US Politics, March 2020 — There’s a very good chance you’re not going to die.

So not gonna happen

Republicans are trying to insert abortion restrictions into the emergency bill.

a quarter of the country are evangelicals and another 20% are Catholic, the former at least are are well organized politically via churches (and white American Catholics often might as well be evangelical Protestants)

The white evangelical movement is just a big decentralized socially acceptable white supremacist hate group

They worship death, it’s awesome

Having been raised in the environment, I can confirm their death worship. Armageddon is all they've ever cared about and longed for.

btw isn't it just adorable that Trump keeps talking about looking into vaccines a) like nobody else has already been doing that and b) like they can just be crapped out in a week?

wait til someone tells him 2021 is likely the earliest we'd seen one

the perfect prescription

silby and sparkle motion both seem like they're exaggerating but yes i wholeheartedly agree

like, that's totally true of the part of it that i experienced. and many others as well. i want to think that it's an exaggeration because that would be more comfortable to live with, but holy shit, trump is who he is and this is happening

https://i.imgur.com/2l7Ydg6.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/be47XEk.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/DKkqEyw.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/U14Wzf6.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/cf3gpLm.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/CgyKUvH.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/yuTtTzL.jpg

uh, hail satan. not sure what else to say. fight the power

pretty creepy to see that sinner michael cohen behind him in that last image

It takes all those people to coax the president into taking a crap

it's the glorious apotheosis of narcissism

(pun intended)

I’m imagining what happens immediately after these photos are taken- they all shrivel up and die, Raiders of the Lost Ark style, as Trump absorbs their life force and gains their evil powers and super-moves.

help a raised-by-atheists out, is this laying of hands normal prayer practice? the one that looks like he's smirking is pretty chilling

also enjoyed the massive rings on that follow shot one

normal prayer practice = performatively acting like a pious tool, iirc

wait til someone tells him 2021 is likely the earliest we'd seen one

― sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Friday, March 13, 2020 1:18 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I personally have seen video of people explicitly telling him precisely this on at least two occasions. I'm sure people have additionally told him dozens of times when he wasn't on camera. He doesn't hear, he doesn't process, he doesn't care.

Note it only allows States to amend their unemployment benefits laws, but....STATE LEGISLATURES, GET MOVING, NOW!

https://www.reuters.com/article/usa-economy-labor/u-s-labor-department-allows-unemployment-benefits-for-coronavirus-idUSW1N29L03G?

He doesn't hear, he doesn't process, he doesn't care.

....cocaine

(riff)

I know religion is a deeply personal matter but I see this stuff and I am like "how can anyone keep a straight face during this???"

I guess touching the orb only shielded him for about 2 years

all of the rituals from my churchgoing days make me break into hysterics now.

Our God is an Awesome God, twelve year old me now sings "my cock is an awesome cock", it really improves the song

Having grown up going to both mainline protestant and evangenical mega-church in NJ and MI I never once witnessed the laying on of hands

I used to go to church with different friends after saturday night sleepovers. It was fine... wouldn't recommend it on yelp.

Death...is here:

Omg this ⁦@anitakumar01⁩ story. Jared Kushner asked model Karlie Kloss’ dad (his brother’s father in law) for suggestions to fight coronavirus, so he turned to a Facebook group for ER doctors—telling them he had a “direct channel” to the WH. https://t.co/Vy4mWE1C3h

— Natasha Bertrand (@NatashaBertrand) March 13, 2020

i grew up catholic and we did not do that kind of weird bullshit

Our God is an Awesome God, twelve year old me now sings "my cock is an awesome cock", it really improves the song

― sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Friday, March 13, 2020 10:17 AM (thirteen minutes ago)

there's a Kranium song where he refers to his penis as "Jehovah Thickness"

It takes all those people to coax the president into taking a crap

hahaha

Picture me taking a crap
I said never

Neanderthal bringing the lolz today, thanks

MAJOR BREAKING NEWS: NPR Source Says Trump Blocked Coronavirus Testing in January to Aid His Reelection Chances By Keeping US Infection Figures Low

NOTE: Please RETWEET this—America needs to know what this monster did. Thousands of future deaths will rightly be laid at his feet. https://t.co/FFGm5BDmIF

— Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) March 12, 2020

Picture me taking a crap
color it peach and black

can we just not, with the seth abramson content

he's annoying but the substance of the quote from Fresh Air is important.

yeah I was about to ignore until I saw what he was retweeting

https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/andrew-gillum-in-alleged-meth-incident-in-miami-beach-police-say-11594094

The officers stated that one of the men involved in the incident, Aldo Mejias, had lent Dyson his credit card information to rent a hotel room yesterday afternoon. The two men were supposed to meet later that day. Mejias told the officers that he arrived at the hotel room around 11 p.m. Mejias said Dyson opened the door and then immediately collapsed on a bed and started vomiting. Mejias said he began giving Dyson CPR and called 911.

In the meantime, Mejias said Gillum was inside the hotel room "under the influence of an unknown substance." As Mejias was giving Dyson CPR, Mejias said, Gillum was inside a bathroom vomiting. Officers said they tried to speak to Gillum, but he was too inebriated to talk. Miami Beach Fire-Rescue said it responded a second time to Gillum later that night for a welfare check and said Gillum had returned to stable condition.

The officers said they found three small baggies of "suspected crystal meth" on "both the bed and floor of the hotel room." Officers said Gillum left the hotel room "without incident" that night and went home.

party til you puke

goddamn it

wtf?

Bitch set me up.

they told me they had some coronavirus vaccine up in the hotel room

The Prison abolition movement is getting a boost:

BREAKING: Bexar County Judge -- County suspending arrests for minor offenses so to not crowd jail during public health emergency. No juries for 30 days.

— KSAT 12 (@ksatnews) March 13, 2020

Should I post the Andrew Gillum news here or

scroll up