I hear the LOLs echoing tonight but she hears only ROFLs of some quiet EXCELSIOR

sir, while

Hooray for good chairs

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, March 25, 2020 8:42 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

hip hip support

― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, March 25, 2020 8:43 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

dad lols

>find ventilator
>>I don't understand
>search ventilators
>>I don't understand
>help Ventilator
>>Ventilators are a _key item_. they are very important now. GM has them but they won't give them to you. why
>make Ventilator
>>I can't do that right now
>look
>>You are in a room with no doors
>invoke P

― Karl Malone, Friday, March 27, 2020 12:11 PM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

:D

I also like the idea that someone has told Trump that, now he's president, he can invoke things, so he tells people that he's going to 'invoke pee' rather than 'go to the bathroom'.

unbroken run:

Good timing by the Horror Channel to run this Star Trek episode about a mysterious illness running rampant on the Enterprise - spread by touch. I think we could all do with one of these suits Spock is wearing.

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:13 PM (fifty-five minutes ago)

Some dispensible red shirt brings it on to the Enterprise by taking his glove off to scratch his nose :-O

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:17 PM (fifty-two minutes ago)

did he eat a space bat while he was on the planet

― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:37 PM (thirty-one minutes ago)

That I don't know, but Nurse Chappell is in love with Mr. Spock :-O

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:41 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago)

How's she going to explain that one in the morning? "I must have had my beer goggles on last night."

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:42 PM (twenty-six minutes ago)

who doesn't love a distant, emotionally unavailable man

― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:43 PM (twenty-six minutes ago)

Half man.

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:43 PM (twenty-five minutes ago)

Spock blubbing like a child, pull yourself together half man!

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:45 PM (twenty-three minutes ago)

Half amazing

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, April 1, 2020 8:46 PM (twenty-three minutes ago)

following the great 2020 FLAV HOAX

can we please just turn this into a thread of speculative future Public Enemy album titles
― brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, April 1, 2020

How Much Flav Would a Chuck D. Chuck If a Chuck D. Would Chuck Flav?
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, April 1, 2020

never mind
― DJP, Wednesday, April 1, 2020

hahaha

lol

had a tuna melt this week, it was good, let's have more melts
― silby, Friday, April 3, 2020 1:26 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

ew
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, April 3, 2020 1:27 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yes I’m White And I Vote!!
― silby, Friday, April 3, 2020 1:30 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I should admit here to also indulging a couple days ago, maybe it's the 'rona

could have been worse, coulda been a casserole

I bought a frozen cheese pizza from a grocery outlet. It had a strangely long baking time, exuded tons of water, and tasted like a tuna melt. I then learned the pizza crust itself was made of chicken.

WHAT

<gag>

TIL LJ started a pizza line

newspapers and basalt, you know it

I genuinely didn't believe you until I googled it

is "pizza line" the new British term for mutual jack/off sesh or ...?

The essential oils Jesus moms I went to high school with were all into those zero-carb chicken crust pizzas last year, been a minute since I saw them mentioned (or keto in general).

https://realgoodfoods.com/products/7-three-cheese-supreme-chicken-crust

it was at least $4 or so at the outlet

on the slack channel yesterday someone posted an image of a dr oetker fish finger pizza and my response was 'i'd still eat that' so everyone otm basically

yuck and furthermore yuck.

cauliflower pizza crust is also disgusting, if you're going to have sad frozen pizza just accept that it's horrible for you and move on

People get that one usually because it's gluten free

is "pizza line" the new British term for mutual jack/off sesh or ...?

is jack/off the unreleased X-rated cut of the Nic Cage / Travolta movie or ...?

"I'm gonna jack his frenulum... off"

holy lol

a porn parody where they swap penises?

a what now

Initially misread that as 'a pom parody', was cool it.

pomography

Is that like a porn tomography?

I'm cool with turning this thread into ILX's very own collective retelling of The Aristocrats btw.

...Excelsior!

I have never once read "pom" without first registering as "porn"

chicken
tomato sauce
cheese

what’s the problem?

what if... can we make the crust out of cheese

what if we made the entire pizza out of

~edibles~

what if you have a chicken crust, a sauce made of chicken thrown into the blender, and chicken as a topping

I'd chew up a couple of chicken crust pizzas and use the resulting paste as a sandwich spread between two intact chicken crust pizzas

the kfc double frown

this chicken crust looked like a double-thick lunchables turkey circle

of 8" diameter

an oversized offspring of the pizza and cracker lunchables offerings born in hell

and sent up to the earth's surface to lure us all into an eternal, salty damnation

i'd eat the fish finger pizza too fwiw

the box advertised 3 cheeses but the flavor was one: cheddar. one flavor in 3 cheeses.

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/ammon-bundy-pledges-physical-defense-for-those-who-defy-idahos-covid-19-order

oh please oh please oh please gather up at the bundy ranch, true believers

― let me be your friend on the other end! (Karl Malone), Friday, April 3, 2020 1:54 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

ranch covidians

― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver),

dang