2020 Democratic presidential primary thread, pt 3: life is very long

Gonna be a lot of “he had a change of heart” excuses right up until mid-2019 when he finally gave up the Hyde Amendment. A callow young man of 77, people learn!

He's still attacking his "friends" on the far left with bullshit claims of their outrageous positions though. And he's still invoking black men as signifiers with his stupid cornpop story, so in 50 years I guess he's learned... to tone it down?

unperson setting new standards in handwaving

xp. listen fat: corn pop was a bad dude, jack

whenever I see Doug Henwood tweets I think for a second that thar "Super High Me" comedian has cleaned up and turned into a pundit

Pete Buttigieg has a new gig lined up this week: taking over late-night hosting duties for Jimmy Kimmel https://t.co/zTjFvWr3GY

— Vulture (@vulture) March 9, 2020

glad they were able to track down an equally funny substitute

Pete's been on a roll since dropping out. He even sent me a private OKCupid message on Sunday.

trying to figure out if i would rather have pete the fucking mayor or amy fucking klobuchar rather than joe fucking biden as democratic nominee. grim

Klobuchar’s brains aren’t melting.

Pete and*

(jihad >>>>>>>) klobs > biden > pete imho

Uh, have Butts or Klobs suddenly aged to their mid-70s? Because if not, no thanks!

I want a president who I can imagine being spoonfed a jello cup by his live-in nurse before being helped into a tepid bath.

And yes, it's called a fetish, and I refused to be shames.

John Delaney dropped out quite some time ago, unfortunately.

whenever I see Doug Henwood tweets I think for a second that thar "Super High Me" comedian has cleaned up and turned into a pundit

I just picture this guy:

https://images.thestar.com/oW33akddP-azSt0VvHFzHqdem-Y=/1086x1075/smart/filters:cb(2700061000)/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/news/gta/2010/10/18/magicians_family_vanishes_from_walk_of_fame_guest_list/henningjpg.jpeg

I’m not scrolling back to find who posted it here, but that sentiment analysis thing that purports to prove anything about the meanness of Bernie bros or anyone else Is absolute dogshit and it’s embarrassing to see otherwise rightly tech-skeptical people share it.

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Monday, March 9, 2020 11:10 AM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I figured as much, and my prior is that I don’t really care about the truth one way or another as it is probably unknowable and subjective, but could you explain why?

xp Neil Peart?

"sentiment" is a very reductive measure of something completely unrelated to whether people are being nice. it's kind of a joke in the machine learning community. but even if it weren't, out ability to measure anything related to human language in a reliable, automated way using machine learning is dubious at best, not least because if you show two _people_ the same document they won't agree about the answer.

This past week politico had a story about Bernie staring into own grave and one about how Michigan could be his burial

Very normal

Obi-Wan Bama hovers in the b.g.

pic.twitter.com/J9pR69N6dh

— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) March 9, 2020

lol i also kept thinking y'all were talking about Doug Henning, who i know only from revelations about some of his famous (?) illusions in classic 80s bathroom reader /Bigger Secrets/

"sentiment" is a very reductive measure of something completely unrelated to whether people are being nice. it's kind of a joke in the machine learning community. but even if it weren't, out ability to measure anything related to human language in a reliable, automated way using machine learning is dubious at best, not least because if you show two _people_ the same document they won't agree about the answer.

I buy this; at the same time, "bernie has much more twitter followers than other candidates" (and more online supporters more broadly) makes more sense to me as an explanation than "bernie's big bad mean man behavior uniquely unleashes the ids of leftists" or whatever

are there even primaries today? turnouts are going to be horrible.

good luck usa

538 has Biden over 99% to win, we're doomed

it would be really really funny if (redacted) got (redacted) and just dropped (redacted)

I had a dream the other night that a doddering Trump dunked hard and consistently on an even more doddering Biden during a debate. Maybe it was actually a premonition, who knows.

almost certainly tbh

sorry I don't know why I censored that last post, the redacted words were "Klobuchar", "a record deal" and "a sweet mixtape"

the small but real possibility that something could happen to render Biden incapable of continuing his campaign is probably just about the only real reason for Bernie to stay in the race if he gets throttled today.

If something happens to Biden, pledged delegates have discretion in how they align themselves.

You are, I hope, also aware that "something could happen" to render Sanders incapable of continuing his campaign, and the same applies.

yes we all know that thx, we're speculating about nice things that could happen, for kicks

yeah of course i am.

certainly all of Biden's delegates could jump to someone new at the convention but I guess at least Bernie would have a case if he'd amassed a good number himself, anyone else would be just parachuting in

I hope that we, as a country, are taking serious stock of the current situation so that we can avoid having an all-septuagenarian slate of presidential candidates in the future. 100% octogenarian or gtfo, imo.

I'm sorry, that fact just keeps smacking me right in the face and it seems more patently absurd every fucking time.

younger candidates could help by sucking less next time

I don't think Castro sucked, but he never really had a chance.

The party bosses should start setting more standards about who can run. Perhaps a prequalifying questionnaire could focus on potential candidates' stances on the issues that are most relevant to Cranky Olds: the early bird special at Denny's c/d. Sandals with socks y/n. Kids on lawns y/n. t/s Dentucreme vs. Polident. Depends vs. Pampers.

clouds: to yell at or not to yell at?

I like the "draw a clock" idea.

younger candidates could help by sucking less next time

it seems to me that the desire to be POTUS is usually a red flag that a person should not be considered

I just finished writing a really long thing that I intend to post on FB prior to the Ohio primary next week on why I am voting for Sanders. The older members of my family who are Democrats are all ride-or-die for Biden now and I'm trying to convince them otherwise.

the lord's work

The older members of my family will die.

it seems to me that the desire to be POTUS is usually a red flag that a person should not be considered

― brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, March 10, 2020 2:11 PM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

There's a sci fi short story where a guy tries to get his drivers' license but they make him watch movies or do some VR thing of tragic car crashes. At the end it turns out that anyone who still wants their license is disqualified from getting one. I think about that story a surprising amount.

See also: Groucho Marx's "I would never belong to any club that would have me as a member."

Jay Inslee didn’t suck and wouldn’t have been septuagenarian until three weeks after inauguration

100% octogenarian or gtfo, imo.

Biden 2028

inslee might be a good candidate for the 2024 primary that will happen no matter who wins. people will at least hopefully recognize his name enough to keep him afloat for the early part of the primary