star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

I would like to cancel Harry Potter

xp yeah, i get that for a lot of people this is an opportunity to revisit childhood/fatherhood/motherhood and i am less vehement in my declaration of "STOP BUYING HORSESHIT ASSHOLES" toward that demographic. but the money spends either way!

how "good" is the "good one"? as good as Aniara or as good as Fast Color?

Solo is better than Rogue One, worse than Kin Dza-Dza

that was the question, right?

is Skywalker better than The Gods Must Be Crazy or worse than Warhol's Empire?

If you watch a Star War with the expectation of it being a Good Film you are doing it wrong afaict.

rogue one is so awful i can't believe people rep for it

If you watch a Star War with the expectation of it being a Good Film you are doing it wrong afaict.

fixed

needless inspirational speeches, bad jokes, too many characters who are just there to die

i suppose my point is that, even more than most genre fiction, the scale for star wars related stuff is graded on such a vicious curve that I would very much like to hear 'it is good' from someone who is also watching a lot of other non-blockbuster movies so that i have likeminded hive thinking to base my viewing-investment on... especially given that i will never talk my gal L. into watching this stuff with me, so it would have to fit into highly-coveted 'watching on my own' time"
or basically Old Lunch otm

It's like my old saw wrt the MCU: I love the hell out of those things but I know what they are. None of them should be popping up on year-end lists.

Hardware Wars is the most realistic Star Wars film because it has an actual waffle iron in it

honestly i appreciate the level of generally better plotting, scripting and acting (than SW at least) that marvel aspires to and occasionally achieves. they have small moments! So does the mandalorian!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MF3M92ezEE

lol I was just about to mention the MCU as my own personal megafranchise that I can’t stand

I mean I'm not gonna poke that bees nest too severely but, yes, the MCU is like hella better and more coherent than the SW universe under Disney.

(And you can even just go ahead and strike out the 'under Disney' part tbrr.)

disagree but don’t hate the MCU enough to go full ulysses on it itt

(Cue clusterfuck in 3...2...)

FWIW I just last night started reading the novel Plagueis so I'm clearly a goddamn lost cause regardless of whatever junk culture franchise is under discussion at the given moment.

lmao i'm loving old lunch's journey through the star lore

(TBF, it's real fucken bad/borderline unreadable so far and I only started it with the expectation that it would be the kind of quick read a sixth-grader could get through on a couple of school bus trips so I might very well stop.)

one reason why i'm happy to go w/my kids to see star wars but have to be dragged to marvel movies is the sheer number of minutes the mcu dedicates to its joyless, undifferentiated fight scenes. crunch crunch crunch. fight fight fight BLEGH

i had a looong EU phase when i was in middle school, can't imagine going back and reading any of those books today.

This is a thing I've done a couple of times now, thinking I was going to take the EU plunge and see what's what but it never takes me long to realize that it's an ill-advised undertaking on par Bart Simpson licking a NYC subway pole.

Star Lore
Reading up on Star Lore

The problem with watching Star Wars is that no one wants to sit next to me because I'm cursing at the screen and mumbling.

xxp your best bet is probably the timothy zahn thrawn books, but there's a whole lotta silliness in there that was appealing to 12-year-old me that just might not hold up to adult scrutiny

luuke

My general impression of the SW universe is that it's comprised of a wealth of interesting tidbits and scenarios that very few people are able to weave into a compelling narrative.

luuke

― adam, Wednesday, January 8, 2020 11:54 AM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah i think the "hand of thrawn" duology is stronger than the trilogy tbh, mostly because it involves slightly less cloning silliness

Hey guys, there's a new, non-Legends Thrawn trilogy by Zahn starting soon!

(Don't know whether I'm more embarrassed about knowing this or about admitting that I know this.)

if they bring back pellaeon, i could be convinced...to read the plot summary on wookiepedia

And I would be thrilled to hear your brief encapsulation of that summary, friend.

should follow up tales from the mos eisley cantina and tales from jabba's palace with tales from idk the casino world? and tales from the sith temple in which we learn about each and every sith ghost or clone or whatever the fuck that was about

this movie owned by the way

Those Tales from... anthologies are basically all of the EU crack I ever need, tbrr.

I've said this before, but I remember picking up Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina from a grocery store and it being way better than it needed to be. Also remember a lot of connections between the stories, which seemed impressive at the time for an anthology?

Does it have the backstory of the bartender

Yes. Yes, it does. If a character appeared onscreen for 0.5 seconds in either Mos Eisley Cantina or Jabba's palace, their tale has been told.

I had that book as a kid, too! Bought it in the Star Tours gift shop at what was then MGM studios at Disney World.

I'm here for MACLUNKEY: A STAR WARS STORY

Never has there been a book widely enjoyed by kids that so flagrantly employed the word 'jizz'.

Man, those Bithans sure do lob some hot jizz!

Here's a poll waiting to happen:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_the_Mos_Eisley_Cantina#Contents

xp I KNOW, RIGHT

Hey guys, there's a new, non-Legends Thrawn trilogy by Zahn starting soon!

it's already a couple books in iirc

Although 'jazz' basically means 'jizz', so maybe Lucas was just making some sociolinguistic commentary

Long, long ago I had this screensaver/Windows 3.1 package that had a bunch of Star Wars related Windows tidbits (i.e. start-up sounds like R2-D2, icons, etc.). One of the things was a screen saver with screenshots from the cantina scene for which you could click on any of the aliens and read more about their names, home planets, reasons for being in the cantina, so on. It was pretty neat at the time. I don't remember how well it all tied in with Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina book.

Not only were many of the stories in the two books tied together but there was at least one crossover between the two books with that creepy dude who turned people into soup or whatever weird thing it was that he did. These were complex works. High-level stuff, man.

The only story I really remember from the Bounty Hunters book was the IG-88 one but it was a game changer.

Yeah, that IG-88 one really stuck with me. I'm about to start The Bounty Hunter Wars trilogy, which I never got around to when it originally came out.