I'd react to this until it actually happened...I was waiting to exit the post office a while ago, standing away from the door until some other guy, around 35 or 40, entered. He held the door, I just waited. He let go, and as he walked away he said, "No need to not worry, god'll take care of this."

I let out a kind of muffled half-laugh, more derisive than I intended it to be. Some other time, I might have engaged--not about "He's doing a bang-up job so far," but the concept of the double-negative. (Positive that's exactly what he said. Maybe he was indeed telling me to worry.)

In other news, our daughter was reported awake with a low fever all night. No other symptoms mentioned. Trying to stay calm.

I missed that...best wishes.

sorry to hear that aimless, hope she's ok.

She does sometimes have low-grade unexplained fevers that abate within hours. This one seems to be more stubborn, having lasted all night. She had an elevated temp yesterday morning, too. If this takes a bad turn I'm about as mentally prepared as I am capable of being, but the prospect of not being able to sit with her is much harder than any possibility I've considered over these many years.

I'm not going to assume the worst, yet. I'll post more if matters become any clearer.

Oh, Aimless, best of luck.

sending some love your family's way, Aimless

oh aimless hoping for the best

I've got everything crossed for you and your daughter

thinking of you and yours, aimless

really sorry to hera

*hear -- apologies

All the best, Aimless. Thinking of your daughter and her comfort.

Best wishes to you and your family, Aimless.

thinking of her and sending well wishes, Aimless

fuck! Aimless, thinking of you

This could still easily turn in almost any direction. Her health and physical being are full of deep mysteries, very unpredictable and confounding. But I gladly accept all good wishes!

But to give a better sense of her, here's a pic of her and me from 2012:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8183/8146701943_a122735976_z.jpg

Lovely!

Looks like a personable and spirited kid. :)

My sister, in the last decade, has impressively *overreacted* to

1) me getting cancer
2) a global pandemic

Impressive skill set!

Currently "begging" me to but months' worth of canned food now, cuz what happens when my friends no longer bring me groceries, the post office stops, etc.

Where does she think you're even going to find months' worth of canned food to buy right now? But at least it shows she cares about you.

Sending you best wishes Aimless!

best wishes to aimless and morbs and stet and everyone struggling in this moment

(also, belated xp — she’s not a bad person or anything and all things considered my living situation has worked much better than I had thought it would this month, it’s just that it doesn’t seem to have registered that I’m doing actual work)

You may need to remind — everyone is deep in their neuroses at this point and it’s no time for hinting imo

In personal sanity-maintenance, I’ve been having to do deep breathing exercises at least 1x/daily for weeks now. It’s part of my routine. Also reaching out to friends way more regularly than I have at other points of extreme isolation in my life. Feels kinda good!!

Here's a text convo i just had with a good and trustworthy and knowledgeable friend who is a pediatric oncologist nurse in an NYC hospital who just got off a Friday to Monday shift that involved considerable time in COVID wards. It is reproduced with her blessing. I found this helpful and comforting and useful and thought y'all might too.

I want you to know that not all NYC hospitals look like what’s depicted in the news. I promise. for me, there's three covid wards and all ICUs are filled. though we need more backup for sure. Truly truly I am not afraid for myself and neither should you for me or yourself if you take reasonable precautions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxyH1rkuLaw

This guys video is needlessly long but he’s an NYC ICU doc / expert and does an okay job explaining what to do and why you don’t need to lose your mind totally. Recently they’ve calculated a lower US mortality rate for covid19 than was previously estimated: ~0.7%. May that comfort you a little, I hope.

Wear a mask if you have one, that’s the new recommendation now and it makes sense. Even if it doesn’t do a whole lot to avoid droplet stuff, at the very least it helps prevent you (or make you mindful) about touching your face! Designate one as your cooties mask and reuse. Keep in a plastic baggy. Honestly the point of the outdoors mask is less about keeping stuff out (via droplets) and more about keeping your germs in (should you randomly sneeze, or have the urge to point your hand near your mouth or nose). so any cooties caught while out should already be yours ;)

It also helps reduce hand to mouth/nose transfer if you’re out touching stuff etc. they’re finding most transmission in the real world is via Contact rather than droplet. in the hospital setting it’s a different story cause you’re closely interacting with known positive patients and giving them breathing treatments that aerosolizes their virus all over the place. But even in the hospital we are asked to reuse our masks.

breathing exercises are good. and very needed. i guess the one nice thing about social media is it makes reaching out to friends more regularly a lot easier.

I have good friends that are thinking about me but the thought of opening up has me feeling sick to my stomach. so in other words, it's Tuesday.

i'm so cagey about showing emotion in front of people that pretty much only two of my friends have witnessed me break down crying ever, including people I've known 15+ years. i've seen all of them do it.

i don't even like showing emotion when I sing in public, but being a performer, if it's a song I've rehearsed, I can do the emotion thing performatively, but don't like to show what I'm actually feeling.

definitely time for me to quit making fucking excuses and go back to therapy, whether it's a video session or I find an in-person when this blows over. really mad at myself for putting it off this long. fired the last one a year ago.

STRONGLY recommend people watch that video i linked up there; it alleviated a LOT of freakout on my part.
the cultural and economic and political ramifications are still fucking terrifying but hearing a trusted source assure that the vast majority of transmission comes from physical contact should go a long way toward calming many of us down.

Definitely a good idea. I’ve never liked talking about my feelings either but therapy has helped a lot and also helped w recognizing my (pretty idiosyncratic) emotional triggers and managing the fallout before it gets too bad/spirals. Sometimes it’s actually easier to talk w a stranger than a close friend! Isn’t that a part of why we’re here on ILX? ;)

good thoughts to you and your daughter Aimless.

just lost my job.

7 years.

fuck.

fuck, sorry man

goddamn thermo :(

Argh. Sad to hear that Dyson. Really hope we can tamp this down in Ont so everyone in arts has a fighting chance to come back. Know so many affected right now.

Brief backstory: in January I caught a different virus, which turned into pneumonia, at which point my kidneys permanently shut down due to a rare autoimmune disease, and I've been on dialysis ever since, waiting for the transplant list to reopen, etc. I realize that's burying the lede a little, but I've been sort of vacillating between the same generalized anxiety everyone's feeling with "holy shit, this is REALLY going to kill me if i get it"-type bleakness.

Anyway, I was exposed to somebody at dialysis last week who tested positive, so I'm currently overreacting to every little possible symptom. ("Did that Diet Coke taste funny?") Eight days since exposure and I'm still fine, and it's been three weeks since I tapered off prednisone entirely, so hopefully I'll have a functional immune system soon, but it certainly seems like this won't be the last time I freak out about something like this. I'm certainly glad that I got as sick as I did before there was known community transmission of COVID where I live, at least.

Sorry to hear that, man.

just lost my job.

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, March 31, 2020 6:47 PM bookmarkflaglink

7 years.

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, March 31, 2020 6:47 PM bookmarkflaglink

fuck.

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, March 31, 2020 6:48 PM bookmarkflaglink

fuck. i'm so sorry :(