Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

also metaphors are bad

also similes are like a thing that is bad

no matter how many times I look it up, my brain cannot hold onto the meaning of "ornate"... it always reads as "featureless" or "plain" to me, even though I know that's wrong

Nothing featureless or plain about The Shape Of Jazz To Come or Dancing In Your Head.

I always have to struggle to remind myself that "enervated" means drained of energy.

Huh, I had no idea.

And that nonplussed means perplexed not unimpressed

it's all very plussing imo

'noisome' always confuses me

I think the meaning of nonplussed is changing bcs so many people use it to mean unimpressed, esp. in the US(?)

Restive another one like enervated

The way ppl misuse nonplussed is so random and leaves me nonplussed - I have a crackpot theory I’ve mentioned before that it’s because it sounds a bit like “not fussed” maybe? Similar to how ppl think craven means shameless instead of cowardly cause it sounds a bit like brazen. Neither is probably true but it’s what my dumb brain came up with to explain everyone else’s dumb brains

Been reading up on kombucha brewing and every time I see Scoby I get angry.

and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids

Speaking to a calendar year as if it's a person, eg "2020 you SUCK!"

Go home, (year), you're drunk.

"Second of all,"

^^^^

makes me nuts

'aesthetic' used used to suggest one specific aesthetic

"Thanks for coming to my TED talk" was bad enough when it became a meme, but now it seems to get talked on to like any opinion or affirmative statement as a sort of ironical "QED" which is not what I understood the meme to even mean.

not into the word 'eatery'

re: 'TED Talk' - maybe it's time to ironically revive 'Rant over' at the end of long social media posts about quotidien bugbears

Don't like "good faith/bad faith".

many of you would never encounter most of these phrases if you logged out of twitter

"trolling"

many of you would never encounter most of these phrases if you logged out of twitter

― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Wednesday, January 29, 2020 10:25 AM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

oooh otm, gonna die on this hill

Folks emphatically saying 'facts!' in reply, so annoying and ironic given the general shitshow we all inhabit at the moment.

"[...]. That's it. That's the tweet."

This, along with "whomst" and "period" are good signifiers for "unfollow this person"

The handclap icon between each word in a Tweet is the worst. And mostly morons use it

“...and it shows”
So petty!!

Folks emphatically saying 'facts!' in reply, so annoying and ironic given the general shitshow we all inhabit at the moment.

― Maresn3st, Wednesday, January 29, 2020 12:35 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

This.

We had an argument in my office today that divided the staff, it was regarding the correct past tense of "pet" which some were very, very insistent must be "petted" and could not be the more novel and apparently atrocious "pet" (as in "this my dog Bonito Flakes, he likes to be pet")... I united them against me by saying both usages were equally valid.

pooted

Petterated

you could make the case for potten being an option

stroked

petté

"... and it shows"

"Passed" for "died" is fairly recent in UK English, I think (although we've had "passing", "passed away" and "passed on" for ages); certainly recent enough for me still to think "passed what?" whenever I hear it in conversation.

mandatory terminology for questions of mortality in all settings, including funerals, should be 'carked it'

"Sorry for your loss" is the worst.

on lots of old graves from 18th to 20th centuries in the local old rectory grounds, they use "fell asleep" which seems quite fucking ridiculous to me. Especially if you died screaming in agony getting minced in a threshing machine or some dramatic death like that.

xp meaningless cant lines in times of most fathomless realities are the most useful words and phrases of all imo

Very much agree with that statement. One void calls for another.

well guess we'll never see her again that fuckin sucks! cheers

rip indeed

Re: "I'm sorry for your loss", I know that the writer is now awful but this is the sitcom scene that comes to my mind more often than any other:

http://www.youtube.com/TKOrr4XRbg8

https://youtu.be/TKOrr4XRbg8

meaningless cant lines in times of most fathomless realities are the most useful words and phrases of all imo

― (darraghpc) vs (darraghmac), Thursday, 30 January 2020 10:36 (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

thank you yes, you'd have to be a very special kind of bellend to worry about not being cliched ooh la la when faced with consoling somebody's loss

i mean obviously the drift of this thread is largely for being a very special kind of bellend but still

lol i remember my mum saying almost exactly that to a younger (and more bellendish) me when i was being prima donna-ish abt a condolence letter i was trying to write

well im defending it but im not up for calling anyone a cunt over it like