CATS is closing!!

Stars human actors with CGI fur, not actual cats with CGI human features
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CATS is kind of remarkable for the moment in that it seems so demented it's impossible to map a political valence onto it

— christmas cheer liz bruenig (@ebruenig) December 27, 2019

bruenig annoys me more than not but if this^^^ observation is correct -- i still haven't seen it -- it makes CATS (2019) good not bad

Cats v Dogs is like the ur schism.

dargis didn't have much trouble
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/18/movies/cats-review.html

It’s too bad that no one seems to have thought through the semiotics of Victoria’s chalky white cat face, given that Hayward is of mixed race and that the heavy is Idris Elba’s predatory Macavity. Elba seems to be having a fine time, but come on!

damn. what a tragedy for Cats, the movie

Cats on a Plane

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/evan-rachel-wood-cats-review-frozen-2-a9262481.html

“……..#cats is actually worse than I thought it would be, And I already thought it would be horrible. But….I am actually speechless. Why would you change the choreography? I…am SPEECHLESS,” Wood said in a now-deleted tweet.

On Instagram Stories she exclaimed: “I have to have an actual live reaction of this. What the f—, what the f—, what the f—? What? What? What… the f—? What the f—? Oh my god!”

lol, i wonder if that won't inspire more famous people to drop the omerta and dogpile

From the article, it seems that ERW is actually upset because she is a fan of the original stage production of CATS though, which makes her take a little different from most everybody else's.

I wonder if the creators of Cats: The Movie would like to use a time machine to make my former misapprehension about the movie (i.e. that it was an animated endeavor, as it would have been in any sane and unbroken world) a reality.

If it were still the DVD era they would add a few naughty bits and re-release it as "Cats: Unrated In-Heat Cut."

you know in an era where every wide release film winds up getting neutered and focus grouped to death it's kind of a miracle that this exists

neutered, lol

I sense this might have worked with an under $25 M budget. No CGI, more lavish sets/makeup than the stage show, drop in a few stars willing to perform for modest salaries/cuts, then play up the naughty bits and release unrated (even if technically PG), with marketing to theater geek adults. Aim it at the Rocky Horror Picture Show crowd, rather than soccer moms.

if you really want to make money explicitly aim it at furries imo

they did! they just overbudgeted.
I do think this becomes the next decade's showgirls and everyone involved gets really tired of having to field "i hate to ask, but i have to ask... Cats... what were you thinking?" questions.

From what I gather (mostly from comments to this review by a open furry), to aim at furries you'd need to go the full "fur suit" approach, with no visible human faces and markedly distorted body forms. It would turn off other audiences, and the # of lapsed theater/dance peeps >> # of furries into cats or Cats the musical.

ah yes, the ol’ ‘i was only RESEARCHING the furry community, yr honour’ defence

My closest graze was wearing bunny ears as a 8-year old at Easter. YMS probably has more subscribers than there are furries in the world.

this did not disappoint. truly deranged and as my viewing partner accurately stated, "relentless"

knew exactly what movie they were in and thus made off with their dignity mostly intact: idris elba, francesca hayward (who deserves a medal for being in so much of this, really), ian mckellen
did their usual shtick and thus made off with their dignity mostly intact: ray winstone, jennifer hudson, taylor swift ("beautiful ghosts" fucking sucks, though)
deserve hazard pay for the nonstop fat jokes and characters mostly defined by their fatness: rebel wilson, james corden
totally miscast and generally just dogshit in both performance and design: judi dench
jason derulo: miiiiiilk!

people who left early were congratulated by other members of the audience on their way out for their sound judgment and wished a happy new year

there was a bit of a mr. mestopheles sing/clapalong

the drunk guy behind us kept pointing at judi dench and saying "she's the worst one!" (accurate)

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/dec/31/cats-film-box-office-failure-universal

Seems it's a box-office bomb! Never mind, these big-budget flicks have a long tail.

Xp did you see judi dench’s human hand or no

irl judi dench's hands are no more human than mine tbrr

The bare feet was an odd part

also an odd part: every other part

why does SNA show there's a new post from El Tomboto and then I don't see it here?

Cat got their tongue?

MACAVITY'S NOT THERE

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/63/e1/c5/63e1c5e4835ba62f4e7e6a08ed82e604.gif

are those....cat boobs?

Macavity gets us all in the end.

xpost:

https://media.giphy.com/media/jqrUmLpdklOx4syx9m/giphy.gif

fat fingers on Zing interface caused me to quote-post Matt#2 along with some random shit that was on my clipboard and I was irritated enough by the error to use MOD POWERS

while I'm at it I've fixed the font problem

incontestable proof/of his singular magical powers

https://i.imgur.com/rqD2llf.gif

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ENJiX3yXUAALsxr?format=jpg

("beautiful ghosts" fucking sucks, though)

Not as much as every non-Memories song in the rest of the movie, though.

i wanna know what katherine thinks about Cats: The Movie

tbh all the music that wasn't "Memories" or "Mr. Mestopheles" sounded at least semi-improvised to me, not helped by the mushmouthed delivery of the movie stars

I was going to add it was the one song not inspired by TS Eliot, and had lyrics by Richard Stilgoe.

Anyway, it seems both of those are not so.

I do know the song is called "Memory" though.

important literary fact: ts eliot is an anagram of toilets, stilgoe is an anagram of toilegs

Remember what Delmore Schwartz said about Eliot.

I do think this becomes the next decade's showgirls and everyone involved gets really tired of having to field "i hate to ask, but i have to ask... Cats... what were you thinking?" questions.

They share (potential) midnight-movie longevity but just to be clear Showgirls rules and this fuckin sucks real bad and should only be enjoyed ironically

i've admittedly only seen showgirls once about two decades ago but i recall it being horrible

showgirls is at the very least a very well-made film technically, which, i haven't seen cats yet, but i bet i can't make that claim for it

oh yeah no this looks terrible on every level; it's not as frustratingly shot as Les Mis but for example the way the miniaturized ensemble takes up so little space in the frame makes the whole thing look a lot cheaper and shittier than it should. that's before you even get into how misconceived the character designs are

Has Verhoeven ever won an Academy Award? Didn't think so. Case closed, iirc.