Your next 2020 Democratic presidential primary thread: Now we're serious

profiles in courage

Former Michigan Rep. Mark Schauer endorses Mike Bloomberg for president. Schauer, a Democrat, ran for governor in 2014. At that time, Bloomberg spent millions to help incumbent Republican Gov. Rick Snyder defeat Schauer #migov

— David Eggert (@DavidEggert00) February 17, 2020

Thank you sir, may I have another?

*hic*

my take was that it was either lis smith or someone really horny for lis smith and the latter has not been disproven

lis smith does seem pretty horny for lis smith tbf

well, she has put her own foot in her mouth on occasion, if you catch my drift

lol

loooooool

it doesn't make you evil incarnate to believe the sockpuppet is real i guess.. it just makes you a fucking rube lol

yeah, what rubes to not believe in a sockpuppet account theory that was built on two grains of sand

admittedly I fell for it too but despite the circumstantial evidence, you have to believe in a more absurd theory to believe Lis is running her own account, considering they interviewed the man behind it.

it's a stupid fucking story. ashamed I even shared it for lols yesterday.

At what point in the dismissal of contrary evidence is it fair to call this a conspiracy theory?

my sources are telling me lis is actually behind the influential account "neopets 4 pete"

Speaking of Bloomberg endorsements, Chotiner’s interview of Muriel Bowser over at the New Yorker is pretty classic

He did it again to people last night in Houston, recognizing it was a policy that had unintended consequences,

mmhmm

What the fuck "unintended consequences" did it have? It did exactly what it was designed to do, and exactly what he explained on tape it was supposed to do.

he didnt intend to ever be held publicly accountable for it

He all but called the federal judge who blocked it a bimbo

'whoa whoa whoa when i brutally and systematically abused people of color through the nypd for years, i only intended to be universally praised and have my lil boots licked, i didnt intend for people to ever prevent from becoming king president!!! SHEEEESHHHHH!'

well fret not we'll all be getting an earful about how he's evinced "bravery and accountability, taking criticism in stride and learning valuable lessons from his past mistakes--the kind of leadership we need in an uncertain world" in no time.

sure, we'll hear it from #teambloomberg, whom he's paid to say such stuff

oh i expect we'll be hearing it from lots of places until super tuesday

Mr Burns has qualified for tomw night's debate

in Vegas

really wish we could just not with the debates, at least until after ST

So, here we find ourselves, back with Freud’s uncanny, unfunny “American” joke, standing before the portraits of two scoundrels. Which flavor of authoritarian oligarch would you prefer? The one who is bloodthirsty and vulgar about hating Muslims, or the one who is more polite and technocratic about it? The salivating, rabid racist, or the cool, self-congratulating one? The one who thinks he could get away with shooting someone on 5th Avenue, or the one whose personal “army” (as Bloomberg liked to refer to the NYPD) actually did after killing Sean Bell at 94th Avenue in Queens? The 73-year old man who measures his dick, or the 78-year old one who thinks the answer is to measure his head? The transgressive, sybaritic daddy who wants you to enjoy all the cheeseburgers you can, or the austere, martinet patriarch who will measure and ration your soda by the calories and ounce? The anal-sadistic pervert who is fixated on how toilets flush, or the anal-retentive one who obsesses over how long employees take to shit? Do you identify more with the retiree who is frustrated with their new, energy efficient appliances, or the still-hard-at-work tycoon who is furious at the inefficiency of his human employees? The lecher who’s fixated on pussy and tits, or the one who prefers mouths and ass?

https://nplusonemag.com/online-only/online-only/wheres-the-savior/

The question I ask myself is: if both were boiled down into sludge, which would be most effective in fertilizing my garden? There's really only one way to know for certain.

there's just physically a lot more of trump than there is of li'l munchkin mike so i feel like that is a big tick in his favour, but then mike is probably better fed and therefore maybe richer in nutrients?

i dunno, i think you're right, we're just gonna have to give it a shot and let science work it out

Who do we think has a higher concentration of adrenochrome in their system?

oh boy that's even harder to answer

I'll admit that beating the ol' 'eat the rich' drum is a little facile and lacking in nuance. In truth, there are innumerable uses for the rich once they've been broken down into their constituent parts.

In the future politicians will need to supply a tissue sample that we can put into the ol' mass spectrometer. About a pound should do.

Mr Burns has qualified for tomw night's debate

Did he actually hit the required individual donation threshold or nah?

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/feb/16/human-composting-could-be-the-future-of-deathcare

no Simon, it was a poll

thx NPR

really wish we could just not with the debates, at least until after ST

isn't there a chance that Sanders will eat him for lunch tomw night?

On the one hand, I'm all for the dude who hides behind ads and surrogates to be front-and-center for a change. On the other, if the moderators are shown on camera wearing luxurious silk robes while dining on lobster, I reserve the right to be concerned when they start asking Mike if he thinks the presidency will be more difficult for someone who's so handsome and adept as a lover.

not sure which thread to put this in, but here's a thought (that i think was probably expressed upthread somewhere):

if sanders and warren, who have built their campaigns on a critique of inequality and money in politics, can't make damning arguments against bloomberg on a debate stage (or, more likely, if voters aren't convinced) either they don't deserve to be the president or the country doesn't deserve to have a good president

why is every fuckin thread about bloomberg

as an online influencer, i have been paid handsomely to post about #bloomberg2020

Sanders will call him a schmuck I’m sure.

But I won’t actually know because as I’ve mentioned before I refuse to head the voice of any politician, they’re all Bene Gesserit witches

xpost lol, was just about to say 'looks like someone didn't get their check yet'

why is every fuckin thread about bloomberg

haha, sorry! i wasn't sure which one to post it on, since that thread is also hated. but he is now one of the leading contenders for the democratic primary, somehow, so this one seemed appropriate

Sanders is absolutely gonna go hard after Bloomy

Bloomps's last check to me bounced so, fuck him. I have some feelers out to other candidates who might Klompensate me adequately (hint hint)

The Crooked DNC is working overtime to take the Democrat Nomination away from Bernie, AGAIN! Watch what happens to the Super Delegates in Round Two. A Rigged Convention!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 18, 2020

what dimension of chess is this

They Are Bigger Riggers Than I Am

i hope he does. he never went after steyer but that was because steyer is the lincoln chafee of 2020.

but this whole "leave it to the voters to connect the very simple dots" thing doesn't work. you have to be like "BLOOMBERG IS A RICH DUDE THAT IS BUYING HIS WAY TO THE PRESIDENCY. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH POLITICS" or else the whole debate drifts by like friends season 7 to white people

xp

what dimension of chess is this

Chess is beyond him (the queen is only like a 5 and doesn't even have a grabbable pussy). He just wants to sow chaos and eat cold hamberders watching stuff burn.

xp apparently Chafee was at the Libertarian debate, lol

i saw a screenshot of him standing next to wolfman or something, in that debate.