local businesses with horribly formed "names"

you used your finger to press myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Not going to subject my phone's browser to the preceding 900+ posts, but just in case no one has mentioned the many, many dog groomers who name their business "Doggy Style" I'll go ahead and nominate them all, and pray that they someday break free from the tacky shackles of awful taste that bind them.

Yesterday, I learned of a nail salon called Finger Bang

Somewhere there's a hubcap shop with a pun on rimming in its name and no, I will not google it.

Lanarkshires (sic) first dedicated self service dog wash

https://www.inairdrie.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/81334257_captain_dugwash.jpg

Not really horribly formed, pretty funny actually.

More dog-related content (and funny).

https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/101661287_2676989252546675_3045121268719288320_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=2bcLqYo_pQQAX8aFE1E&_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-1.xx&oh=d9c9fb31c1c7b62fe7d26e409de40373&oe=5EFDEAB0

stolen from a friends twitter when he visited Downham Market in Norfolk

https://imgur.com/QlV8Seg
https://imgur.com/yR7VmYo

https://i.imgur.com/QlV8Seg.jpg?1
https://i.imgur.com/yR7VmYo.jpg

Good stuff.

Hardly spectacular pun-making, but there's a food van I pass on my current regular cycle route called 'Simply Bread'. The van is red, of course.

Holding Back the Yeast

http://prawnbrokerfortmyers.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2015/07/prawnlogo1.png

The Prawnbroker (Ft. Myers, FL)

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/27/77/f4/2777f4c87952949e1a2d3a16ae7e3677.jpg

"We conspire to serve you great ribs!'

Québécois version:

https://media1.ledevoir.com/images_galerie/nwd_838049_666263/image.jpg

The Office québécois de la langue française has incidentally launched an investigation into it.

Apparently their menu features the 'Phô King Cochon' (fucking pig, but 'cochon' can also mean 'racy'), 'Phô King Deal', 'cock-tails', 'Flash Thé Saint' (i.e. 'flash tes seins', flash your tits), 'Lichi Mwa Lku' ('lèche-moi le cul', lick my ass) and the self-explanatory 'Pho Ktup'. SHOCKING!!!

Similarly there's a furniture retailer here in the east end of Glasgow called 'Sofa King'... "sofa king cheap" etc.

SNL did a whole bit on this: https://vimeo.com/207212097

also reminds me of the "hilarious" K-Mart 'ship your pants' commercials

Saw a van go past today from "The Waggin' Train" dog walking service.

on the Long Island Railroad a few weeks back I saw out the window a strip-mall tattoo place called Monsters Ink. the middle panel of their plastic sign was off the building, propped up on the edge of the parking lot, so it just read Monst Ink, and i imagined the owner getting a cease-and-desist letter from Pixar and thinking "aha, THIS'll get them off my back!" but maybe it was just a cheap sign that fell apart. apparently they are permanently closed so maybe it's just the ravages of time.

This might be more for a 'great names for businesses' thread but there is a van in my area bearing the legend 'I & I Carpentry'. I've not seen the driver yet; I'm desperate for it to be a dude in a tam.

'We'll look after your joints'.
'Under heavy spanners'.
'We work for (Yabby) You'.

I reckon quite a few of the names here over the years are brilliantly (and often simultaneously horribly) formed.

Mon stink!

Mon stink is great as a horribly formed French business

Not the name of the place but a local business had a sign for the last year with “ask about” on its own line but terrible kerning made it read “a ska bout” so I always pictured nerds with horns and pork pie hats engaging in fisticuffs

Lethal Injections tattoo parlor, Cambridge, MD.

jesus

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/aron-waltons-tattoo-studio-must-4705580

Nev er mind the fact he's a plonker, but what's with the name? Am I missing a clever pun of some sort?

Cross-post to the Freemen on the Land thread
"Mr Walton has presented arguments against lockdown which appear to be rooted in the “freeman on the land” conspiracy theory.

Its proponents say laws only apply to someone with their consent. No such argument has ever succeeded in court."

I don't think it's a pun btw

Except for the holy/holey pun.

'Holy skin' isn't a phrase afaik? (is it?) Can't say it's really bothered me before, though!

Not that I know of, but maybe they specialize in religious/new agey/etc work, and thought the "hole" aspect of tattooing was worth the stretch.

“I make holes in your skin”

maybe they do a lot of piercing? otherwise, I would not want to get a tattoo from a guy who said "yeah we'll put some holes in your skin"; seems like he may be missing the point.

local businesses causing horribly deformed skin

Meanwhile down in Penzaaaaaaaaaance...

https://www.spandauvalet.co.uk/

Nothing Bundt Cakes is already pretty drippy, but the logo looks like it says "butt cakes"

http://realmenuprices.com/wp-content/uploads/Nothing-Bundt-Cake.jpg

Especially from a distance, like on a sign

https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/024/521/484/small/bri-lashelle-bundt-cake-logo-concepts-06.jpg

That's one of the worst so far
"those really 'nothing' bundt cakes, meh"

The name is bad enough, but the logo looks like an actual turd.

They should really team up with these folks: local businesses with horribly formed "names"

The name is bad enough, but the logo looks like an actual turd.

― epistantophus, Tuesday, December 8, 2020 9:09 AM bookmarkflaglink

Nutty Butt Cakes

Dog groomers in airdrie called captain dugwash

:/

https://tableagent.s3.amazonaws.com/media/originals/2985_7575.jpg

Misread ar 'creepery'. Like, a place for creeps and creeping.

loooool that's amazing

There used to be a breakfast place in the Castro (SF) called Squat & Gobble too (its looong gone now)

The Bread Pitt ( bakery) here in Amsterdam