calz two contributions are possibly the best things to come out of this entire situation imo
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 12:52 (six years ago)
Hadrian and OL brought the lols
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 12:56 (six years ago)
96. vague, existential unease
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 12:58 (six years ago)
97. Feverish shitposting
― consultant haste (gyac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:17 (six years ago)
98. Increased daytime access to food and booze, leading to excess eating and drinking.
― Why, I would make a fantastic Nero! (PBKR), Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:19 (six years ago)
Lol these are all song lyrics.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:32 (six years ago)
99. pancreatic amnesia
― a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:42 (six years ago)
100. clear plastic golf trousers
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:46 (six years ago)
101. sudden ability to play the trumpet (as-yet-untested, tbf)
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:47 (six years ago)
102. Black smoke belching from open mouth.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 26 March 2020 13:48 (six years ago)
Okay, this one is 100% serious and mysterious and I wasn't sure where to share it before, but:
On my last day in the outside world, I left work and went on one last grocery run. Among the groceries I bought were four cans of soup, of a variety and brand that I regularly buy. These were the only canned goods I bought that day. I did self-checkout and bagged everything myself, so I know precisely what went in the bags. And I was mindful to not go hog wild on things like canned goods because I was going to be lugging all that shit on my shoulder all the way home and it adds up. The weight, I mean. So I get home, I put away my groceries, and because the cabinets were getting a little overfilled, I put a bag of less perishable stuff in another room. Namely, the four cans of soup and a loaf of bread. At that point, we were on lockdown, leaving basically only for walks and to like get the mail. No one else has been in the apartment. So like a week later, as we started to make some room in the cabinets, I thought: oh hey, guess I'll put away that loaf of bread and those four soup cans. So I went to the bag and...there were like ten soup cans in there, all but the four of a different variety and brand than I have ever bought. I...have no idea where they came from. No idea whatsoever. Literally the only way this could have happened via non-supernatural means is if someone slipped them into my shopping bag while my attention was diverted on the train home that day.
So:
103. mystery soup manifesting from the void
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:07 (six years ago)
soup cans be fuckin’
― a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:16 (six years ago)
Have you considered changing your display name?
― Matt DC, Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:28 (six years ago)
104. Biden-esque speech patterns
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:29 (six years ago)
105. some psychosomatic symptoms, difficult to endure, involving the upper respiratory tract
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:31 (six years ago)
106. Breathe the pressure / Come play my game, I'll test ya / Psychosomatic, addict, insane
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:35 (six years ago)
107. literal frog in one's throat
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:36 (six years ago)
108. I'm dead109. I'm The Stranger
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:37 (six years ago)
110. felicitous, newly acquired ability to front a caverncore band
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:40 (six years ago)
111. urge to trawl through YouTube for videos of oddballs giving lessons on etiquette
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:42 (six years ago)
112. Got a wicked case of the jimmy leg
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:49 (six years ago)
113. woke up inhabiting the body of Richard Kline (who portrayed Jack Tripper's friend Larry on the beloved sitcom Three's Company)
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:55 (six years ago)
114. speaks only in V A G A R I E S
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:57 (six years ago)
115. perpetual obliqueness
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:02 (six years ago)
116. smiling next to others in silent lucidity
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:03 (six years ago)
117. Delayed choogling
― may the force leave us alone (zchyrs), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:12 (six years ago)
118. Sad hands
― may the force leave us alone (zchyrs), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:13 (six years ago)
119. bunch of sarcastic raccoons playing ping-pong in the ol’ mailbox, if you know what I mean
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:20 (six years ago)
120. I really, really, really want to zig-a-zig-ah
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:31 (six years ago)
121. old hockey books
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:40 (six years ago)
121. jerkier, even less confident stabs at hanky panky
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:42 (six years ago)
*122 ffs
123. Pre-mullet.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:51 (six years ago)
124. Post-hawk
― never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:52 (six years ago)
125. Rough smoothies
― never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:53 (six years ago)
126. Can smell passing clouds
127. FONMO, Fear of Not Missing Out
― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 26 March 2020 16:42 (six years ago)
128. unable to face down large centipedes
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 16:57 (six years ago)
Guess I've had cv19 all my life.
― coco vide (pomenitul), Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:00 (six years ago)
129. yo-yo won't come back to me
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:01 (six years ago)
(granted, I threw it in the trash, but still)
130. tragic noggin
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:08 (six years ago)
131. violent craving for consensus
― never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:10 (six years ago)
132. morning necrophilia
― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:16 (six years ago)
133. travels solely by leapfrog, much to the chagrin of everyone en route
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 19:04 (six years ago)
134. all sandwiches taste like pastrami on rye
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Thursday, 26 March 2020 19:13 (six years ago)
135. import error136. file name extension retention137. Trudeau cravings
― Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:29 (six years ago)
138. an additional soul scored from a 1-up brick
― epistantophus, Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:35 (six years ago)
139. impromptu delivery of all of your dialogue throughout the day in the style suggested to you by the music from next doors telly
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:37 (six years ago)
140. weak reflection
― rob, Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:39 (six years ago)