star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

it's p funny that palpatine is able to conjure up the most terrifying fleet ever seen just by hanging out on a sith planet as a corpse for years. why didn't he just do that before? makes all his long-term machinations in the prequels seem a little silly and unnecessarily risky.

Yeah, I recognise this is fantasy, but all this was still too much to believe. We see the construction of the first Death Star beginning in Episode III, and it's only finished by Episode IV, which actually feels realistic... So with the entire Empire at his disposal, it still took 20 years to build one planet-destroying weapon, and roughly 4 years to get the next one almost finished, but then in the 30 years between Episodes VI and IX he managed to build hundreds of planet-destroying ships with only the help of some random cultists.

thinking about count dooku has reminded me how extremely weird it is that darth sidious replaced the limber, physically intimidating darth maul with a new apprentice who was a full 80 years old when he was recruited

guys i hate to say this but I've seen a lot of movies and there are parts of the new Stars Wars movie that are very unrealistic

As mentioned in the non-spoiler thread, I watched the first two prequels and the first half of Clone Wars season 1 over the weekend, and if there's one thing that's become abundantly clear at this point it's that there was never any agreement about what the force is capable of or what its limits are. Its employment seems to morph depending upon the needs of a given scene. It's kinda hella frustrating.

We see the construction of the first Death Star beginning in Episode III, and it's only finished by Episode IV, which actually feels realistic... So with the entire Empire at his disposal, it still took 20 years to build one planet-destroying weapon, and roughly 4 years to get the next one almost finished

The funniest (most unintentionally?) thing Lucas ever said in his DVD commentary for one of the movies addressed how long it took to finish the first Death Star: "Well, you know, even the Empire had union problems."

Also the Death Star plans first show up in episode 2 so there was a long-ass lead time on that thing.

cool to see george taking the side of the empire re: union relations

thinking about count dooku has reminded me how extremely weird it is that darth sidious replaced the limber, physically intimidating darth maul with a new apprentice who was a full 80 years old when he was recruited

The Cohen-Giuliani Effect

that limber, physically intimidating michael cohen in full

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.DhT4QhcsJogonU_EOqnLNgHaE6%26pid%3DApi&f=1

the subtext of the prequels is ALL old rich guy griping about bureaucracy, with the senate and the trade federation standing in for procedure and regulation and red tape. tbf tho, the secondary bad guys are basically the chamber of commerce, not the unions, and overall these are underdog stories where the primary bad guys are the right-wing state...

hmm, according to wookieepedia, the hooded figures were indeed cultists known as the 'sith eternal' rather than ghosts of dead sith:

The Sith Eternal was a secret cult that sought to resurrect the Galactic Empire and the Sith Order. During the New Republic Era, Sith cultists established their lair on the planet Exegol, an ancient Sith bastion located in the Unknown Regions of the galaxy. Using the Sith Citadel as their base, the Sith Eternal oversaw the gradual rejuvenation of Darth Sidious, who was one of the last two Sith Lords until his death at the hands of his apprentice, Darth Vader. The Sith Eternal also had a vested interest in Vader's grandson, Kylo Ren, and sought to determine his worthiness as inheritor of the Sith legacy.

For decades the Sith Eternal toiled in secret to create a fleet composed of Xyston-class Star Destroyers armed with axial superlaser cannons, and TIE/dg starfighters. In addition, they trained an army of Sith troopers indoctrinated to be absolutely loyal to the Sith Eternal. In order to fill their military's ranks, the Sith Eternal cultists raised thousands of humans from Exegol as their children, teaching them to revere the dark side of the Force and to believe that the galaxy was theirs to rule by cosmic right.

During the war between the First Order and the Resistance, the Sith Eternal was on the verge of launching their fleet to reinforce the First Order's military forces. Ren, having passed the Sith Eternal's final test by slaying his master, Supreme Leader Snoke, learned that he was heir to the New Empire waiting to be unleashed from the depths of the Unknown Regions. However, it was ultimately Darth Sidious who reclaimed the mantle of Galactic Emperor after his strength was restored by the power of the bond between Ren and Rey. Despite Sidious' restoration to full strength, the Sith Eternal was destroyed in a battle at Exegol along with the Emperor and their forces.

so yeah in addition to genociding the sith eternal, the rebels also take out thousands of brainwashed exegolians, v cool

Jannah is such a superfluous character, and when Rose is sidelined as well, it's doubly frustrating.

I did love Poe asking 'are THEY still on the star Destroyer?' even though he would have had no clue Finn was there with someone. The whole film was like that, a bunch of small weird things all ultimately deriving from the fact that there was no fucking point to anything that happened at any time.

I hate this fucking film

xxpost Well now that I see it all spelled out in several long paragraphs it all seems so obvious.

I don't hate this film but the more brain power I devote to its consideration the closer it slides toward the 'big dumb and ultimately completely hollow spectacle' territory occupied by Jurassic World. And I only just realized the irony of that as I was typing this post. Huh.

Beautiful

Colin Trevorrow come back but fall down a manhole while you're doing so.

i hate that there must be so much juicy stuff about the behind-the-scenes chaos during the making of all of the kennedy-piloted star warses and spinoffs that we'll never properly hear about because of disney omerta

I think the only thing going on behind the scenes is a commitment to creative excellence. What film studio in the 2010s wouldn't upgrade from Lord & Miller to Ron Howard in the rare instance that such a golden opportunity presented itself?

presuming you're not being paid to do so, you guys gotta stop watching these terrible films! They're just gonna make more until you quit!

