bojo is king, brexit is on, stuff is fvcked, tomorrow starts here -- new govt new thread new battle

I'm struggling to fit a medium crown turkey in my shitty oven. Don't know the long-pig is going to fit in there ffs.

this has been a cruel year in many respects but continually teasing the deaths of one or more royals and delivering zero was especially irritating

Year’s not over yet, you seen the pics of undead Phil?

feel like he can keep that up for a decade tbh

adrenochrome is a helluva drug

By that difficult 9th season of The Crown he will have been a grateful recipient of the first successful body transplant.

he can have mine, i can see i'd be trading up

The Mao embalming story is from 'The Private Life of Chairman Mao: The Memoirs of Mao's Personal Physician' by Li Zhisui, pretty grim book with memorable bits with him never brushing his teeth (just swilling it out with green tea) and only "washing" his penis in virgin teenage peasant girls.

The maosoleum in Beijing still claims to contain his body, not a waxwork, but in my 8 years there I never managed to get up at 6am to go check it out.

Yes, it's an excellent read is that. Oh fuck, that comment on his genital hygiene.. Hideous man!

His reasoning for not brushing his teeth was that tigers don't do it iirc

i mean he’s not wrong tbfftl

his hair was 70% right and 30% wrong

Chairman Mao: right on landlords, right on tigers

I lived for 6 months with my wife on a hutong off nanluoguxiang in beijing, it was one of those courtyard houses, we just had one room in the complex owned by a terrifying old lady we had to call "dama" - she was part of a "red song" singing contest and used to practice tunelessly singing a song about "we will take the landlord's stick and beat him with it" outside my door at 5.30am every fucking day, she was literally my landlord and walked around with a stick.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMjR3usXsAACBkM?format=jpg&name=large Clive should be lower imo

tiger, tiger, swiping right

they seem to have erroneously neglected to put Starmer in the bottom box with Jess!

yeah Clive is way too dodgy. Growing up in public is tough - but he's nearly bloody 50 ffs!

it's pretty much done as a competition.

yeah but they're gonna get the leader and the deputy the wrong way round again

i mean...do we reckon mcdonnell in charge could have taken this election? i almost do

McD probably wouldn't have got nommed by Dame Beckett, she probably just considered Corbyn a placeholder joke and no threat, who wouldn't have got many votes. McD on the other hand...

idk really .. just guessing here

i mean...do we reckon mcdonnell in charge could have taken this election? i almost do

Even though I much prefer McDonnell to Corbyn in almost every department, if you think Corbyn was given a hard time over Irish Republican sympathies it would have been as nothing to what McDonnell would have faced.

Yeah I was going to say, Corbyn was almost comically English, big Johnny Mac has a hunger strikers placard in his office, dual loyalties trope for years.

If you are a McD fan it's hard to understand why so many people despise him, but that's pretty much why most of 'em do!

McD's interest in drain covers is more about placing bombs under them, amirite?

from here it really seems like McD would have lost in pretty much the same way but the debates would have been considerably more satisfying I think

john’s raw sexual charisma would have secured a historic labour landslide imo

tracy-ann oberman has spent entire years on here talking about how corbyn was an evil anti-semite terrorist yet when she saw him in person her main thoughts was that he was pretty hot https://t.co/F6U0p7dTlx pic.twitter.com/Sd3qunmuqr

— doug (@heardougtweet) December 23, 2019

melts contain multitudes!

itt: corbynite hornyposting (anyone thirsting for richard burgon will be permabanned)

meltitudes

was taken to many funerals of elderly people i had never met as a child and used to always have a good poke at the body and nobody ever gave out to me

lol responding to this

Lads ye are weak horses, I’ve never been to a closed-coffin funeral

― glindr jackson (gyac), Tuesday, 24 December 2019 12:17 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Your search - video game rankings of Labour politicians - returned 1 ILXoR

Mr Sobel ? Need more like him and less like Dan Jarvis who has apparently thrown his rusty old battered helmet into the ring on a "let's pretend it's 2010" agenda.

lol I still remember some racist thugs in the Ed Mili era saying Labour would clean up with Dan Jarvis. He's an ugly fucking troglodyte with shit for brains so maybe they were onto something.

“Clever for the Army” is the best thing that’s ever been said about him.

sounds very generous to me

there was a point where he was a bit of an unknown quantity and was given a lot of goodwill as "one of our boys" but it soon became apparent that even by Labour Right post Blair standards he was a very shallow and stagnant pond!

the only closed-coffin i ever had to go to wasnt great neither tbh

Yeah, can imagine tbh.

What I came here to link:

The critics are wrong. CATS highly entertaining - and the very small audience applauded at the end. Go see. Clever. Funny. Some amazing special effects. And funny how you can get into human stories through fake cats ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) December 24, 2019

pic.twitter.com/OEVzxJ1X7C

— Christmas Depression (@aboynamedposh) December 24, 2019

an old friend of mine once confided to me that when his Ukrainian father died (who was about 3 decades older than his mother) he heard her fucking one of the funeral directors in the living room, with his father's cadaver in the centre of the room in a coffin. yes, he was quite a troubled soul tbf!

anyone cadaver

lool!

that was too fucking swift for Christmas Eve

sat up beautifully tbf

the pun, not the