Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

The anti-antisaltzealots have seemingly managed to get the salt back onto McDonald's fries...

So, anyroad, does this mean himself is actually eating the Turkey Twizzlers?

Just a thought:

This:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/06/21/article-1194589-056DDACF000005DC-333_468x350.jpg

.. is possibly not the best pic to insist that the Polar bears are not endangered, and that the ice-caps are not melting...

Guys, the book was co-written by an anaesthetist and a doctor. But hey, they're Professors so they must know all about climatology, right?

That looks faked (xp)

Yeah they coaxed the bear up there with Tunnocks teacakes.

Fox's Glacier Mints surely?

Coka Cola?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_T-x4i90b1hc/RsXXdVBtksI/AAAAAAAABkM/WPDQYIxF4H8/s400/fox.jpg

I think maybe the point of the picture is "lol this isn't really happening", not that they just didn't notice there was melting ice under the polar bear

I think the point of the picture is "let's firebomb Northcliffe House".

it's a different viewpoint, i thought you hippies loved all that perspective-inclusion shit.

What about Pingu's mum?

Has she got it goin' on or something?

She's a stay at home mum. And look at all the trouble Pingu gets into. Oh, right I see what they're doing...

it's very subtle, that's the thing

Laura Kemp's only other article - from last month.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1181379/Welcome-Mummy-Tummy-Club-Julia-Roberts-Actress-bares-stretch-marks-heroine-real-women.html

In essence, we celebrate the realities of motherhood, embrace CBeebies and stick two fromage-frais-covered fingers up at the perfectly coiffured, designer-dressed women who effortlessly juggle career, toddler and - gasp - sex life.

"The doom-mongers love to tell us we're all going to hell in a handcart. But don't panic!" This from the famously doom-averse, panic-alleviating, look-on-the-bright-side Daily Mail.

xp she's obviously their CBeeebie correspondent, working out the hidden messages embedded by New Labour. Next article: the Teletubbies told me to do it!

Laura Kemp's CBeebies analysis reminds me of those right-wing critics in the 60s who looked for Communist propaganda in Beatles songs.

Like The Manchurian Candidate, only with more childrens entertainment.

I felt more than a little nauseous after seeing this strapline on the front of today's Mail , FARRAH THE FALLEN ANGEL: HOW DRUGS, ALCOHOL, BOTCHED SURGERY AND AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH RYAN O'NEAL DESTROYED THE 70S ICON, BY GEOFFREY WANSELL. Honestly, fuck the lot of them.

all of those things clearly contributory factors to her cancer. jesus christ.

Daily Mail writer reviews a film he hasn't seen, gets very angry about it

This is a humdinger.

"fully confirming our jihadist enemies' view of us as a society in the last stages of corruption and decay."

ARE THEY WITH US, OR AGAINST US??? SO CONFUSING

"Lars Von Trier makes film containing graphic sex, maybe the Taliban were right all along."

It doesn't surprise me that Antichrist was heavily subsidised by the Danish Film Institute to the tune of 1.5 million euros.

Not the Danish Film Institute!

Those destabilisers of the free economies of the western world!

If you dont like it, dont watch it!
- Dan, Staffordshire, 19/7/2009 21:54

he didn't!

I'm slightly disappointed that the comments box is full of sensible-ish people calling him out on it. Give it until lunchtime...

There, horrors the likes of which I have never witnessed...

Quite.

If I were to see Antichrist, I don't believe for a moment that it would incite me into copycat violent behaviour or make me a danger to others. But it would poison my mind and imagination, with explicit, ferocious scenes of sexual violence that would stay with me for ever.

Isn't that good enough reason to ban it, or at least demand extensive cuts?

Genius

"Extensive cuts" in that context is unfortunate.

Previous ar4ticle by C Hart.

The Genesis enigma: How DID the Bible describe the evolution of life 3,000 years before Darwin?

Debate with the Mail: Was Michael Jackson the Mozart of our time or a sign of a bankrupt culture?

Like a good wine, she just gets better with age. So move over Gordon Brown - let's make Joanna Lumley PM!

Like a good wine, she just gets better with age. So move over Gordon Brown - let's make Joanna Lumley PM!

Say this to someone, and ask them which newspaper. Today!

Haha, the bit where he goes on about Bruno being just as bad because of gay men in baths with babies, but that's OK because it makes you laugh (even though gayist are obviously paedos) = genius.

Also genius how they illustrate this shocking depravity with pictures of its shocking depravity in a paper which will be happened upon by many more children that some Lars von Trier film ever will.

oh wow this is a beaut!

that genesis enigma article is about a writer who is dumber than hart himself.

...horrors the likes of which I have never witnessed unfold in graphic detail. Probably. But I've, y'know, never witnessed them.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204359/In-week-Harriet-Harman-takes-charge-feminist-initiative.html

kind of lol but mostly actually pretty hateful

Pupils as young as five will be taught about the evils of 'wife beating' and the need to form healthy relationships.

Love the use of 'wife beating' there, as if it's an urban myth or something.

Good! Wish they'd taught me how to beat my wife when I was at school but my Mum always said I shouldn't hit women or policemen! Since then I've learned that women should never have been given the vote and should have it taken from them a.s.a.p. and removed from the House of Commons! After all it's only since they've introduced their sloppy housekeeping accounting methods that MP's have got in a muddle with their expenses!

- Ralph Smith, Vancouver BC Canada, 5/8/2009 1:58
Click to rate Rating +7

er, +7 is in bold but those characters don't display it very well

Daily Mail comments box trolls are one of those things that never fail to brighten up my day.

I've really developed a fascination with building a picture of the people who rate every single comment underneath a story on there... there must be a three-figure number of them, going through the doggerel, every day, getting some squirt of adrenaline out of it that you or I may never understand

Maybe we could organise a group of four or five hundred people to spend a few weeks rating "wrongly" on the Mail site and change their whole editorial ethos.

It might be the only chance we ever get to influence a New Labour government policy on anything

Maybe we could organise a group of four or five hundred people to spend a few weeks rating "wrongly" on the Mail site and change their whole editorial ethos.

i do this on the rare times i visit, to soothe my conscience for giving them the page-view

The most eye-catching proposal in the document is the one to force schools to introduce statutory lessons in 'educating children and young people about healthy, nonviolent relationships'.

You've got to give them credit for spinning a whole shock horror story from such meagre fare. I hope the Mail never introduces charging, I shall miss it.

Feminist agenda: Under controversial plans, schoolboys will be taught not to beat their partners or any other female

^ What happens when subs stop thinking about what they're writing/reading. I can see how something like that comes about -- "Need to mention controversy! Need to use dog-whistle words! Need to get across the story!" -- but the result is fucking barking nonsense.

they're not just there for the nasty things in life:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204641/New-ID-cards-supposed-unforgeable--took-expert-12-minutes-clone-programme-false-data.html#

As a chilling twist, he adds a message that would be visible to any police officer or security official who scanned the card: 'I am a terrorist - shoot on sight.'

bit of a dick move for any chilling terrist tbh