star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

lol when ren and rey kissed i was like "aren't they brother and sister?" having already decided that ren is the child of leia and luke (also borther and sister): all this goofy pharaonic shit makes sense to me in ref this franchise even tho not quite technically correct (bcz i don't really care i guess)

also they show him not getting blown over by the Falcon exhaust while his Stormtroopers are falling 700 feet back from the thrusters, so perhaps he had some weird Sith/Jedi floaty mechanism

being that the Original Trilogy was a fairly on-the-nose allegory for Christianity, having everybody related to each other and possibly fucking kinda makes sense in a way

all the films need is Aslan.

no one fucks in narnia, this is canon

except tumnus maybe

remember when Susan and Lucy wonder what Silenus does after drinking all that wine

the entire bacchus + schoolgirls drunk party scene is the weirdest shit given that CSL is alleged by some to be xtian

more like bachthatassup amirite

apparently the official lucasfilm line is that Anakin was Palpy as a father figure but that was the extent of their relationship, so Ben/Kylo has no real connection and there is definitely no royal incest angle

I still find it hard to believe anyone fucks in this franchise, except maybe the horny old lady who wants to jump Chewie

thinking back on shirtless Kylo and the wet hand, still baffled there are ppl who don't consider those scenes in TLJ horny

xp oh the midichlorians fuck

those scenes are definitely horny, as is the fighting on Death Star ruins in the water

i haven't seen this but i don't like it

― i chop up the orange and chomp on the inside of it (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 20 December 2019 09:47 (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

i have seen this and i don’t like it

so perhaps he had some weird Sith/Jedi floaty mechanism

I rewatched the beginning of The Phantom Menace last night (...I know); Qui-Gon and Obi-Won do this thing I never noticed, where they scoot away from some enemy droids super fast; then they drop like 30 ft. into a hangar without a scratch (via bad CGI). So, yeah.

probably just as well they didn't even try to explain how palpatine could come back after literally exploding.

not palpy’s boat

tbf if merry had just said "some stupid sith bullshit lol" we wd be cheering the line to the echo, why don't the lore-continuity nerds know this yet?

lampshade hanging but disarmingly flimsy, is CINEMA

— martin scorsese

Palpy came back as clone(s) in the old EU. I’m glad they didn’t bother explaining his return in this movie, there’s no point.

important content imo: https://www.vulture.com/2019/12/does-j-j-abrams-know-adam-driver-is-hot-an-investigation.html

Xpost Nobody recognized him initially because he went by "Roy Hodgson" when he resurfaced

xxp Sheeev Paalpatine

I seem to have changed my display name after I had drinks yesterday. Just going to roll with it for now

protect babu frik at all costs

I have decided not to change my dn to "babu frik 'fuck a fan' contest"

babu frik fuck a fan at all costs

babu frik doodoodoodoo *to the tune of baby shark*

Btw, if we haven’t mentioned it yet, Babu is voiced by the actor on the right here:

https://c8.alamy.com/comp/PM6G7J/film-still-publicity-still-from-24-hour-party-people-steve-coogan-shirley-henderson-2002-united-artists-photo-credit-jon-shard-PM6G7J.jpg

there's a Babu on the right

huh heeeey

does Star Wars have a very low subtitle budget, btw?

because it drives me nuts how many convos are held with one person speaking English and the other person replying in whatever language they speak.

also, why does C-3PO translate what Leia-in-Disguise is saying into English instead of Jabba's native language. Obv Jabba knows English but I want my translator to accommodate me.

ooooh oooh wait do people wear like one of those Opera Supertitle screens on their chests at all times

ok, knowing that was shirley henderson’s voice is making me giggle

I don’t think there’s a single conversation in star wars with subtitles where knowing what they’re saying adds more information! I screwed up ripping a Return if the Jedi disc years ago and left the subtitles off only to realize they don’t add anything anyway

The first half of this 23-minute video — made two years ago — explores some interesting (possible) Rey/Palpatine foreshadowing in The Force Awakens: music, fighting style, etc.

that subtitle thing is especially true in Return of the Jedi since C-3P0 is translating everything anyway

ok, knowing that was shirley henderson’s voice is making me giggle

how many convos are held with one person speaking English and the other person replying in whatever language they speak.

It's funny so many presumably barely-considered decisions in A New Hope have dictated canon for 40+ years in a multi-billion dollar franchise. There's multiple books based around the whole Kessel Run parsec thing, I believe

for all the neckbeard anger over The Last Jedi, you'd have thought the camera panned *up* after the crawl

Saw this yesterday. My expectations for Disney SW were appropriately mid-barred with TFA, so this was fine and fleetingly entertaining. Although of the five movies I've seen in the last 24 hours (still at home with the fam but tbf not frittering my day any more frivolously than usual) this is probably right in the middle of the road, not quite hitting the heights of Spider-Verse or Harmony Korine's McConaughey doc but probably diverting on roughly the same level as a Clifford or a Deadfall.

The least I have enjoyed a Star Wars movie in the cinema since Phantom Menace - to be fair I skipped Solo, but even my hyped-up teenage daughters were totally disengaged and rolling eyes at the fan service.

you'd have thought the camera panned *up* after the crawl

It does this in Attack of the Clones, LOL

Ah that must be why i hate it

my friend’s son, who is in elementary school, has reviewed the movie: sad that Ben died after turning good, and there should have been more Lando

I don't think I saw this explicitly discussed upthread but: Sheev's plan was to have Rey kill him so that he and all the former Sith lords could then use her as their vessel. So I sat there wondering, huh, now how is Rey gonna put a stop to Sheev without killing him? And then, in the end...she, uh, killed him. So I mean...she's just like a massively evil Sith receptacle now, yeah?

he killed himself because her push was purely defensive? seemed pretty obvious

my first guess was that Ben was going to take him down and then immediately die from his injuries before becoming the Sith lord

xxp I think it’s the difference between “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine,” and actually killing him.

He said she had to renounce being a Jedi before killing him, and then she would absorb all of the Sith and him.

Yea, it's very thin, but he did state more than merely killing him was required.