bojo is king, brexit is on, stuff is fvcked, tomorrow starts here -- new govt new thread new battle

It made me so angry to see [handsy writer] just chattering away on a few mutuals’ FB threads over the past few days.

Spoon-bending psychic Uri Geller believes his “paranormal abilities” could help the Government secure post-Brexit trade deals with the US and the European Union.

The 73-year-old illusionist has put his name forward for a role in Boris Johnson’s administration following a call for “weirdos” to apply for jobs in Downing Street.

He told the PA news agency that his “psychic powers” and “telepathic abilities” – as well as his “charisma, chutzpah and contacts” – would ensure the UK reaches a deal by the end of 2020.

Geller said there was “no doubt in my mind” that he would be able to help the Government if he was given a role at Number 10.

“With my energies, with my mind power, with my know-how, with my connections to world leaders, I can definitely help with the Brexit negotiations,” he said.

Speaking from Old Jaffa in Israel, he said he did not know what name they would give his role if he was successful, but that he sees himself as an “international ambassador” to the Prime Minister.

old jaffa indeed

Would still not be the biggest shyster in this gov

Have we seen this yet?

The Jess Phillips Campaign so far pic.twitter.com/vjmWlnbQeb

— Guybrush Tweetgood (@Gordopolitz) January 8, 2020

I've just remembered this iconic moment from the 2015 Leadership campaign: pic.twitter.com/KKiX6hqVvn

— Ben Gartside (@BenGartside) January 8, 2020

5 years ago is such a distant galaxy

Corbyn really dropped the ball on these dicks

so apparently our fave working class hero of the midlands took some huge undeclared donation from a property developer that her campaign staff are nervous about or something*. How much fucking money does one household need? She's got her grasping hands in more pies than ..erm Fray "Bentos as a nine pound note" McBentos.

*obv not true at all and I don't believe a word of it

I did allude to that upthread! Loki dude on Twitter getting threatening DMs from people who may or may not be part of JP’s campaign along the lines of ‘there couldn’t possibly be anything to see here, right? RIGHT?’

More to the point who's got money to waste on Jess Phillips's patently doomed leadership campaign/prelude to forming Nu Babor?

I had a slightly deeper read into it and it is sounding more like previous expenses corruption rather than boris style dark money donations, which is probably easier to prove and easier to prosecute the unmentioned MP over? perhaps?

Calling it now that JP is going to finish below Lisa Nandy. Her campaign is a really awkward fudge of Blue Labourisms and a sort of Caitlin Moran metropolitanism and there are better placed candidates for both of those constituencies.

some of the MP's who've nominated her must be feeling embarrassed already.. apart from wes streeting of course. When she's getting savaged on GMTV or wherever it was imagine how much blood "heavyweights" like Peston are scenting!

Susanna Reid is pretty hardcore, she's managed to hold that job down without shivving Morgan, kudos to her

Nandy comes across as much more serious and driven, even if she is appalling in all other aspects. However, I guess Phillips might be in line for a lot of Starmer’s second preferences.

Tragically I assume the Marsan/Kennedy/Riley axis of tweevil won't be able to vote for her

I don't like Nandy's legit concerns rewind to 2015 agenda. But I can't imagine reading revelations that she is corrupt or has taken donations from corporate lobbyists. She's really muddled at times in her communications but this current campaign of hers is clearly rotten to the core and racist, but also I don't think she is as terrible as most politicians. if that makes any sense.

mia nonna ha detto "cosa vuoi da me bab?" pic.twitter.com/XC9iVvkWjU

— Cynical Bathtub (@cynical_bathtub) January 9, 2020

my grandmother said "what do you want from me bab?"!

Phillips is presumably in line for a lot of Starmer's second preferences but that would only matter if his campaign goes so badly he gets eliminated before her? Unless I've misunderstood the voting system, which is quite possible.

I think most people will choose RLB second to Starmer rather than JP. Starmer will get loads of second pref from all the women candidates’ supporters.

JP seems the kind of person who manages to alienate most of their potential allies at some point or another and the whiff of self-aggrandisment is so strong you'd have to be a total Streeting not to notice it

If you ever had any doubts about Starmer (y'know being a complete ruthless tory cunt at CPS, abstaining on welfare bill etc) then that he's using Owen Smith's campaign team should be enough to tell you he how serious he is about maintaining a centre-left manifesto.

well look when you have access to a barnstormingly successful team like that you'd be crazy not to use it

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EN503THWoAAlZ68?format=jpg&name=small

pysched for the ice cream van though!

kamala keir is a cop

If you ever had any doubts about Starmer (y'know being a complete ruthless tory cunt at CPS, abstaining on welfare bill etc) then that he's using Owen Smith's campaign team should be enough to tell you he how serious he is about maintaining a centre-left manifesto.

my cup (of trusteth thee melt mead) runneth over!

