bojo is king, brexit is on, stuff is fvcked, tomorrow starts here -- new govt new thread new battle

Fortunately I am married to a self-hating Englishman

tbh I've yet to meet any nice English people who don't seem entirely apologetic about their country (London bubble I guess)

just saw another dumb-ass Boris voter on Sky News (Vic Haddock, wearing a Wolves hat) who currently has a river of effluent flowing through his living room and is saying "I've supported you Boris, now can you support me". Yeah of course because tory governments love huge infrastructure spends on improving flood defenses for thick fucking potato-headed cunts like you!

c'mon boris, come and look at the floods while getting constantly bodied by angry locals as you limply shove a mop around the floor of a sub-aqua carphone warehouse

he's never leaving number 10 again unless it's to go and sexually harass waitresses on a jolly to mustique funded by the multimillionaire founder of recyclethehomeless.biz

Death can't come quickly enough for the Telegraph tbh

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/02/20/brexit-britain-true-heir-ancient-greece-just-ask-elgin-marbles/

... supposed to be funny?!?!

if those desperately limp opening paragraphs are anything to go by, i've never been so glad to be locked out of an article

Even if you actually subscribe to the Telegraph that article still just fades into white after a few paragraphs.

The fading is a beautiful effect here, makes me wish it actually goes on for hundreds and hundreds of pages of drivel no-one will ever read

The pub note effect irl

bore, ffs

For some reason, in my work, I'm able to read all of it - not that I did, a quick skim was sufficient.

tom d finally unmasked as charles moore

The fading is a beautiful effect here,

aptly so, you'd have to say

oh shit and I forgot to moisturise this morning

📍Oxford Circus | #FacialRecognition

Police facial recognition van on Oxford Circus opposite Nike Town.

Three cameras scanning everyone going in and out of the tube. pic.twitter.com/WEP7WsYd66

— Liberty (@libertyhq) February 20, 2020

the word dystopian is overused but...

I'm starting to feel like Will Smith in Enemy of the State just going to the co-op for some butter.

are you being menaced by Gene Hackman

iirc the tech that's most commonly used for these kind of facial recognition programmes has like a 75% success rate, which seems kinda reassuring on one hand but also lol i'm gonna go down for a ten stretch because ai judge dredd thinks i'm someone else

Hackman was tailing me but last I saw he was being happy slapped by a gang of children. He didn't factor half-term into his surveillance game!

Seems like it's only a matter of time before the laws allowing police to demand that you don't cover your face are extended or, at the extreme, zones in London where covering your face is illegal are introduced.

Dazzle ships face paint for club kids is already a thing.

yeah, it does make one wonder at additional ulterior motives for the ever-popular burka ban

Sounds bad.

The Financial Conduct Authority has issued a shock warning that mortgage borrowers who purchased properties through the Help To Buy scheme face the risk of negative equity.

— PropertyCohort (@PropertyCohort) February 20, 2020

if only we'd had help to rent instead #votelibdem

It did have the air of a wheeze to inflate new-build values but i guess the same advice would apply to anyone buying a new property?

I've heard so much other bad stuff about that help To buy scheme, from people getting fucked by annual ground rents, to dodgy newbuild homes built by tory donor with huge unresolved snag lists of construction flaws. This is supposed be the stuff the tories do right!

I think I've heard quite a few of these happy customers on that wonderful consumer affairs program on R4 that is like a window into the dark heart of middle England. Negative equity will be the cherry on the cake for them.

The FCA says of Help To Buy borrowers: “A stagnant housing market, combined with the new build premium, could see a reduced number of re-mortgage options relative to a non-HTB property. They are also more likely to face negative equity if property prices begin to fall.”

british homeowners: literally AND figuratively underwater

*tiny violin gif*

finally found a war he won’t support https://t.co/xBSpRAtZS5

— W////ΛM 🌹 forever (@willuminare) February 20, 2020

He justifies his call for mass murder by claiming certain races can be scientifically proved to be superior to other

This mass killer in Germany is one weirdo who slipped through Dominic Cummings' net.

He's why we need more weirdos - we cannot allow a weirdo gap!

Plenty of them itt for classic Dom to choose from

In hindsight, this was when Labour lost the election pic.twitter.com/xuMi0MRjWT

— Rosa (@rosagilbert) February 20, 2020

rebel rousing cameo from stoya with his man Starmer here in what seems like another era now: Stop The Coup!

> iirc the tech that's most commonly used for these kind of facial recognition programmes has like a 75% success rate, which seems kinda reassuring on one hand

there was an episode of Click where they had one of those vans in london, someone went past and covered his face, and he was on-the-spot fined £80 for disorderly behaviour (although that might be after he kicked up a fuss for being pulled over, but still...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oJqJkfTdAg

I have a not completely rational hatred for the guy that presents Click.

iirc the tech that's most commonly used for these kind of facial recognition programmes has like a 75% success rate, which seems kinda reassuring on one hand

About a 0% success rate for black people iirc

i’m sure our plucky bobbies will find a way to oppress black people even without the help of an algorithm

just got my first phonecall from a team RLB campaigner, he soon realised I didn't need any persuading but brought up the 2nd preferences issue and I told him I'm victory or death with no 2nd pref. Told him they can use that as a campaign slogan and I won't charge them.

Tfw you don't want to blow your cover as a Keir Starmer astroturfing front https://t.co/m3it0q2Utf

— Loki (@Lokinash06) February 20, 2020

Alan Partridge voice: This is unity

Death can't come quickly enough for the Telegraph tbh

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/02/20/brexit-britain-true-heir-ancient-greece-just-ask-elgin-marbles/

... supposed to be funny?!?!

― Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Friday, February 21, 2020 12:16 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Standards really slipping as any fule no the first king of the britons was Brutus of Troy.

It's not colonialism it's ach well you know

"Brutus Bites Bottoms!" used to be the motto of this dodgy paedo PE teacher we had had who ..never mind!

well had a slipper he called Brutus that he used to menacingly parade up and down the shower area with!

Working exactly as intended:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/21/immigration-rules-post-brexit-could-fuel-modern-slavery-say-charities

brutus bites bottoms while big ben bongs for brexit, bellows boris in bellicose broadside

1. Get tougher on immigration
2. "Blimey those Eastern-European workers are still coming over, stealing *our* jobs *illegally* this time!"
3. Get even tougher on immigration
4. Profit?

jings

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ERS6NjNWoAELhbY?format=jpg&name=900x900

does Rory have any kind of casual association with Sting? That could be damning evidence.

#RoryWanks