US Politics, March 2020 — There’s a very good chance you’re not going to die.

"How do you feel about people who abduct children and forcibly turn them into heroin addicts?"

"No opinion."

i wonder if "no opinion" also counts as "inaudible" or "other", for phone polls? for example,

"Do you approve or disapprove of the way Donald Trump is handling his job as president?"

"......Nnnnnnghhh..."

"Excuse me, can you please repeat your answer, I didn't-"

"*BLOODCURDLING SCREAAAAAAAAM"

"ok we'll just put you down as No Opinion on that one. Now regarding Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin-"

About that poll:

In the poll, 48 percent approve of Trump’s overall job performance — the first time his approval has been higher than his disapproval (46 percent) in any Post-ABC poll. His approval on his handling of the coronavirus is 51 percent, vs. 45 percent negative. All of that is in line with other polls.

But the Post-ABC poll asked one very specific question on the coronavirus that doesn’t reflect so favorably on Trump. It asked people whether they thought Trump was too slow to respond to the crisis or whether he reacted with the right speed. Fully 58 percent of people said he was too slow, while just 38 percent said he reacted as quickly as he should have.

So 58 percent say he was too slow, but just 45 percent disapprove of his handling of it. In other words, at least 1 in 8 Americans believe Trump failed to recognize and act upon the severity of the situation in the early days of the crisis but still give him a positive grade.

from here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/03/27/bad-news-trump-amid-his-coronavirus-poll-bump/

If you look at the massive approval boost Bush got after 9/11, despite handling it terribly, this is nothing more than a gnat's fart of crisis bump.

I just have to assume that people must secretly hate the loved ones who are suffering and dying as a result of Trump's inaction.

all Trump needs to do to keep those numbers up is to invade China.

we have to locate the secret supervirus factory in china

i nominate lt col. Tom Cotton to lead the squad

As usual with “this” General Motors, things just never seem to work out. They said they were going to give us 40,000 much needed Ventilators, “very quickly”. Now they are saying it will only be 6000, in late April, and they want top dollar. Always a mess with Mary B. Invoke “P”.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 27, 2020

US Politics, April 2020: Invoke "P"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

christ almighty

What does that mean

but wait, is that his first acknowledgement that the ventilators are "much needed"? within a week, of course, he'll be saying that he knew they were important the entire time

https://i.imgur.com/ZBnHT1o.png

This is confirmation that he's tweeting via speech-to-text, right?

lol frogbs

his first acknowledgement that the ventilators are "much needed"?

His worldview is very adaptable.

please remove my brain and throw it into the ocean i can't take it anymore

this motherfucker is so tiring

invoke them by the "p"

"Invoke P" is like the second to last thing i attempt to do in a text adventure game before finally giving up

does text-to-speech randomly do weird capitalizations of nouns?

This is confirmation that he's tweeting via speech-to-text, right?

― DJP, Friday, March 27, 2020 11:04 AM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

(forgets to submit tweet, jams phone in pocket, stands at toilet for two solid minutes with no action before bellowing at his wizened dingle) INVOKE PEE!

>find ventilator
>>I don't understand
>search ventilators
>>I don't understand
>help Ventilator
>>Ventilators are a _key item_. they are very important now. GM has them but they won't give them to you. why
>make Ventilator
>>I can't do that right now
>look
>>You are in a room with no doors
>invoke P

lmao

One of the few things that's keeping me sane through this is the increased likelihood that I will eventually get to see footage of people kicking his desiccated head around like a soccer ball.

bit harsh on karl tbh

this motherfucker is so tiring
^^^^^

bit harsh on me tbh

"p" tape is real

okay lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi-H6ohY37k

I think "P" took the place of Nixon's name during all internal Watergate-related communiqués, so he's probably nostalgic for the cloak-and-dagger of that.

He wants to...invoke himself.

there is only one logical conclusion here: he is summoning master p and the no limit soldiers

wow, congressman Massie (R-Libertania) is going to try to force everyone to return to congress for the house vote, rather than just doing a simple voice vote (which both Pelosi and McCarthy want)

turns out that this legislation is going to increase the federal deficit!!!!!!!!

oh god it just hit me that QAnon is probably going wild about the "invoke P" thing

what if it turned out all along that Q was one letter off?

this is kind of today's "covfefe", so i'm expecting to be incredibly annoyed at all on this when I'm still hearing about it in April

but i'm going to live in the moment and just enjoy Invoke P while it's fresh

Breaking news: Congressman Massie has tested positive for being an asshole. He must be quarantined to prevent the spread of his massive stupidity. He's given new meaning to the term #Masshole. (Finally, something the president and I can agree on!) https://t.co/N1CNLPsZjc

— John Kerry (@JohnKerry) March 27, 2020

wow

such a shocking breach of decorum, i am offended

I am assuming he means invoke Presidential Emergency Powers, but...who is he telling to do that?

yesterday he said there was no need because all of these companies are beautiful, they don't need to be told to help, theyr'e very cooperative

today he's looking for some kind of public permission I guess from these same people, or hoping they'll come to theirs senses

the most cowardly person in the world

why has he not invoked the DPA yet??

well also i mean it's the job of each individual state governor to work these deals out for their state, for the ventilators.

not that there is a ventilator shortage, everything is fine. but they are also badly needed, and we are working toward a perfect deal. we'll see what happens

Knowing him, he probably wants to stay as far away from any culpability/responsibility as possible. Much easier to point fingers and blame others as the crisis worsens.

well, yeah, ofc

I am assuming he means invoke Presidential Emergency Powers, but...who is he telling to do that?

he is michael scott declaring bankruptcy