A lot of this stuff is partially true but more complex than it's painted.

The benefit fraud guidance was drawn up by the DPP when it passed responsibility over to the CPS, so Starmer's actual role was likely negligible. He did, however, contribute to the media rhetoric in a harmful way. As a side note, Thornberry wanted the maximum sentence to be 14 years.

The CPS didn't charge PC Harwood the first time around because there was a difference of opinion between coroners as to whether there was a direct link between the assault and the death, though when evidence of that link was presented, they did.

There was never much prospect of MI6 agents being charged in relation to renditions to Libya but Starmer was responsible for running the investigation in a way that the families concerned were very unhappy with. They felt it was rushed and not taken seriously enough.

The de Menezes case was outrageous but the nature of the law around manslaughter made it very difficult to pinpoint exactly who, if anyone, could be charged. It was the result of negligence compounding negligence and if any individual had been fully responsible for all of it, they'd likely have been convicted. As it was, it was a whole team of incompetents partially responsible for different bits. It's a good example (as with a lot of the banking stuff) of a case where a stronger remit for finding an organisation, rather than individuals, criminally liable would make a difference. There could have been a case for charging Cressida Dick iirc but without much prospect of conviction.

I am 100% Team RLB but idk who i'd give my second pref to if not Starmer.

they are quite a rum bunch to pick a second pref from tbf

did he need to unequivocally express how much he believed the benefit fraud guidance was correct etc.. there is only so many times you can make excuses for an establishment puppet who does bad things imo

Also regardless of who wins we aren't going back to 2010-15 - firstly, why would anyone want to? Labour lost. But the big thing is that whoever wins will be accountable to the membership, and if MPs don't want to end up reporting to the next Corbyn... well, the last five years should serve as an example as to what happens when all you can offer is a programme that's diametrically opposed to what most of your members want. It's very difficult to imagine any of the candidates going "well, you know, maybe what we need is a bit more austerity to show how responsible we are..."

I'm more worried about the rising appeal of Blue Labourism than anyone deciding it would be a good idea to emulate Ed Miliband's approach, or whatever Andy Burnham or Yvette Cooper were promising.

I'm more worried about the rising appeal of Blue Labourism than anyone deciding it would be a good idea to emulate Ed Miliband's approach, or whatever Andy Burnham or Yvette Cooper were promising.

I can't see Phillips or Nandy working constructively with the membership tbh. I think Starmer's 'ideologically flexible' enough to do so.

those scare quotes aren't scary enough!

Is their a sizeable blue labour chunk of the membership, I'm not sure what I even know about the makeup of the membership these days.

Nandy's polling would suggest not, However, the 'but what about the TOWNS' stuff seems to be resonating with some of the PLP and might have an appeal in parts of the trad Labour heartlands, i guess.

"Labour but racist" probably has more appeal than capital letters Blue Labour ever will.

It's more an appeal to a semi-notional chunk of the electorate than the membership tho. I guess Blue Lab might have a disproportionate toehold on the unions, maybe.

In the unions, sorry.

labour mps.... if you want to deliver change.... you need to stop using words like "radical" and "comrade" and "left wing" and "labour"..... the electorate voted in a tory government so now you must promise that forevermore https://t.co/bCQaLYPeAe

— Stan The Golden Boy (@tristandross) January 10, 2020

As a massive fan of Hitler documentaries I'm pretty sure the FBPE dorks will still be banging on about the war in 30 years time

'radical' is fine for public dissemination, 'comrade' is strictly for private camaraderie between comrades imo

we need to deliver real manspreading change

n.b. ilx is private

Not giving a fuck how you appear to basic racists is the comradely thing to do

idk I think if you’re going to be smeared as a godless Communist who hates Britain regardless you might as well do it your way

idk i just find it a bit cringe. can't we be allies or friends or something

in public, like. otherwise it is a bit cosplay isn't it

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_m7dzgd6ZIB1rbon87o1_500.gif&f=1&nofb=1

we laugh now but wait until somebody proves that public use of "comrade" cost us the red wall