I mean, they're not.

They are! The next one is 2022 if not sooner! You did this!

Are there any more planned right now? I mean, they are going to make more, sure, but do we now when the suffering continues?

https://variety.com/2019/film/news/disney-avatar-star-wars-marvel-1203207661/

As part of the great release date shake-up, Disney announced there will be a trio of untitled “Star Wars” entries. These will hit theaters after “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” brings the Skywalker spinoff saga to a close this December. The first of the new three films will hit the big screen on Dec. 16, 2022. There will be two other follow-ups that will premiere in the Christmas corridor on Dec. 20, 2024 and Dec. 18, 2026. The news means that Disney is poised to dominate the busy holiday movie-going season for the foreseeable future, as it alternates between “Avatar” and “Star Wars” films. Moviegoers will be treated to new Na’vi and Jedi adventures each year between 2021 and 2027.

So bummed that all of the Avatar sequels are being pushed back. Said no one ever.

crossover pls

There's this weird ebb/flow between the Lucasfilm Story Group and the creators of individual projects. They basically consult on all projects, providing details and backstory for junk that appears on screen that's unexplained and doing basic error checking to make sure nothing new contradicts canon in an obvious way. But they're not driving the plots of projects and are basically sitting around hoping they don't have cause to hand out a bunch of no-prizes after every new movie comes out.

There's Star Wars as a series of connected stories in film (literature, comics, video games, virtual reality experiences, theme parks) and Star Wars as a set of lore that fans can go nuts over, and they're the keepers of the latter. Basically writing RPG-style sourcebooks both for the public and for the Abramses.

the "Skywalker spinoff saga"? spun off from what??

Okay but well that article is seven months old, and we know of no SW movie that's even in preproduction atm, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that there ain't no new SW coming next year. And I have a hat that's currently marinating and that I will slow roast and eat with great relish if we actually see more than say 2-3 new Avatar installments (a ridiculously overambitious undertaking that I was already skeptical about before the franchise fell into the hands of Nervous Nellie, Inc.).

star wars (1977) iirc xp

we know of no SW movie that's even in preproduction atm, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that there ain't no new SW coming next year

boy is your face gonna be red when babu frik: origins hits the silver screen december 2021

Also the Death Star plans first show up in episode 2 so there was a long-ass lead time on that thing.

― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Tuesday, January 7, 2020 7:35 AM (two hours ago)

I'm getting the impression the new franchise-wide direction when it comes to the "Skywalker Saga" is that nearly all of Palpatine's plans were extremely long-running. The Death Star was in the works for a long-ass time, but it's basically a floating military base with kyber crystal superlaser tech. It's implied (and apparently confirmed) in that recent video game that Starkiller Base was the planet Ilum, where jedi would go to find the crystals for their lightsabers. So they basically strip-mined the jedi's crystal planet and corrupted it to create another superweapon -- and the game takes place between Ep. 3 and Ep. 4, so the Empire had a presence there for a long-ass time, too. The Exegol fleet's super-cannon things appear to be another corrupted crystal laser thingy, so probably another refinement on the technology.

And they're probably all refinements on even jankier sith weapons from hundreds or thousands of years ago!

xp huh heeeeeey

the current film, which apparently no one likes, will gross a billion dollars by the next week or so; my marinated hat and i think some of the disney beancounters will find a way to make a new one in the next two years.

This Christmas, prepare to get Frik-ed right in the Babu!

So they basically strip-mined the jedi's crystal planet and corrupted it to create another superweapon

ah, it's a metaphor for disney buying lucasfilm, i get it now

tbh the best idea for the series would be to create a stable of fringe characters that do things in larger movies but don't have fleshed-out backstories, giving fanfiction writers and whatever the current version of tumblr teens is the ability to create all their own stories and ideas, and luring them to buy more content that addresses their new faves in ephemeral ways to keep the slash fiction dream alive, all while establishing a bunch more lore for them to pull into their campaigns

the real babu frik movie is the one we wrote in our hearts all along

whatever the current version of tumblr teens is

it's tumblr twentysomethings, i think

Whoa, trailer for Babu Frik movie has already dropped, what the heck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk_J0vm3bCI

Good to see they're keeping up with the one-every-second-year schedule which they just proved is too little time for them. So the next trilogy is going to be shit as well. Yay.

just called 1-900-490-FREAK, was very satisfied

aw, i'm bummed to discover that freddie freaker is a past meme; new to me

Oh, did it actually reach meme status? I just remember it from preadolescence when I recorded it off tv and watched it over and over because it was like the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

Baba Frik is actually Boba Fett. So obvious.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/freddie-freaker

Wow, my childhood, dissected by internet denizens...

I cannot swear to it 100% but if the commercials are intact on this thing you might just bear witness to a Freddie within a Freddy: https://archive.org/details/MTVPresentsTheFreddyKruegerSpecial1988

So glad this thread had derailed into a discussion of Freddie Freaker. My day is made.

tbh the best idea for the series would be to create a stable of fringe characters that do things in larger movies but don't have fleshed-out backstories, giving fanfiction writers and whatever the current version of tumblr teens is the ability to create all their own stories and ideas, and luring them to buy more content that addresses their new faves in ephemeral ways to keep the slash fiction dream alive, all while establishing a bunch more lore for them to pull into their campaigns